Is there a way to figure out if they blocked youon Signal if you can still technically message them?
Edit: he seems to have blocked me or hasn’t used Signal since a single emphatically non-controversial/non-hurtful comment so he either blocked me or hasn’t opened Signal for >month. He’s not responding to anything else either so he’s either depressed or blocked+done with me.
Edit: I’ll know when it comes birthday time. I’m not a Bridezilla about birthdays but it would be unusual for him to not wish me one. He’s never not done so. I’ll have my answer when that happens 🙏 (namaste) If he wants to be a dick about it and leave me in the dark totally those days are fortunatley numbered :/
Edit: we’re white and very (North)-American.
Not getting an answer is an answer. I wouldn’t insist on contacting them.
For me it was that my friend just took one too many opportunities to twist a knife in my gut, and I realized he was only pretending to be my friend in order to hurt me.
Can you talk more about that? I dont think thats the case here but you’ve got me curious?
They’ve suddenly landed in a really controlling environment (be it a partner, parents, or a government), and wish to hide your relationship/keep you out of the crosshairs.
Do you think thats honestly plausible? I know we left off genuinely ok and just nothing
It’s likely in some cultural groups - and has been true for a friend or two of mine. A particular example was someone going to a Psych ward, where their phone was kept in a vault. Obviously you know more context than me. But the probability is nonzero.
I once ghosted a friend of some fifteen years after a friend of nearly twenty years told me he had raped her a few years prior.
I’m not sure I believe it (there was alcohol involved and he’s a super kind person, so my suspicion is that she regretted it and saw it as rape because they were both drunk), but I believe she believes it and she is my number one.
Not saying you raped anybody. Just giving an example of a reason.
Definitely not
If suddenly they ghost you then they aren’t a real good friend, good friends make clear if there is any problem and generally it get solved.
Just as a tip: real good friends are counted with the fingers of one hand, they are very rare and unconditional in life.
Whenever I “ghost” someone, it’s usually because the friendship isn’t working for me, or it didn’t turn out to be what I thought it was. I put “ghost” in quotes because I don’t really block people, I’ll just stop initiating and then put the onus on them to maintain the relationship for a bit until I feel better about it.
So far, none of them have really cared enough to pick up the slack, so blocking them wasn’t really necessary. Good moves on my part I guess.
Thats not ghosting tho. Ghosting is when you basically shadowban someone from your recognition or communication and do nothing (or worse, blocking them without a way to touch base one last time) to establish why or how to make it up to them if you both consider it worth saving or at bare minimum to clarify what went wrong. Maybe not everyone shares my believe in the value of a friendship exit interview but if I give a shit about them I wouldn’t want them to be blind to what screwed it for me.
Thats interesting. Definitely my approach on recognizing birthdays and anniversaries because I strongly believe if you 365 dates to recognize youmre basically gonna be doing that every day and I dont relish that burden
It doesnt matter if they blocked you or not. If theyre not talking to you theyre not talking to you.
Ur so right :( O well
For me it was a sharp decline in mental health.
First thought is some really intense mental health stuff
How so? Please elaborate, altho i recgnize it was a bit emotional. I had a decent sleep and I’m over it sorta
Perhaps they ran out of social energy and decided they need time alone. It happens. I would reach out once or twice just to check and then give it a rest for a long while, to not stress them out. If it’s depression, it can last a very, very long time.
Ya, sadly I know this all to well but unsadly its less a thing for me these days :/
Have you tried getting a second friend to see if they can contact them?
Ya, I just gotta let it be for a while. If they were mine they’ll come back to me, if they dont, they were never mine to begin with 😭
I refuse to give them that satisfaction if thats the case. I dont chase people who make it difficult to chase them
We always come back to each other though.
Thats chicks but we’re male. Not sure if that changes the calculus
I’m female tho
So when I said thats chicks, that implied my understanding that the two of you were women.
I’m saying I believe as males its different
Oh. Sorry, read that wrong.
Not really any different for men.
