I’m Australian so obviously a black mamba. Dealing with more venomous snakes than that in your house and property is just how you grow up, even in outter suburbs of metro areas.
Not Australian but we used to get snakes in our house. Usually just bull snakes which aren’t venomous. One time though there was a diamond back rattle snake that got behind my bed, did not like waking up like that.
I gotta ask why‽ Not to disliking a snake wake up but why were they there? Was your house built on an Native burial grounds?
Plus the gorillas in Australia are venomous anyway.
That tracks.
Almost half as venomous as the Liberal Party politicians, even!
Silverback, because once you take him to Cinnabon it’s all good!
You can control snakes under normal circumstances. A gorilla is out of the fucking question 🦍🦍
Gorilla might come at you because fuck you. Mamba is scared shitless of you.
They may be, but it’s still terrifying to find out one was sleeping in your bed springs after you found one on your windowsill the night before.
I feel like the same is true of a gorilla though.
There are hidden hallways behind the shops, if you can get back there the gorilla won’t ever find you. Hell go to the elevator or a bathroom and just chill for a day.
Gorillas are some sneaky motherfuckers. That’s the first place they’ll hide waiting for you.
They’re not drop bears!
A gorilla is just five five drop bears in a fucking trench coat and you can’t prove me wrong.
Stop at the CinnaBon first then. Throw a roll and run away.
That’s terrible! You just don’t mess with a person’s sweetroll…
Decoy roll.
Yeah, just stay out in the open away from places a snake might hide so that you don’t accidentally scare one, and the Mambas should be fine.
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12mph is coincidentally the speed my bowels would empty if I saw a black mamba coming at me at that speed.
Amateur, I can make my bowels empty faster than 12 mph in recreational settings.
oh its mamba time. for sure.
Mambas numbering five…
Ah 1, 2, 3-4-5…
I hope you’re proud of yourself. 🤣
Me and 24 gorilla pals going to Auntie Annie’s after a movie then looking through GameStop.
Actually yeah, gorilla and have him smash into the GameStop for you… The perfect heist
Black mambas for sure. I just keave them alone and fuck off into some corner
Well I mean would be cool to be friends with them
I’ve met snakes and they were not too scary and patient if you don’t touch them.
While primates I see every day are much more dangerous, and this one also is too strong and dumb to mess with.
Still, with the gorilla I’ll at least be able to realize that I’m going to be dead before I’m dead, but still breathing.
With such a snake that’s very much not certain.
So not sure, I’d throw a coin.
EDIT: Survival-wise I’d choose snakes, if that’s not clear.
The gorilla scenario is why I keep a pair of sunglasses on me at all times
All the people who are not choosing to chill with a usually calm intelligent mammal because “snakes will get out of your way” apparently don’t know shit about black mambas:
Skittish and often unpredictable, the black mamba is agile and can move quickly. In the wild, black mambas seldom tolerate humans approaching more closely than about 40 metres (130 ft)
When confronted, it is likely to engage in a threat display
During the threat display, any sudden movement by the intruder may provoke the snake into performing a series of rapid strikes, leading to severe envenomation
Give me a big strong dude intelligent enough to leave you alone after you’re demonstrated that you’re not a threat any day!
Yup, I’d feel much safer with a gorilla. But I’m stupid enough to try to befriend him with fruits lol
As long as you’re careful about displaying submissive body language and not getting too close, the worst thing that could happen is probably that he gets to snack on fruit and ignores you 🤷
Probably have to REALLY know what you’re doing though lol
Malls have food, I’d be that gorillas personal chef for 24 hours
That was my thought. Me and my new best friend are going to learn to make pretzels! Together!
Turns out the prompt wasn’t for a survival horror but a buddy movie
Couldn’t you just like go in an upstairs bathroom and just lock the door?
Maybe, but that would work with the Silverback too 🤷
Regardless, 24 hours locked in a bathroom could be its own kind of hell tbh…
Meh that isn’t too far away from my life most days. Except I don’t have to wash dishes.
The snakes could go down the drain of a toilet in the other restroom, and come out inside your restroom.
I am sick of these mother fucking snakes in the mother fucking bathroom
I’m an tired of these mother fucking mambas in this mother fucking mall
I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MOTHERFUCKING SNAKES IN THIS MOTHERFUCKING BATHROOM
Just lock yourself in. Try finding a door that can withstand a gorilla tho.
That’s true. I read gorillas require that you invite them in. Also they’re afraid of crosses and holy water.
Nah, that’s lawyers you’re thinking of. Gorillas are the ones who howl at the moon and have been observed by Warren Zevon casually strolling around all over London.
Try finding a door that can withstand a gorilla tho
The gorilla won’t even care that you’re there as long as you don’t get too close and act too aggressively. It’s definitely not going to hunt you down and break down the door to get to you unless its family is in there too or something like that.
Also, as I pointed out to the other one, being locked in a bathroom for 24 hours is its own kind of hell for some of us.
Besides, one of the snakes might be hiding in that bathroom and you won’t know until it’s too late. Silverback gorillas, on the other hand, are not known for stealth.
From the same Wikipedia article:
The black mamba’s reputation for being ready to attack is exaggerated; it is usually provoked by perceived threats such as the blocking of its movements and ability to retreat.
Despite its reputation as a formidable and highly aggressive species, the black mamba attacks humans only if it is threatened or cornered.
Good thing there’s no corners or enclosed areas in malls
Gorillas are terrifying. Reptiles are just not. I could just hide in a bathroom and mind my own business. I pick the mambas
Imagine sitting in a bathroom stall, with a gorilla pounding full force on the door, you just waiting for it to break, knowing full well that you will be crushed soon.
Nope nope nope nope nope nope nope nope. Nope.
Unless I had a gun I pick the mambas. Even then I would want some powerful ammunition.
I’d take the snakes. If you can find the thermostat you can turn it way down and immobilize the snakes.
Silverback. Yeah mambas should be scared and stay away, but one crazy one and you can’t hide anywhere. With the gorilla I just need to stay somewhere closed off, like on top of an elevator car. But also silverbacks understand conciliatory gestures. If you’re submissive they won’t attack you. Literally the opposite of a black bear encounter. Make yourself small, look away, and slowly move away.
If the both animals are angry I feel like you can just loot some food and drinks then lock yourself into a freezer or something (ofc you turn it off first).
I dont know how realistic this is but I kinda expect a gorilla to be able to smash the freezer door but no way a snake is getting in or 5 for that matter
I live in the frozen wasteland. If he’s to the REI for some warm gear. Turn off the heat and let the snakes go lethargic.
Then return the clothes the next day.
loot some food and drinks then lock yourself into a freezer or something
If its just 24 hours, just get some powerbanks for your phone and something to collect any pee/poo you have to release. Food/water just means more waste to deal with.
Or head to the lingerie store and seduce the gorilla.
Why waste a nice night away from home eh
Ah, the Bugs Bunny approach… worst case scenario you get flattened and walk away with funny sound effects.
Ok so if i am going to answer this i wanna know what kind of weapons you would’ve ?
