I have seen in many US shows where they portray guys who are living with parents as losers, or there are jokes or memes about it, I never get it.
Because the people who write American media are the same people with investments in real estate.
So i started living back with my mom when i was in my late 20s, i lost a 70k job due to bullshit. Then i got back to working hoping to move out… and… covid hit… i was laid off after a year, and i just havent got back to working. I live with my mom who is disabled and in very bad health over conditions i dont know how to spell. Then i got a dui after my old boss died, i wasnt even driving just sitting in the car drunk by a lake. So now i cant drive for another couple years and am finding it hard to work some whete close that i can get a ride that also doesnt make me be around a shit ton of people who i might get sick from and then bring it back to my mother.
No i didnt answer your question, but i tried to outline the why of someone living back with their parents.
Were you going to sleep by that lake, or did the cops just catch you a bit early for your taste?
I was sitting writing in a book when the park ranger came by, he asked me to move my car and as soon as i took it off the hand brake it rolled backwards. So i asked him to call the police to help deal with the situation. So i really brought it upon myself but i thought they would help pull a car out from the water? But instead they let it sink when a simple whinch wouldve gotten it out. So yeah its my fault
Wow someone down voted me in 4 minutes. Bot? Or just some asshole?
Why care about downvotes?
Because he was open and vulnerable and shared a very personal part of his life and immediately someone down voted him.
Dont down vote him, he’s right in questioning me. I actually thought more about my response because of him.
Today is the day you stop drinking my friend
Hmmm why? Im not saying drinking isnt bad for me, but as of tonight- what bad has drinking done to me?
You could argue your DUI, but you could also argue that cop just fucked you.
I have interviews coming up, so fuck it after tonight i won’t drink till i work toward a new job.
Give us an update when you get a new job, see how long you can go :)
I shouldnt i know, but thinking about all that really bothered me. And then i see not even 5 minutes later a downvote. Im drunk right now so it honestly bothered me. Im not sure what else to say.
In the US, wages were high enough that you could afford rent and a decent living as an unskilled laborer until fairly recently.
Also, if you lived with your parents you could not fuck. Even if your parents were not religious, it was a social value and they probably weren’t cool with it. And your date probably wasn’t cool with it wither, because it was weird.
Now that a) it’s impossible to afford rent and it’s becoming more common and b) we’re transitioning from Boomers (who tended to have a more antagonistic and condescending relationship with their children) to Gen X being the “older generation”, I suspect that perception is in the process of changing now-a-days.
But previous generations were expected to nag the shit out of their kids to get a job and/or spouse and a house so the parents could do cruises full time in their retirement or some such. So to a large extent, it was societal pressure and people got the idea that living with your parents was “pathetic” *from their parents.
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I don’t disagree with your point but for future reference, it’s better made without the dog whistle.
Curious about how the cabal can be a dog whistle. Can you enlighten me? The wiki article didn’t help. Though learning the etymology was cool.
There’s a very common anti-Semitic conspiracy theory that a Jewish cabal runs the world from the shadows and manipulates/is the world elite.
There are a lot of ways to disprove this but I think the easiest is to just look at the world currently: there is a “cabal” that “runs the world”, but no they are not all Jews nor are they secretly plotting all the bad things to happen. Really it’s a disparate set of individuals and organizations that have their own goals and agendas but who all have a shared, vested interest in maintaining the status quo and it’s trajectory. And some are in contact or proximity with others, but it isn’t usually some massive overarching “world order”. Yes you do see the individuals or organizations conspiring together, but it isn’t some massive syndicate. It’s people with shared interests trying to utilize every advantage they can. Or they just shoot the shit, who knows. My point is that while there are “shadowy” figures at the top who hold important positions of power, wealth, influence, and status, they’re just people and groups trying to maximize on their opportunities, as is the unfettered nature of capitalism. And no they aren’t all Jews.
inb4 shitty person makes a shitty comment: you can be against anti-Semitism while also being against Zionism. Not supporting bigotry does not mean i support ethnostates.
Practically every word can be a potential dogwhistle, since provided the right context it’ll convey something that targets or marginalises a group of people. In this case because nutjobs who believe in a Jewish control conspiracy often refer to that as a “cabal”.
