Transcription (Tumblr Post)
mitchipedia
[Screenshot of a Mastodon post]
🐙🐇🐝Pointed Sarah🐞🐡🐧
@sc_griffith@mathstodon.xyz
programmers are always posting like “worked on tracking down an issue with a Flurble deployment for twelve hours. the problem wasn’t in Flurble at all - it was in the Gumbies install. It turns out if you install Gumbies 3.0 over Gumbies 2.7 and don’t do a cache flush on all the client spiders they’ll get stuck in the crystal maze.” then you look up Gumbies and the site is one of those scroll scroll scroll types with one sentence per page, like
“GUMBIES is a lean, expressive sharding sandcube for testing and deploying large scale Woodchips playgrounds.
GUMBIES automates and streamlines away watersliding phases, meaning your team can get right to the chipping.
See why Microsoft, OpenAl and Bloingo have embraced GUMBIES in their Woodchips workflows.”
and you get to the bottom and you’re like I want this I guess but I still don’t know what it is
chaussurre
Maybe there wouldn’t be as many issues with the crystal maze if GUMBIES POSTED DOCUMENTATION. HOW THE FUCK DO YOU WORK YEARS ON A STABLE GUMBIES CLIENT SPIDER API AND NOT WRITE A LINE OF DOCUMENTATION DO YOU WANT PEOPLE TO NOT USE YOUR SOFTWARE???
jv (verification badge × 7)
Oh and WHY THE FUCK THE OFFICIALLY RECOMMENDED NPM PACKAGE FOR GUMBIES HAVE BEEN IN VERSION 0.1.1 FOR SEVEN YEARS AND SEEMS TO BE DEVELOPED BY “powerwolf112”, who hasn’t answered a single message in GitHub since 2021???
For all the bells in hell, there are massive websites that are using this amateur crap to defrumbulate their typescript decorators!
anarchywoofwoof
found this thread while trying to debug an issue just checking if anyone knows whether GUMBIES is backward compatible with Pea Gravel playground deployments or if its exclusive to Woodchips thanks in advance
11,862 notes
Thanks everyone, I figured it out.
Alternatively: “Never mind, I figured it out”
Forum responses like that are why two of my four IBM Model M’s don’t work anymore…
Man, I’m just chilling and relaxing after a week of SE work and this resonates with me very deeply
Now I understand where ChatGPT hallucinations come from.
tumblr will save us from the AI takeover
GUMBIES isn’t real, it can’t hurt me…
Oh honey, just because it’s not real doesn’t mean it can’t hurt you. Just look up Roko’s basilisk as an example.
The ego and audacity to think an AI will simulate you in eternal torment when that would use up precious resources it could be spending on making paperclips.
Or, yknow, don’t.
This makes me want to die
Sees link
It’s retro-encabulators, isn’t it?
clicks
Ooooo, new programmer meme lore.
I use Gorillas with Grandparents instead as the performance is much better. Do you know how bad Gumbies looks on your resume? It came out in 2022.
If you’re unsure about GUMBIES, you should take a look at this video.
My wife is in accounting, and I always thought they have too many meaningless jargons.
Now I know how I sound when I talk to her…
Every time I want to do something, I have a look around the baffling ecosystem of frameworks and end up writing it from scratch because it’s easier than wading through the bullshit.
You should release what you’ve written as a framework, that’s what everyone else is doing.
<Insert XKCD standards comic here>
We’ve got a good name for it
I feel that the nature of my framework is too simple and too focused on a specific goal to be worthy of the name.
Look, the crystal maze is absolutely essential to run Woodchips without a waterslide. You can complain all you want, but unless you want to run back to Microsoft for your woodchips deployment, this is the way. I’m not saying Gumbies is perfect, here, just that it’s the only viable unix implementation. If you want come up with your own sandcubing solution for Flurble, be my guest.
I fed this into chat gpt asking for documentation to add to the gibberish and confusion:
GUMBIES: Sharding Sandcube for Woodchips Playgrounds Overview GUMBIES is a robust, expressive sharding sandcube designed for testing and deploying large-scale Woodchips playgrounds. It serves as a versatile tool to automate and streamline the watersliding phases of the Woodchips workflow, allowing your team to focus on the essential chipping activities.
