I have a lot of runners up, like Amrito for Amy, or Bradinglesmirch for Briar, but I think the dumbest has to be Scott Von Scott of the Scottsdale Scotts Who Did Scott So Scottily in the Battle of Scotteen Twelve.
So I ask you, what’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever called your furry friends?
His real name is Louie
He goes by Louie, Lewis, Lewis Hamilton, Douglas Luiz, Dougie, Doogie, Dougie Howzer MD, King Louis XIV of France, Doug Larse,.
I have a toy Yorkie named Jazzy, and I call her either Jabu or Sweet-Pickle
Our cat is called Gecko because he climbs everything. Never had any other name.
Let’s see,
Nutmeg: Nutters Nutters BoButters Nutters BoButters Pants POO Butt
Jessie: Jessers Jessers BoBesseres Jessers BobBessers Pants ( see a patern?) Cuddle Bumpkins Also dumb as a stump but twice as cute as the cutest stumps
Timone: Mister Drool boy Sir Timoneus the Hungry
Gizmo: Gizzy Princess Gizzy Her Royal Highness Gizmodius the Sassy
Miss Fartypants. It’s not as bad now that we’ve adjusted her diet, but at one point that tiny cat could clear the room.
Mutiny.
Short for Sra. Sable Prettyeye the Tiny Enigma Mutant.
Not a current pet but I want to name my next cat Hattibagen McCat
Silvery Boy
Silver Bro
Naughty Boy
Antigold
Lugia (a reference to Pokémon Silver)
His real name is “Silver”, and he’s a bitey snowshoe cat that has psychopathy.
cat that has psychopathy.
You could have just said ‘cat’.
All cats have psychopathy? I thought it was an exclusive trait to my cat.
You learn something new everyday.
Dogs are honestly creepier to me. They’re just too uncanny. I think they’re more devious than they get credit for, any animal that gets human pointing is sus a[r]f
“The Wuh” her actual name was diamond, but my brother one day just called her “Diamond Wuh” and it stuck. After that everything we called her was also a variation of wuh
I love this one, that’s bizarrely adorable
My grandmother had a cat we never got around to naming, and as a result what stuck for referring to her was just “pspspspsps”. So we’d ask something like “Did pspspsps eat?”. Amount of ps not standardised.
My little sister then decided that her name should be “little strawberry”, in our language of course. She was not a ginger but a black and white cat. One day she disappeared, and about a year later when I moved to an apartment nearby I saw her getting fed by one of my (and my grandmothers) neighbor.
We had a lovely cat when I grew up, she was completely black, with short but compact fur, and tuffs on her ears.
For this to make sense, I need to talk about Swedish grammar…
In Swedish grammar we have two genus for words:
“Utrum” words get the suffix “(e)n” in their definitive form.
“Neutrum” words get the suffix “(e)t” in their definite form.
These words also get the en/ett article in front of it when talking about a signular unspecified item.
Example:
Car - bil, a car - en bil, the car - bilen
Table - bord, a table - ett bord, the table - bordet
Now, the Swedish word for cat is an utrum word:
Katt, en katt, katten.
One of the nicknames we used to call our cat was the neutrum defined form: “kattet”.
Which if I am looking back at this comment is a funny nickname, with a stupidly complex explanation to non Swedish speakers.
We forgive you because of ABBA, Roxette and Besta.
I’ve named my dog “in-the-way dog”. No matter what you’re trying to get done, there he is.
Open a drawer? He’s blocking it. Walking through a doorway? Step over him. Carrying a hot saucer to the sink? He’s right at your feet when you turn around.
Probably calling Kika “cachaceira”. It means drunkard, but I do it because she reacts really well to words with /ʃ/ or /ʒ/.
In the same vibe I often call her “chorona” (crybaby), “chata” (annoying), “jaguara” (sly/lazy), jumenta (donkey), “tutoja” (babytalk for “gostosa” - yummy, hot/sexy).
Then there’s Siegfrieda. Or [insert any German word]frieda. Including Schweinfrieda (Pigfrieda), Scheißfrieda (Shitfrieda), Njaunjaufrieda (Meowmeowfrieda? I don’t even know if “njau” is a legit word).
I spent far too long trying to figure out what version of Spanish this was before I gave up and googled. (It’s not)
I had a cat whose name was Kirby and his nickname eventually turned to Care Bear (because Kirby>Kirbs>Kirb-ber) and now my parents have a cat named Barry and he is Ber-ber.
There’s also Rumball (Remy) and Kimball (Kimmy).
And the two I have now: Sullivan who is Little Bean (Sully-bean) and Elliot who is Little Moose (because Elliot Moose).
None of these are crazy silly I guess but I hadn’t realized before that I tend to give cats matching nicknames.
I also have a dog who is a beagle and his name is Sir Hodgley III. He doesn’t respond to any nicknames and there is great argument as to his real breed. He is not a real dog but a garden decoration, but I know in my heart of hearts that Sir Hodgley III is a beagle.
“Stupid baby puppy” affectionately for my almost six year old puggle and his signature blank, unoccupied stare.