But that requires a context, that is simply absent from the [now deleted] comment using the word. And given a suitable context, every single word can be used to spread a hate discourse. Even a grammatical particle like “it”. (It shows how useless the concept of dogwhistles is, in comparison to looking at what the person says in a discursive level.)
Cabal is originally a Hebrew word. It’s still used to ostracize Jews
Today I Learned
I imagine its something to do with the Jews.
Cabal… Kabbalah… It’s the root word. “Jews secretly run the world” etc. That’s usually how it’s used today.
If you’re in an East Asian culture, it’s not.
Seems to even be expected that you live with your parents.
Implication is that you’re incapable of being self sufficient.
Too broke to move out, your parents still cook for you / do your laundry, can’t bring a girl home without your parents hearing you get it on, etc.
Implication is that you’re incapable of being self sufficient.
Holdover stereotype from when living on your own with a service job was realistically doable. Which just flat out is not the case in most cities now.
Although not wanting your parents hear you bang is totally fair.
Agreed. I think this is more of a late 90s / early 2000s thing. It’s become more acceptable today for sure, especially if you’re going to university or something.
There are bootstraps you haven’t appropriately pulled up if you live at home.
The more legitimate reason is that there’s a school of thought that you can’t become a fully-fledged, independent adult without putting some distance between youself and the folks that raised you. There’s a difference between someone who never left home and is content to just stay in the status quo, vs an adult who maybe went to off to college or was away from home for some period of time while working that has had to come back due to challenging circumstances and doesn’t plan to stay longer than they need to. Obviously, the stereotype is of the former and not the latter.
Historical cultural difference between the US and other countries. Although it is less prevalent now, it was expected for a male to be on his own and “leave the nest” as soon as they graduated high school, with college being that transition point if an education was pursued.
The old America where you left home as soon as you could and built your own life with hard work and skill is long gone, but the trope and the expectations are still there.
It isn’t anymore. That’s dead.
It was, like 25 years ago. Well, maybe 15 years ago.
Pre-2007.
Because back then people were making good money out of college, and they were able to buy a house for themselves. Shit, they didn’t even need to go to college. As long as you were working hard before 2007, and you were going to be able to find a down payment on a house as long as you didn’t have some kind of financial affliction.
That’s not to say that gen X had it easy as compared to those before them, but there’s a clear separation.
Millennials tried their hardest not to live at home, just because of the social stigma.
Gen Z is feeling that stigma less. That’s why you’re probably here questioning why it’s even a thing. You’re probably Gen Z.
Jen alpha won’t see it as strange.
I really hope the stigma goes away because unless the world economy improves, a lot of people will have to stay with parents until a lot later in life.
It is a cultural thing though. It’s not an issue at all in most of SE Asia.
My parents suck. If you have to put up with their shit you’re definitely a loser.
Seing how most US parrents raise their children, I do believe you.
Glad I don’t live with your parents.
Ok this is a super fascinating intersection of American social history
So the first thing you have to always keep in mind when thinking about Americans and their behavior is that the country was founded by people so absurdly religious that the British kicked them out. Then, along with some wealthy land owners, they said “fuck off” right back to the crown, declared “no take-backs”, and went on about 100 years of aggressive westward expansion.
If you’re not familiar with the phrase “manifest destiny” it’s worth looking up. It’s fundamental to American society
Fast forward a bit to post-WWII and the economic boom of the time. “The American Dream” - and the promise to our returning soldiers - was owning your own house with a yard, wife, kids, dog, and a car. And given our history, and the return of thousands and thousands of young men from the war, that kinda became the measuring stick of basic success: moving out.
And of course since America is the land of opportunity, if you can’t do even that much, you’ve only got yourself to blame /s
We all know the meme of “striking out on your own” as a symbol of maturity. This is just what happens when “striking out on your own” becomes a cultural identity
Are you there yet?
I am now! Just edited
in the US, we value independence - and living with your parents after you’re 18 is the polar opposite, or so society would lead you to believe.
It suggests they can’t afford to pay rent. It’s an old stereotype that is kind of redundant nowadays since (a) most people renting can’t afford it anymore and (b) different cultures are way more accepting and even encouraged living with your family. Most people understand that now.
You still here the saying buts it’s more about NEETs taking advantage of family rather than being smart
Disregarding different societal norms, I find it interesting that some people don’t have the intrinsic need to gtfo to a more personal space, be it either nice or shitty parents.
