Or, alternatively, what did you do to another person which got you blacklisted from their life?

  • @Fisk400@lemmy.world
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    62 years ago

    Did the rest of the family not believe she said the things she said or were they fine with it? Calling someone a filthy towel head is pretty unambiguously racist and not in the old timey grandparent way either.

  • @theluckyone@lemmy.world
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    162 years ago

    My brother’s wife. During the start of the pandemic (six months in?), she threw a Facebook hissy fit, declaring COVID to be nothing more than a bad cold. She declared the real killers as gluten and 5G. She was vehemently against mandatory vaccination (much freedom!), but would turn around and use her next breath to demand the gov’t ban gluten from foods and the 5G rollout.

    Called her crazy and haven’t talked to her since.

  • @Lobohobo@lemmy.world
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    2 years ago

    I guess that person has to be my ex. We were together for a long time and were even planing a life together. We were expecting a child, which sadly ended in a stillbirth. Then by sheer coincidence I find out she has been texting some very questionable things to her “best friend” and her ex bf. Turns out she was fucking both of them while I was on cloud nine and thought we had something special. When I confronted her about it she talked about her not being able to continue without me, fully knowing I had a depressive and even suicidal past. When I packed my stuff she called the god damn cops and told them I hit her or some shit. Luckily enough they saw what was unfolding when they arrived and only talked to me for like an hour and let me go. I never talked to her again and cut her out of my life on the spot.

    After talking to my relatives and friends about her, they all told me they thought she was a psycho bitch but didn’t wanna ruin it. I stopped talking to all my “friends” from that time, and even my mother for a while, because I felt like they should have told me that I was making the biggest mistake of my life. I still do in fact.

    In retrospective I know now that it was one of the worst times of my life and I am lucky to have dodged that bullet. Though I needed therapy and a lot of time to leave all of that behind.

    • @cygnosis@lemmy.world
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      152 years ago

      Have you ever tried telling a friend that you didn’t like their partner and they should not be together? They are much more likely to get mad at you and stop talking with you than they are to leave their partner. Just search the advice columns on ‘how to tell a friend their partner is bad’. Every one is filled with comments like “I did that and they got mad at me”, or “we told her and she ignored us and keeps going back”. I’m not really surprised nobody intervened.

      I wonder if you were mostly angry at yourself for being in that situation. Maybe angry you could be so foolish or naive. Then you projected that anger onto your friends and family. Anyways, I’m glad you made it through that period.

  • @Jaarsh119@lemmy.world
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    822 years ago

    Long time friend turned out to be a sexist pos that was groping my female friends, but would only act this way when I had my back turned. I’m very glad my friends trust me enough to actually tell me what was happening. Am perfectly fine cutting that behaviour out of my life and my social circle.

    • @Today@lemmy.world
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      82 years ago

      This is so so so common. I guess we don’t call people out for it more because we don’t want to rock the boat with friend groups? Ass pats, leg squeezes, hugs that last a few seconds too long, …

    • @ikka@lemmy.sdf.org
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      22 years ago

      Am perfectly fine cutting that behaviour out of my life and my social circle.

      This sentence feels so performative and cringey, and yet it still must be said aloud because even my ex-friend still defends a similarly shitty guy with a well-documented pattern of abuse.

    • @ikka@lemmy.sdf.org
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      32 years ago

      Am perfectly fine cutting that behaviour out of my life and my social circle.

      This sentence feels so performative and cringey, and yet it still must be said aloud because even my ex-friend to this day defends a similarly shitty guy with a well-documented pattern of abuse.

  • HousePanther
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    152 years ago

    The person I had to cut out of my life kept pushing religion on me.

  • @linuxduck@nerdly.dev
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    2 years ago

    Family started to make fun of my pronouns. I’m just tired of people choosing to be cruel for cruel sake. So I deleted Facebook, essentially cutting them out.

    My mom refused to use pronouns and I’d given her 6 years to learn and grow, cut her out.

    In the past, a coworker on purpose set up a birthday for one of my best friends and didn’t invite me. They made up super weird reasons why I wasn’t invited. I realized he was manipulative… I cut him out…

    Another co-worker was a friend but then one day he wanted to start touching me. I don’t like being touched. I kept asking him to stop, he did it more. Til one day he pushed me into a cold case (we worked at a grocery store). I cut him out.

    Regardless of who I cut out though, there is ALWAYS room to come back if they change and grow up.

    I’m still hoping my mom will before she passes… : /

        • Maharashtra
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          -222 years ago

          I assure it isn’t.

