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My favourite is the (apparently) Australian saying “I’m so hungry a could eat the ass off a low flying duck”
I have always enjoyed “I could eat the north end of a south bound skunk”
Aussie slang is weapons grade language. They’re not here to fuck spiders
They truly have mastered the language and then elevated it to obscene heights.
Australian slang is fast becoming an arrogant edifice of human endeavour that god will have to one day topple or admit defeat. I for one suspect god is here to fuck spiders, and he may even be a drongo
“you look like 5 pounds of shit in a whore’s lunchbox”
But… They don’t carry lunchbo— Oh.
“the road was slicker than cum on a gold tooth”
From Southern wrestling legend Jim Cornette
Legend is a stretch to describe a transphobic sexist abuser.
You’re one of those people who reads a rumor on TMZ, takes it as fact and never even bothers to look up if it’s true
No need to read TMZ, Jim has made such comments openly on his own show. Also, I forgot to add racist.
Low hanging fruit. He’s an old southerner and when called out on his antiquated phrases by his jewish co host or Latino/black friends ,he takes his medicine and apologizes. He reminds me of my dad, you’d probably call him a raging homophobic, racist Nazi just cause he’s not as left as you, but he tries, learns, and will accept you.
Btw, Jim Cornette is a Bernie supporting, socialist democrat and will fight for your right to be who you are, even if he doesn’t get it. Unlike people like Jericho and the aew people who criticize him and call him racist, while they’re the ones who donate to Trump and go to the Jan 6 insurrection.
You people want every white southern who’s been on earth since Jim Crow days, to suddenly wake up one day and be leading the pride parade.
Guys like Cornette will never be left enough for you, not even if they split their wrist for you. And splitting hairs with people who are on your side is how your get Trump in power.
Just because Cornette is not a Republican doesn’t mean he’s not a shithead who has made derogatory comments and has refused to apologised for it (like his comments against Japanese female wrestlers). Your frankly moronic rambling makes no sense.
No amount of whatabaoutism is going to change that.
Do the needful
Kindly
My wife’s old dutch grandma once had a sip of beer and said “it’s like an angel pissing on my tongue”
Talking about how many children she had “your grandfather would throw his dirty undies at me and I’d get pregnant”
Grandma sounds like she could make a pirate blush :) I wanna be just like her when I grandma
it’s like an angel pissing on my tongue
That is an old Dutch saying, I was gonna ask if she had Dutch heritage, but than I re read your post.
We have that one as well in Bavaria:
Als würd’ dir ein Engelein auf die Zunge bieseln.
Is angel piss supposed to be a good thing?
It’s up there with the eucharist. But carbonated I guess.
It’s just below goden shower in the hierarchy.
My dad has a lot from growing up in a small farming community in Kansas:
“Shakin like a dog shittin prune seeds.”
“I gotta piss like a race horse.”
“So dumb you couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with the instructions on the heel.”
I once heard a coworker say: “if brains were gunpowder, they couldn’t blow their nose”.
A friend will occasionally say “that’ll make you take back shit you never stole”, which apparently means the thing (whatever he was talking about) was good.
“Shaking like a dog shitting razor blades” is the opening of an alkaline trio song. They’re out of Chicago, so I don’t think this is local to small town Kansas. Also I’m from Texas and piss like a racehorse was fairly common.
Was going to say the same! Although I like Hot Water Music’s cover Radio a bit more than the original.
We have variants of those in northern England too. Shaking like a shitting dog and pissing like a police horse.
Southern US, heard police horse but racehorse is more common. But my family’s was always “gotta piss like a pregnant woman” and “gotta piss so bad my back teeth are floating”
I once heard someone say that something was scattered “all over hell and half of Georgia”. I use that all the time now.
These are great because it’s anyone’s guess what they actually mean.
Went back home after like a decade and ran into my dad’s old boss from when I was a kid. His southern drawl was pronounced and nasal like a side character in an old western, "Well I ain’t seen you in a coon’s age!
Fur others that become curious, captive raccoon life expectancy in the wild is 3.1 years. But, have been known to live up to 20 years in captivity.
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I kin heer tha “sheeeOOOT!” from here.
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Southern Spain is also famous for sayings like these, some that come to my mind that I’ve heard from some friends:
“Hungrier than a snail on a glass” “Has less fat than a goat’s knee” “More leg than a box of shrimps” “This is harder than sweeping the floor upstairs”
Only like one of those makes any sense.
Why would a snail be more hungry on a glass surface than any other surface? Or for that matter, why is it hard to sweep the upper stories of the building than the ground floor?
Yeah, upstairs it means sweeping the staircase upstairs direction
It probably doesn’t translate over that well…
There isn’t anything for a snail to eat on a clean pane of glass, as opposed to a typical rock outside.
Goats don’t have fatty knees.
Shrimp have have many “legs”.
My southern friend says “It’s hotter than the hammered down hinges of hell”, which I just love.
“hotter than two rats fucking in a wool sock”
Especially when the drawl stretches out “woool” and snaps shut on “sock”.
I had a guy tell me once that his boss was so mad that was, “gonna shit down one leg and kick it off with the other.” He was perplexed at my laughter.
My favorite is when it’s raining “…like a cow pissing on a flat rock.”
I’ve always heard it said “raining like a tall cow peeing on a flat rock”
“Smoother than hammered bat shit”
“Slicker’n two eels fuckin in a bucket of snot”
Hornier than a three peckered billy goat.
Busier than a one legged man in a kicking contest.
“butt kicking contest” is the way I’ve always heard it said.
I also very recommend southern Italian for this. It is comical.
I remember a phrase someone taught me in college, it basically translates to telling someone to go fuck a donkey
