want to share something that you don’t think deserves it’s own thread? wanna chill with your trans homies? wanna support your trans comrades? do it here!

  • DerEwigeAtheist [she/her, comrade/them]English
    16•1 year ago

    This week I have my first appointment with an Endocrinologist, was apparently very lucky lwith my region and timing, since just a year ago one required like a b}nch of papers from psychologists for hormone treatment.

    Also feeling so-so, since I am in an environement where I am constantly (mis)gendered. I feel like I am backsliding into thinking I am a guy, and it is not a good feeling. But it’s only for two more days.

    I want to meet more local trans people, but the last attempt did not go so well. One said we had to keep out refugees because the boat is full, another was extremly sectarian, called me a tankie and a fgnocide denier and everything (over the take that the USSR was actually socialist and should be learnt from) which felt pretty bad.

    Also another local trans group has split intp two(men and women) for some reason noone can explain to me.

    I can maybe get access to some different regional groups, and look if they are less sectarian. I know a trans guy who is active with the local trots, maybe a possible adress.

  • DayOfDoom [any, any]English
    12•1 year ago

    Is crying in dating profile pictures still a faux pas? Or is it basically a normie filter and leaving only the cool people?

    • LeylaLove [she/her, love/loves]MEnglish
      14•1 year ago

      Yeah, it feels like it’s impossible to make it in this world right now. However, sacrificing that piece of yourself for an easier life makes for a more depressing life. The one of the things that keeps me from using fent again and just sleeping through everything is because gender euphoria is a far more friendly dragon to chase than drugs. When I feel like a pretty girl, I don’t feel the need to be high all the time. Working towards that is the only resolve.’

      I don’t mean to get overly presumptuous here, but I’ve seen many of your posts and have walked in many of the same paths. If you truly believe that you are trans in your heart of hearts, living an image that isn’t congruent with that is dissociation of the self that leads to people like us needing a little something else to keep existing. Then eventually that something else takes over and ruins the few good things that we’ve managed to keep in our lives.

      I don’t know what exactly has happened, but I’m worried for you. If you need to go into hiding for safety, I’m not judging that, I don’t want to make you feel like you’re doing anything wrong if you’re just doing what you have to do to be safe. However, I think you should really consider the mental health impact of giving up any hope on transitioning. This isn’t just giving up on transitioning from what I’ve seen in your posts, giving up this hope sounds like you’re giving up all hope for your own life. We’d really miss you if you just stopped posting one day. We’d miss you if you gave up your entire self to the selfish and narrow minded whims of others. Like I said, if it’s a safety thing, I sincerely apologize and hope you’re able to stay safe. But unless this is just a reality you absolutely have to accept or die, the more you think about never transitioning, the more you bottle up your feelings of gender dysphoria, the less stable you’ll be.

      • allthetimesivedied [they/them, she/her]
        15•1 year ago

        I had been taking HRT for two years when I started using meth, and then gave up—idk why, I just lost one of my meds and said “Fuck, why bother.”

        I started doing DIY in the spring/summer of 2022, on and off, then made it official tail end of that year. Then I ran out of refills and just didn’t care.

        I recently stopped calling myself a trans woman because it feels like a joke. I still wanted to do gender-affirming stuff though. But it’s hard for me to look in the mirror anymore and not see an ugly cis man. I am always going to wear that Mark of Cain. I have never fit in as femme; the fact that I have never lived a day of my life “as a woman,” made even worse by my being attracted to women, basically being a straight cis man in all but name, has always made me an outcast. I can’t even have a healthy friendship with non-men.

        Nobody, not even the person who used to my friend, has ever seen me as female and it’s absurd to expect anything else. I don’t belong at all.

        • LeylaLove [she/her, love/loves]MEnglish
          3•1 year ago

          First off, this is the toughest thing to suggest, but the thing that many doctors would suggest. Go to a psych and DO NOT mention your meth use. Many meth addicts just have ADHD. I have untreated ADHD (can’t handle any stimulant for more than a day though so I’ve had no real battle with stimulant addiction aside from cigs and coke weekends. I will forget to smoke, drink, any of my normal vices, for hours because I took a tiny amount of amphetamines, and meth does it too. Quite simply, your brain doesn’t generate enough dopamine to keep you motivated, so meth objectively becomes an appealing option.

          I know what you mean. It feels like people who agree that I’m trans are all just buying in on the delusion. It’s like yeah, you might call me she, but I’m literally dating you and you won’t grab my tits, even though other boys roasted me for having big tits for a “boy”. She hasn’t touched any part of me sexually other than my penis in months. Yeah, it makes me really fucking dysphoric and suicidal. But at some point, I had to accept that I literally do not value her opinion and want to be a pretty girl without her, and that’s just how it is unfortunately. You’re worth working towards.