          Family shouldn’t be treated like random strangers you meet online and have some minor disagreement with.

          And if you think otherwise, you deserve the same answer.

          • @dfc09@lemmy.world
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            122 years ago

            We don’t know the full story. I’d generally agree with you that family is more important than random strangers, and we should make more effort with family that we would with strangers. But that only goes so far, and the family members need to be making similar efforts, it can’t all be the children’s responsibility to retain good will while the parent routinely damages the relationship.

            The OP already said they’d given their mom 6 years, that’s clearly the “family” effect, they have their mother many many more chances than they would a stranger.

            I don’t know what your relationship looks like with your parents, hopefully it’s lovely, but once you’re an adult the power dynamic needs to change dramatically. My parents no longer control me and can’t tell me how to live my life. They can provide advice, which I generally cherish because they’re more experienced in life than me, but if they try to strongarm me into their choice like they did when I was their legal charge, I tell them “NO”

            • Maharashtra
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              -132 years ago

              We don’t know the full story. (…)

              I agree, and if it was explained in detail that the family is in the wrong here, I’d probably agree on the separation being the reasonable choice.

              But it wasn’t. It was presented in a childish, scornful “in yaaaaah faaaace” way, supported by exaggerated generalization along the lines of “all x who y should go f* themselves”. This is wrong. This is wrong on so many levels, that it’s actually painful to see how one could fall so low and act like it’s ok.

              I don’t know what your relationship looks like with your parents, hopefully it’s lovely, but once you’re an adult the power dynamic needs to change dramatically. (…)

              I recall Stalin’s Iron Wall. And am a father myself.

          • @Moonguide@lemmy.world
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            202 years ago

            OP didn’t cut off her mum because of her identity, they did so because their mum didn’t respect them or their wishes. Have a good day, dude, you’re a lost cause.

            • Maharashtra
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              -212 years ago

              The dude cut off his closest family, because they didn’t fullfill his wish and it’s correct.

              Do you even give some thought to what you’re writing?

              Have a good day, dude, you’re a lost cause.

              That’s precisely how the guy chose to act, yes.

            • OctopusKurwa
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              22 years ago

              I don’t think you should be telling children to take psilocybin.

            • Maharashtra
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              -212 years ago

              Thank you, Gregory House. Your professional diagnosis is appreciated and will be taken into account.

              Any specific shrooms you’re suggesting, since they work so well for you?

  • Maharashtra
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    -222 years ago

    I constantly block people on the Internet based on the content they deliver, how they answer, whether they are logical and polite, or leap straight to manipulations, lies and insults.

    Some think it’s a radical approach, but I don’t see it that way. For all its capabilities, the Internet isn’t real and neither are the relationships we have with people on numerous sites that form its social aspect. Thus, there’s really little logic in giving people second chances, wasting time, attention and effort for them, trying to get through their attitudes and suffering to reach “real” them.

    It’s like “you have the chance to be polite and reasonable - resign from this chance, and I’m gonna resign from you”.

    • @ikka@lemmy.sdf.org
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      32 years ago

      Some think it’s a radical approach, but I don’t see it that way. For all its capabilities, the Internet isn’t real and neither are the relationships we have with people on numerous sites that form its social aspect. Thus, there’s really little logic in giving people second chances, wasting time, attention and effort for them, trying to get through their attitudes and suffering to reach “real” them.

      You’re absolutely correct.

      I think that saying that someone “failed at life” is a bit stupid because, they would do exactly what you recommend in your own comment; they would give friends & family a second chance:

      Regardless of who I cut out though, there is ALWAYS room to come back if they change and grow up.

      I’m still hoping my mom will before she passes… : /

      Maybe you see things differently, but perhaps there is something more interesting and constructive you could say than: “You both failed at life.”

      Of course, arguing online is pretty fun… haha! :)

      • Maharashtra
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        2 years ago

        Maybe you see things differently, but perhaps there is something more interesting and constructive you could say than: “You both failed at life.”

        I certainly see things differently. I see a person who wastes time in the Internet instead of trying to fix what absolutely should be fixed - it’s not that we have all the time in the world to make things right. Look at the part you quoted - “before she passes”. The guy realizes that the mother may die, but still, talking crap on the Internet seems to him like the better choice to spend the precious time left on.

        For me, selecting Internet upvotes, virtual handshakes and high fives by random, anonymous nobodes, over family is certainly within the definition of “failed at life”, and I’d sooner bite my own tongue off rather than approach such a person with “interesting and constructive” words.