I think guys can have more pride + shame involved. Thats absolutley a defect of our gender. I dont want to get into sexist stereotypes but its often different as males
This sucks, I know. I just responded to a friend’s message from two months ago, and I’ve felt bad about not responding since then. But life happens, and for me at least it had nothing to do about that friends behaviour.
You’ve given me one iota of hope
i just don’t understand. We left off positively.
I noticed for the sending receipts they used to show two checkmarks but now just one :(
I checked message info and one moment they say delivered , the next message it only registers as sent
This behavior kind of feels borderline neurotic. I’d just give them some space, and try not to hyperfixate.
Honestly, dude, im leaving it be. Nothing actively done. This is my best friend I thougt I had, please try tk stop being a dick, how can you not get why I woulnd’t be super distressed and invested in this
I literally have no choice in any case so please stop. I’m not asking for people to enable me, im just asking for understanding and…i dont effing no…good night everyone, i just dontknow anymore
Fwiw, as long as you’re not spamming them or anything I don’t think there’s anything neurotic here. There’s nothing wrong with being emotionally invested in a friendship, or being stressed out about signs it might have ended or changed.
At the same time, because I know nothing about you or your friend, I feel compelled to reference one of my favorite pieces of advice from a classic rock song: “hold on loosely, but don’t let go. If you cling too tightly, you might lose control.” Meaning holding on too tightly to someone might be off-putting whether them distancing themself was intentional or not. Your best bet might just be to demonstrate your independence as a person and wait to see what happens.
Oh I absolutey am cutting him loose as he’s done to me until he answers for it, we’re going on 3 months soon so that is unacceptable to not recognizing someone and preventing them from contacting them. At some point, there is only one explanation and at the end of the day, I feel my time is more valuable than ceding freely to someone who objectively makes it impossible to touch base with em and letting me waste more time finding out what the deal is.
Even then, if he wants to be balding baby about it, he’s probably out anyway. I’ve grown tired of (t)his bullshit
Sorry.
One tick means sent, two means delivered.
There are a lot of reasons you might be seeing only one tick, but it does mean they’re not getting your messages.
I’ve wondered the same thing about my friend too, but we just saw each other a few days ago for the first time in nearly ten years and everything was fine, just like it always was, even though I missed him terribly in the meantime.
It’s hard staying in touch. If you have an email address for them, just reach out occasionally to let them know you’re thinking of them. They’ll be back in touch when they can. And if not, well, like you said it’s not worth getting upset over anyway, and there’s no shortage of things that are worth getting upset over to hold your attention!
Did he delete the app or block me tho?
Does blocking cause the one tix?
Yes, a single tick will be displayed if you are blocked.
Honestly, just leave it for now. If they don’t see your messages in a couple of days, ask a mutual friend or something. But for now, I don’t think it would be good to attempt further contact, or worry about it too much.
Also only if it was sent but they havent opened app yet. A family member i know would never block me hasnt opened one yet :)
I use signal a lot and sometimes people’s phones will stop signal from running in the background. This can cause the behaviour you’re seeing, as their phone wont receive the messages until they open the app manually
Its been objectively a long time tho
How long? A week? More?
Two months
Try to give them the benefit of the doubt and give them space. Tell yourself things like they may have had a death in the family, or their phone got stolen/broken. Try your best to focus on other things and take on something new and interesting. Use exercise to adjust your brain chemistry if your feelings are overpowering your logic to give them space.
If nothing serious has happened, you learned a valuable lesson about them, and know to maintain more distance.
Stay classy!
Do you think its over tho ;(
After a broken neck and back, and everything I’ve gone through in life, the most valuable lesson I can share is deceptively simple in thought but equally powerful in practice; only worry about the things you can change right now in this moment. Everything else is a waste of time and energy. Anxiety will get you nowhere. Relationships are brain chemistry too. They are addictions. They must be actively managed for your best health. If you are having trouble, go for a walk somewhere safe. The exercise will help get it off your mind.
This is great advice.
It could be. Unfortunately, all things come to an end. But as they say, “don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.”.
Maybe they lost their phone
I hope you’re right. My inverse thinking proclivity has got me assuming the worst always
