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My Grandfather- “I’m hungry enough to eat the ass out of a skunk”
is your grandfather the angry video game nerd by any chance?
Lol he probably died before that kid was born.
‘I’m so hungry I could crawl up a hogs ass and make me ham sandwich’
In Canada, I’ve heard (and used) that as “I’m hungry enough the eat the ass out of a freshly fucked moose”
I’m so hungry I’d eat the south end of a north facing horse.
"Busier than a three-peckered goat
I once heard someone say that something was scattered “all over hell and half of Georgia”. I use that all the time now.
These are great because it’s anyone’s guess what they actually mean.
Australia has some good ones too.
Are you busy? “flat out like a lizard drinking”
Should we start? “I’m not here to fuck spiders”
"going off like a gumtree on a gas line " was a common saying in our school, but I’m not sure how wide spread that one is, referring to how damn flammable they are.
I also love that “a bees dick” is a valid unit of measurement on most construction sites.
Are you busy? “flat out like a lizard drinking”
That lizard sounds both extremely busy, and also… not busy at all!
Southern Spain is also famous for sayings like these, some that come to my mind that I’ve heard from some friends:
“Hungrier than a snail on a glass” “Has less fat than a goat’s knee” “More leg than a box of shrimps” “This is harder than sweeping the floor upstairs”
Only like one of those makes any sense.
Why would a snail be more hungry on a glass surface than any other surface? Or for that matter, why is it hard to sweep the upper stories of the building than the ground floor?
It probably doesn’t translate over that well…
There isn’t anything for a snail to eat on a clean pane of glass, as opposed to a typical rock outside.
Goats don’t have fatty knees.
Shrimp have have many “legs”.
Yeah, upstairs it means sweeping the staircase upstairs direction
Somewhat related: https://arstechnica.com/science/2024/02/british-comedian-inspires-linguistic-study-of-slang-synonyms-for-getting-drunk/
British English has an inordinate number of slang terms for being drunk, and given the right context and intonation just about any phrase can be made to mean “drunk”
Pissed, hammered, spannered, rat-arsed, bollocksed, badgered, smashed, away with the fairies, banjaxed, tired and emotional, battered, can’t lie down without holding on, comfortably numb, drunk as a Lord/Judge, steaming, twatted, wasted, three sheets tut wind, lagered up, leathered, legless, pickled, off your tits/face/trolley, out yer tree, pissed as a fart, wellied, sayin hello to Mr Armitage, shit-faced, trollied, utterly carparked, etc, etc.
My favorite is when it’s raining “…like a cow pissing on a flat rock.”
I’ve always heard it said “raining like a tall cow peeing on a flat rock”
Cajun French is just bad French, but Cajun English is wild sometimes… “Mais, gotta make the groceries, me.”
When your car runs like ass: sounds like Satan spray-shitting hammers and nails into a sheet metal toilet
Just like a dick, there’s such a thing as too long to be worth it.
From above; sounds like 2 skeletons fuckin on a tin roof
this is Lemmy’s finest thread to date
My wife’s old dutch grandma once had a sip of beer and said “it’s like an angel pissing on my tongue”
Talking about how many children she had “your grandfather would throw his dirty undies at me and I’d get pregnant”
Grandma sounds like she could make a pirate blush :) I wanna be just like her when I grandma
Is angel piss supposed to be a good thing?
It’s up there with the eucharist. But carbonated I guess.
It’s just below goden shower in the hierarchy.
it’s like an angel pissing on my tongue
That is an old Dutch saying, I was gonna ask if she had Dutch heritage, but than I re read your post.
We have that one as well in Bavaria:
Als würd’ dir ein Engelein auf die Zunge bieseln.
One I learned in the fleet was “…more fucked than a ten cent whore on a day raining dimes.”
One from my childhood in the south, would occasionally hear the adults say “my ___ hurts worse than a whore’s knees on nickel blowjob day”
“like a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs” in reference to watching your ass.
I feel like this could work for so many things. Like a nails on a chalkboard noise, or a bull in a China shop situation. A bull made of nails amd teeth.
No, it’s referring to the nervousness of said cat, not the sound it makes.
Right, I get that, it just seems versatile.
“Like a blind man at an orgy, I had to feel my way through”
I do like “that could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon” in reference to a bad smell.
I’m from the south and I’ve only ever heard it as “that could knock a buzzard off a shit wagon at twenty paces” in case you were missing the end of it.
I’ve never heard that part but it makes more sense.
“you look like 5 pounds of shit in a whore’s lunchbox”
But… They don’t carry lunchbo— Oh.