        Of course, arguing online is pretty fun…

        Definitely! 🧐

        • Jerkface (any/all)
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          2 years ago

          What do you do about those people who have spent a lifetime crafting how to best piss in someone’s face while still superficially appearing reasonable and polite? Myself, I tell them to go eat a fuck. They’re not as clever or nearly as decent as they work so hard to believe. It’s just a device that allows them to feel superior and discount others. That’s why it’s so loved by narcissists.

          • Maharashtra
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            -52 years ago

            Family, friends are special people in our lives and so they get special treatment. They aren’t just any people you can throw away, sever ties with and block. If the relationship between you evolved into ping-pong of requests and demands, it’s unhealthy relationship and you need to put the effort and at least try to make it work. It works both way - the same is expected of them.

            You may fail at that, they may fail at that, you all mail fail, unfortunately, but this is in no way the reason to feel good about it, no “victory”, no “yay!” achievement.

            To see people announcing in public that they got rid of their closest family because they “didn’t respect my pronouns”, said in a scornful tone… No. This is wrong. It’s a clear indication of a flawed life.

            You may think otherwise, you may disagree - I have no problem with that, feel free to go about your way, while clicking “block user”. But don’t argue with me that I am wrong about my thinking, because there are no arguments that will change my opinion on this topic.

            • @HappySashimi@lemmy.world
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              02 years ago

              Surely you must see that each case is nuanced and having a blanket statement for everyone is just naive? Saying “you must work hard at your family relationships simply because they are family” is just as generalized as “you have the agency to block out family members when they wrong you.”

              The world is shades of grey and having a staunch, polarized opinion is limiting oneself.

              • Maharashtra
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                12 years ago

                Surely you must see that each case is nuanced

                I am well aware of that.

                But I’m also aware of the fact that everyone has enough time to present their story in the Internet with all the nuances included. Nobody in the Internet is obliged to be a telepath - the correct framing of the story is its author’s responsibility. If they choose to be scornful towards their own family with “they didn’t accept my pronouns” as the only argument, then they deserve as much scorn too.

      • @Dark_Blade@lemmy.world
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        2 years ago

        Sometimes, you gotta step back and look at all the long-ass comment chain you spent arguing with that one idiot who just won’t accept any logic you throw their way, and wonder whether or not your time would be better spent if you just never had to see their ignorant nonsense ever again.

  • @Azzu@lemm.ee
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    432 years ago

    Me and my best friend of 10 years still talked regularly, but kept spending less time together. We talked about relationships a lot and basically both agreed that marriage is not really necessary for a successful relationship and that marrying is too easy to be dangerous in the sense that if it doesn’t work out, you’re likely going to be paying for the other person’s lifestyle for no reason whatsoever.

    Apparently we didn’t though, because at one point he came out with that he has been seeing a girl the last few weeks and is going to marry her in a few weeks. I and the rest of his friends were like “um, we’re happy for you, but are you sure you know who this person is and that you literally want to spend the rest of your life with her? It’s only been a few weeks since you met her”.

    He didn’t answer and blocked us all and completely disappeared. Last I heard they did have the wedding a few weeks later, dunno what happened after that. It was his first girlfriend ever, btw.

    • squiblet
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      12 years ago

      I agree. Marriage is pretty pointless - if you want to be with someone, go ahead. People shouldn’t need legal or religious contracts to do that. This has been an unpopular opinion with people I’ve been relationships with, but “let’s get married for tax benefits” isn’t very romantic.

  • circuitfarmer
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    202 years ago

    Sexually assaulted someone very close to me.

    Then also later finding out it had also happened to other people. Disgusting, despicable person who is a drain on society, and I’m extremely happy they are out of my life and, much more importantly, the lives of those more directly harmed.

  • @Varyk@sh.itjust.works
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    112 years ago

    In college, I had bought this used bicycle worth substantially more for 50 bucks. I was really happy with it and rode it every day… My roommate, who up until this incident was becoming a very good friend, told his friend visiting our dorm while I wasn’t in the room, that he could take my bike. That other guy never returned my bike, and my roommate kept insisting that it wasn’t a big deal since I got the bike for $50.

    I stopped talking to him after that for the rest of the semester unless it was to remind him to get my bike back or pay me back. Which, of course, never happened.

  • myxi
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    2 years ago

    They did the silent treatment on me for a long time.

  • @thorbot@lemmy.world
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    52 years ago

    Only reaches out when they want a hookup for weed, and once they find another source they ghost me. Even though we went to HS together and he says he’s my friend. Fuck that guy