I’d probably take the motorcycle at least and see if I can convert it to run on wood gas.
Oh that’s pretty clever actually…
Or alcohol. tw200 would be good on medieval paths.
The spices and the laser pointer? You can just pretend to be a spice trader and when needed, blind people to escape.
The dab pen and magic keyboard were tempting, but De. Wesker made a good point ab out witchcraft.
Motorcycle might be cool because you can melt it down or disassemble it once you run out of fuel.
Another important question is Medieval times where?
Motorcycle can run off distilled alcohol if you’re crafty.
I think no one around here realizes how fucking insane a 5 W laser pointer is, it’s not blinding people level, it’s more like, don’t shine it at anything white or you might blind yourself level.
For reference the highest laser security classification starts at 0.5 W.
Maybe I’m exaggerating here but 5 W is definitely a lot.
So yeah, I’m down with the laser pointer.
That’s a good point. If it’s strong enough to start a fire, that’s serious power. The only issue is running out of battery power.
Another important question is Medieval times where?
That’s why you pick the motorcycle.
Medieval times aren’t exactly known for their paved roads.
Still makes a big difference. China? Bottle rockets are just like ok, you have some bottle rockets. India? Spices are just okay, you have some spices. India might appreciate the keyboard more than Europeans, like “nice, a versatile harmonium!” vs “OMG Satan” like you might get in Europe. North America and you might be able to convince a tribe that you’re a shaman with Super Mushrooms using the LSD.
The motorcycle had better be a dirt bike or it’s not going to be of much use except maybe in China or where there were vestiges of Roman roads.
Sorry, I just think the moog and the motorcycle are the correct answer no matter what. Everything else was just distractors for petty minds.
the firearm and bullets have distinct utility.
If you wanna be a dick I guess. Unlikely most of us would last long there but if I could get a carving of me riding with my hair in the wind and a moog strapped to my back and some folklore that lasted for centuries, that would be worth it.
Hunting and self defense is not about being a dick.
As far as wanting to go down in history, not sure how that helps you after your demise.
Hunting is about being a dick though.
Dallas, TX
You could sell the spices for a lot of money.
This would be my plan. I’d take the casio watch because fuck yeah. Otherwise I’m taking a spice rack full of Saffron and becoming a lord.
Everything else would get you burned as a witch.
Hell yes, the Moog and the Casio. Idk what my plan is but it’ll be an adventure
The Casio with a new battery is sure to last 3 years. I’d definitely take that. Not sure how usable the synth ffs be
I wish it was one of those solar powered calculators.
Spices and the bic/rockets. Spices for trading and light to light alone is going to help barter and survive but the rockets for defence
Thing with the spices is that medieval spices were much more varied than the few commonly available today - many are now out of fashion (cubebs, long pepper, though that is gaining traction, grains of paradise etc.).
I suspect the reason many have dropped out of use is down to suppliers not really wanting to bother and the similarities in flavour profile mean the the common ones are good/close enough.
The medieval cook would, however, be fascinated by the containers - screw top and air tight. If you could work out a way of making those…
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Because no one would just steal them from the unarmed weird looking stranger
Casio Watch is going to be too advanced to figure out for back then. The motorcycle is the better one - Kickstarting the industrial revolution many centuries sooner would do wonders
They Synth and the Warheads. I’m sure the Warheads alone are flavorful enough to convince any Medieval person that I am a God (or or the Devil, lmao), but the sick beats from the synth would seal the deal. (Once I learn how to play)
dab pen all i need baby
Might be able to use the uranium to heat water for a steam turbine generator.
Steam turbine generator is not an easy task to make with medieval technology
Sure, but someone else was wanting to use the motorcycle engine as a generator. I feel like this is more practical since you don’t need to figure out how to get more fuel. Not that I have any idea what to do with a generator in that time period either way.
With a diesel engine you could fuel it with biodiesel made from cooking oil, sodium hydroxide(an impure solution likely sufficient for our purposes could be obtained from wood ash, this was normally used in soap making) and methanol(obtainable by distillation and used as early as ancient egypt)
Also certain non diesel engines can run on ethanol, including some motorcycles made for brasilian market that can run on E100 that is 94.7% ethanol (rest is water) so fuel for that engine could be distilled with medieval technology
You can use a windmill, waterwheel, or animals to turn a generator. The real problem would be getting a magnet and enough purified copper. Most people do not realize how complicated and interdependent our society is. No person is an island and no invention is either.
Some dude in India made one to spin his shawarma in like 400 ad wtf u talking about
power requirements of spinning a shawarma and doing useful work is quite different. Would be very interested to learn more about this ancient indian steam engine if you gave some links. But if it’s anything like the ancient greek aeolipile that has real world measured efficiency of as low as 0.0128 (theoretically 1%), it isnt really useful
I’m gonna take the warheads and the LSD and blow some random farmer’s mind.
“He’s freaking out!”
Ask for the gun and the bullets.
Before I’m sent back, shoot the time travel master (nerd!) in the head. Shoot their attendants, too (nerds! nerds!).
Grab all the other options, and load them in the time travel car. VERY IMPORTANT: the Moog will be playing the Knight Rider Theme until further notice.
Time travel back to the Vatican, Apostolic Palace. Driving the motorcycle up to The Pope, I do a jump that involves me turning upside-down OVER the Pope, during which I look down, shove the LSD down the Pope’s throat, and then do an Akira-slide right in front of him.