  • vertexarray [any]English
    15•1 year ago

    Writing selfinsert fic about myself and bayonetta except she teaches me how to Tetsuzanko in a totally platonic manner so I can chuck people through plate glass windows whenever I want

  • bubbalu [they/them]English
    19•1 year ago

    A very straight-looking guy came up to me at the club and said “I’m bisexual and you’re…I don’t know what I’m saying can I give you a hug?” Feel like I am starting to read some time of way now…

  • SnowySkyes [she/her]MEnglish
    19•1 year ago

    Gods, I feel terrible about my body. I actually got a good look at myself and my upper body just looks miserable. Not only am I broadchested, but my boobs are very separated. Having a 38DD don’t mean shit in this frame. Not only that, but my stomach is all kinds of fucked thanks to a lazy tummy tuck I had done a few years ago. The doctor outright told me that he didn’t do a full job because he expected me to have a mastectomy done (this was before my egg cracked; I’ve had some form of breasts since I was 12 years old). So I still have saggy skin in the oddest places that does not flatter me in the slightest. It is causing me an intense amount of psychic damage right now and I’m just miserably depressed from it.

    I really don’t know what to do with myself sometimes. I wish things would calm down in my life a little so I could breathe for once. Managing two relationships with a ton of travel, managing my own life, and taking care of the house is just making me incapable of resting. I genuinely hate it sometimes.

  • Jenniferrr [she/her, comrade/them]English
    21•1 year ago

    So like I had an amazing weekend last weekend. I actually told a coworker I’m trans, this is the first cis coworker that knows. I had to tell him cause he wanted to jam and play music, and so did I, but that’s outside of work which means I’m def not gonna boymode. He was SO normal about it. Just super accepting and very cool. We had like a 3 hour jam sesh with another trans friend of mine and it was pretty amazing. Then I went to a rave that night which was absolutely flawless and I looked and felt incredible. Yesterday I told my long time friend that I’m trans too, he lives across the country so we don’t see eachother. He said he loved and accepted me so that’s good. Lots of good things happening really

  • WannabeBear [he/him, comrade/them]English
    26•1 year ago

    Life is shockingly good right now and idk how to feel about that.

    • I’m finally on the waitlist for top surgery (downside is that it’s 1.5-2+ years before I’ll be having surgery, if I want it funded by public healthcare. Also downside is they’re suggesting that I reduce my BMI, which is just awesome with my history of dieting and disordered eating. kitty-cri-screm. I might go private, partly to avoid the waitlist (2 years is way too long), partly to possibly avoid getting annoying diet talk from my GP (the public surgeon sent her a letter asking her to reduce my weight, basically, lol)
    • I have a job lined up for after graduation, and came out to them about being trans. They were mostly supportive and cool, though a tiny bit boomer (I will probably have to educate them some, which sucks, but is also inevitable in my industry). One staff member did misgender me last time I was there, so next time I’m coming with a name tag with my manly new name (I mostly go by a shortened version which is fairly gender neutral, the full version is definitely considered a male name) and pronoun pins. Hopefully that will help. I need a beard.
    • I’m getting so close to being Out everywhere. I just need to come out to my in-laws and an aunt and uncle, so they don’t get to freak out about finding out via the grapevine or social media or something.
    • I’m dating a cis woman who is married to a trans woman and it’s SO WILD to be dating a woman in a straight way, and absolutely amazing to be dating someone who has already been “cooked” in terms of cis people being educated about trans stuff. She’s so incredible at affirming my gender. The downside is idk how to feel about discovering this straight side of myself. It’s kind of disturbing and makes me feel unsettled. Also I’m discovering new ways to trigger dysphoria, which is annoying. Like I can be with a guy and not wear a binder and if I feel his flat chest on my tits it’s kind of just neutral. But feeling someone else’s tits on my tits is like. A big reminder that I have tits, and very unpleasant. So I have to wear a binder all the time with her, which sucks because I already bind way more than you’re supposed to. But overall this new relationship is very fun and good.

    Idk why I used bullet points for such massive paragraphs. I think those are all the good trans news I’ve got going on.

  • kristina [she/her]MEnglish
    21•1 year ago

    new bit: flashmobbing a anti-abortion pregnancy center with all my trans sisters after eating a ton of taco bell so we can see our food babies on ultrasound