A follow up from my older asklemmy post, saying goodbye to a teacher who helped me a lot through my stuff, was thinking maybe chocolate, but one of the dudes said that it’s not a very good idea, I was thinking maybe a perfume/cologne? What do you guys suggest? She is in probably in her early 20s if it helps, and I am in senior high, damn this is getting weirder and weirder, I just want to run away lol
Gift certificate. That’s something that can NEVER be mistaken for romance.
Chocolate is better than perfume for sure! But personally, I feel that it really doesn’t matter. It’s more about the way you give it and what you say /write along with the gift. Not knowing about anything that had gone on, I wouldn’t be worried about it being misunderstood
Coffee or tea
Suggestions here getting weirder and weirder ಠ_ಠ
Bruh, coffee or tea is way better and more appropriate than perfume. Think about it, if you gift a set of nice teabags, it’s a nice pick-me-up for your teacher to enjoy between classes
Perfume definitely seems worse, I have actually given some to my male teachers when I was younger and dumber lol so I thought this would work, coffee/tea seems kinda weird tbh, but I frankly have no idea anymore 🤷🏼♂️
I’m telling you man. Homemade cookies.
I gotta then learn how to make great cookies within a week ¯_(ツ)_/¯, I am considering 3 options rn
- Gift card (Seems the most appropriate, but idk if physical ones still exist where I live)
- Chocolate (Easiest to get)
- Muffins (Seems to be the overall best, but it would kinda be a hassle)
Gonna think about this tmrw, I am tired AF RN, finals approaching and it somewhat sucks
Bro, lose the chocolate. It will be your downfall.
- Muffins (Seems to be the overall best, but it would kinda be a hassle)
The hassle is what makes it a good gift. Just sayin. Worry about finals more than stressing about what to get her. 🙂
Coffee and tea are so much more normal than perfume or chocolate that I can’t even. I’ve gotten coffee from a coworker before, and appreciated it. I could imagine giving tea to one if I knew they liked that. It’s safe, professional, and a crowd pleaser.
I wouldn’t even hazard a gift of perfume to my wife without some careful research first—too many ways it can be construed as “you smell” unless there is some sort of precedent such as knowing what she already wears.
This post has been gold. Thanks for sharing your struggles with us.
I have a feeling that I am even worse than ‘naive’ when it comes to this sort of stuff, thank god I decided to ask here before doing something stupid, but then again there was no other option anyway
A basic rule for professional gifts is to avoid anything that goes on the body, or anything with an effect that could be construed as “sensual”. By sensual I mean overly enticing to the senses—such as chocolate, perfume, or silk. It implies that you are seeking to make their body feel something, and as you get older, that is often equated with eroticism. Looking at commercials for the product helps too—chocolate commercials equate chocolate with sex almost every time.
People can be picky about food, or may have intolerances, so that is risky. Coffee and tea are associated with productivity, which is why they are professional to give.
If you have any female friends, they can be a helpful guide when trying to navigate how another woman might react to something. Good luck soldier! It’s hard out there.
We had a wonderful English teacher in our college. And on the last day many students gave her some gifts. If I remember correctly, we gave a small bamboo plant that sits on a table, some squishy smiley balls aka stress balls, a custom printed tshirt, a book, and maybe a mug too.
I don’t think you have to worry too much. A classic gift of a vibrator should probably get your point across and not get misinterpreted.
(Sorry, I had to, I know I’m dumb)
A fountain pen or a nice moleskin notebook with a note saying how her lessons will help you in your future life.
I think a perfume is too personal and might come out as a romantic gesture (and difficult to choose if you don’t know what she likes anyway).
A nice fountain pen seems like a good idea, Thanks!
As a fountain pen user, I would suggest against that unless you know it suits her personality. Fountains pens require maintenance, and certainly it’s easy maintenance, but it’s definitely more work than a ballpoint. They are a hobby, and if it’s is not her thing, she’ll never use it.
I would instead recommend a nice ballpoint pen set where the ink can be replaced when empty. Something she can use without having to think about or maintaining it.
Tbh I am kinda thinking of somehow giving some muffins, maybe go to school early, like ppl said, teachers have a lot of clutter so pen might not be the best choice
Speaking as a teacher here: do not buy any teacher anything, as in NOTHING.
I would be super weirded out if a student gave me something.
We had a student of more years than most, present the teacher’s lounge with a chocolate basket once, and everyone thought it was strange. So presenting a teacher with a personal gift would be even stranger.
But if you insist on getting her a gift, perfume would be up there with lingerie and jewelry … WTF dude?
what should you do? how about you decide what it is that you want to say. Like “you did so and so, that meant a lot for me because of so and so”.
- Figure out what to say
- make sure you don’t spend more than 30 or 45 seconds to say it.
Idk but judging from the username, maybe this kind of culture is there in nordic countries? Idk but here students give gifts all the time on teachers day, I just don’t know what is in those boxes lol, as I never attend these kind of events, and idk if ppl give them outside of these events
I teach younger ages but my favourite things are cards or artwork that the kids have made. I find the intention and effort behind them most rewarding.
Other than that I don’t mind a good gift card.
Hate chocolate and mugs, I have so much uneaten chocolate and so many mugs I don’t use. But I’m not a big chocolate person anyway, so my preference there may not match others.
If she’s still young like you said, she probably hasn’t gotten that many notes of appreciation so for sure add one along with whatever you give as the emotional support they provide gets you through shit days knowing that your sacrifice is valued.
But I’m not a big chocolate person anyway
Well I should fuckin hope not!
In my culture It’d be the other way around. Perfume could be romantic or mean ‘you smell’. Chocolade, self-made cake of muffins would be alright. Or something individual, a drawing if you can do it, a nice 3d print or whatever creative hobbies you have. Yeah and somebody said a book. Lots of teachers like to read, and you know what stuff they’re interested in… It’s probably what they chose to teach. Or just say thank you, you helped me a lot and influenced my life for the better… You could also instead write it down on a nice card.
One thing I haven’t seen yet: if you can, loop your parent(s) in on this. They know the situation better than the Internet does, and if someone tries to turn the situation into something weird, they should have your back. And they’ve got some life experience to help you with your note.
Damn, that’s good advice.
However the sarcastic side of me is looking forward to the next post in a months time when they ignored this, etc…
“How do I propose to my old teacher?” And so on
I hope to god this never happens but that would be hilarious ngl
a genuine card and a gift card to a nice restaurant. or maybe a wine voucher
flowers
romantic
a pineapple. Can never be seen as romantic.
Unless you are into swinging. Then it’s very inappropriate
Never say never. I’d go on a date for pineapple
As a teacher, just a letter or card saying how they impacted you is enough.
Not a teacher (but I work with people that sometimes want to give me gifts when we say goodbye) and I agree, card or a letter is great!
Either that or something I can share with my colleagues (chocolate, assorted sweets).
Fellow teacher here, I concur. I’ve never gotten a physical gift from a student, and I don’t think I’d be comfortable with it.
A card would be weird too, but better by several powers of magnitude than an actual gift. And perfume? WTF my dude?
“There’s no way perfume could be construed as romantic!”
I have gifted teachers Cognac before. Some decent bottle of liquor if they’re into that is fine. But early 20s might not be the target audience for brown spirits.
Make sure they’re not alcoholic or a recovering one.
As a teacher, I treasure all of the heart-felt notes and letters students have left me over the years. If you want to give something that shows them how important they are to you, write them a letter.
SOURCE!
Edit: I guess I should clarify. I’m saying that this is the ultimate source as an answer to this question. I’m not ordering this person to cite a source. Sorry for the interruption.