In fluent Latin, I explain to the Pope that I am a messenger from God who has been sent to deliver a Mighty Revelation. For the next several hours I use all the other options I brought back to astound and amuse The Pope during the LSD trip. During this phase of the experience, the Moog will be playing selections from Pink Floyd, focusing on music from Dark Side and before. The key message of The Revelation is that I am an agent of God to be protected and revered.
After the Pope comes down, I scope out the Vatican’s Cardinals. (The Moog will be playing Guile’s Theme during this phase.) The spices are covertly swapped for hashish and opiates, which I use along with the Warheads candy to bring mini-Revelations to those Cardinals who seem friendly. Those Cardinals who seem hostile to me, are fed bits of the Uranium. I am declared a Cardinal. When the time is right, The Pope is also fed bits of Uranium.
After the Pope dies, a conclave is convened in the Sistine Chapel to select the next Pope. The Moog will be playing Objection from Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney (2001) during this phase. As a Cardinal, I attend, and will use the motorcycle to pop wheelies and do donuts until I am elected.
When I first appear on the Papal balcony, to be revered for the rest of my life as an infallible being whose words must be obeyed without hesitation, the Moog will be playing the instrumental version of We are Number One from Lazy Town, and I will be doing an appropriate dance.
That moog isn’t a fucking iTunes playlist, it’s a musical instrument that needs a real person to play it so your entire plan is completely shot.
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The moog is “magic - works without amp or outlet” so it is magic. (Given.)
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Therefore the moog is AI, since magic and AI are indistinguishable. (Lemma: “Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.” -Clarke. The exact workings of contemporary “AI” neural networks are insufficiently understood, therefore indistinguishable from magic.)
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Because the moog is AI, I can talk to it like ChatGPT, I just have the wrong keyboard.
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Use the keyboard like this: first key is “A”, second key is “B”, etc. Type out some sentences until the AI figures out the pattern. I have plenty of time to do so, since I have a time machine.
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Use the keyboard to chat with the moog to tell it what I want it to play.
Problem?
yes there’s a problem, its only magic is that is works without an amp or outlet. none of the other things you’ve listed are implied or remotely plausible.
I was using a specialized form of argumentation which I thought befitting this community. Here are the details: https://knowyourmeme.com/memes/troll-science-troll-physics
Was this the right decision? Perchance.
Absolute madman 👏
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I would read this comic book.
Just hope your time machine doesn’t deposit you off during the Western Catholic Schism or else you’ll have to repeat this multiple times with multiple popes.
Or maybe this is how the Western Schism is avoided in the first place. The Lord works in mysterious ways…
What a fucking ride. I had all the tracks on background play in pipepipe. Incredible.
I had the same idea for the items.
Pick gun and the bullets.
But instead my plan was to shoot myself.My plan was to take the dab pens and the moog, assuming it could be used as a backup battery to the pens. And then just plan to hang myself when confronted with the inevitability of sobriety.
Hey y’all no need for that! Meet up with me in the year 1214, and Pope Rolando will set you up as Archbishops somewhere. We can even go on convenience store runs in my time machine!
Everyone taking this challenge is invited. All your sins will be forgiven!
What about the other items? Bottle rockets off the papalcony for sure. Dab pen for office duties after I think.
The laser pen would also be a mind blower during the high times.
This is the best comment I have seen on Lemmy. You are a genius.
I’ll take the uranium. It doesn’t matter what I blow up with it, the butterfly effect will mean the rest of the world is changed forever. Because fuck you, you should’ve asked before sending people to the medieval era.
How would you blow it up? Do you have the technical knowledge to actually do anything with it?
I would hit it really hard with a sledgehammer. It worked for Mr Burns’ father
That’d not how it works
Because that’s how time travel works too
Ruin all that precious pre-1945 steel.
Spices - You can become wealthy as HELL, and your modern day clothes can easily make you seem like some foreign merchant, so can get you people interested. You DO need to sell those spices fast, however, else you WILL get robbed
Motorcycle - As others have said, you can get it to run on grain alcohol once out of gas, but that’s not the real prize with it. The real prize is using your new found wealth to get smiths to make more engines, using that as a blueprint, and essentially kick starting the industrial revolution. Mind, this IS going to be used for war, so prepare to become a war mongul
A gun and an interpreter.
Spices. Twice. You can keep the rest.
For most of the middle ages lords kept their spices in a strongbox and locked it away with their gold and jewels because some of the spices were literally worth their weight in gold.
The big problem is that you couldn’t just rock up to the local lord and ask him if he wanted to buy your spices. First, he probably wouldn’t be able to afford them all. Second, depending on the time period merchant’s guilds (like the Grocers in London) controlled who could trade spices. Third, you’d raise a lot of questions not speaking the language and carrying enormous wealth - a good way to get robbed and/or locked up
That being said, if managed carefully those spices could be sold piecemeal to avoid arousing suspicion of any of the established merchants, then that money could go towards buying a house in and shop in town and establishing a permanent business. That is probably the best outcome you could ask for.
The moment I saw the spice rack I knew I could just find the most useful/valuable spices and get as much of those as possible.
Everything else runs out pretty much instantly or isn’t useful ever.