Key Features Sharding Sandcube: GUMBIES provides a lean and efficient environment for sharding, allowing for the creation and management of scalable Woodchips playgrounds.
Expressive Automation: Automate repetitive tasks and streamline processes, enabling your team to achieve quicker and more efficient Woodchips deployments.
Woodchips Workflow Integration: GUMBIES seamlessly integrates into Woodchips workflows, enhancing the testing and deployment experience for development teams.
Benefits Efficiency: GUMBIES accelerates the testing and deployment phases, reducing the time spent on setting up and managing Woodchips environments.
Scalability: With sharding capabilities, GUMBIES supports the scalability requirements of large Woodchips playgrounds, ensuring optimal performance.
Compatibility: Trusted by industry leaders like Microsoft, OpenAl, and Bloingo, GUMBIES is a reliable choice for Woodchips workflows.
Getting Started Installation
npm install -g gumbies
Basic Usage Initialize a new Woodchips playground:
gumbies init my_woodchips_playground
Configure the playground settings:
cd my_woodchips_playground
gumbies configure
Start the Woodchips playground:
gumbies start
Visit our documentation website for detailed instructions, advanced configurations, and troubleshooting.
Testimonials
“GUMBIES has significantly improved our Woodchips workflows, providing a reliable and efficient platform for testing and deploying”. Microsoft
“The expressive automation capabilities of GUMBIES have streamlined our development processes, allowing us to focus on Woodchipping without distractions.” OpenAl
“Bloingo trusts GUMBIES for its scalability and compatibility with Woodchips. A valuable addition to any development toolkit.” - Bloingo
Support and Community For support, bug reports, or feature requests, visit our GitHub repository or join our community forum here.
Embrace the efficiency and scalability of GUMBIES in your Woodchips workflows. Get started today for a smoother development experience.
ThomThumb:
@anarchywoofwoof I found some documentation that answers your question: https://www.deadlink.com/dontevenclick
anarchywoofwoof:
@ThomThumb Thanks, that’s exactly what I needed, so glad to have the answer to my problem. I’ll leave this up for anyone that has the same issue.
Nolonger works with current api check out https://www.deadlink.com/dontevenclick#migrate for how to update
Must … Click
Thr34dN3cr0 wrote (14:12 5/17/2019):
Does anyone have a way to fix this in the latest version? I’ve been looking all day but none of the answers I’ve found work.
Thr34dN3cr0 wrote (14:48 5/17/2019):
nvm figured it out.
Kubernetes homepage is the real life example of this.
I still don’t know what kubernetes does and at this point I’m afraid to ask.
It has the same root as the also made up word Cybernetics, hope this helps!
I think it empowers the deployment of, um scalability, of the, *waves arounds* modular thingies… or something. In a virtual way.
I still don’t know what it is. I will keep it that way on purpose
Is the joke not on the problem of cute names? K8s doesn’t seem to do that at all. I also checked the homepage itself, and it seemed OK.
What am I missing?
There are innumerable examples.
My typical attitude is “I was fine without “latest fad” until now, I’ll still be fine now that I still know nothing about it”. And I forget about the whole thing. It’ll probably vanish fifteen months later anyway.
As an aside, who even makes those caricatural, utterly content free websites, and then pats themselves on the back thinking that’s a job well done? They’ve obviously put some amount of work into those things. Is the point to make it seem like it’s a cool super secret society or what?
They all look the exact same as well, like every Bootstrap site does.
Stable binaries ftw
I can relate and I’m not even an expert yet.
It’s my full time job handling it but I’m still not actually sure what “orchestration” is.
Think like systemd is a service manager, but scale it to multiple systems (and all the kafkaesqe issues that comes with). Its super powerful because of it, supporting high availability across dataceneters and even regions with some configs of complex apps, but that’s just super niche for most of us.
By the end of the post chain, I could no longer tell if this was a joke or not.
I’m still just trying to figure out if GUMBIES is compatible with my ReverMax Turbo Encabulator model XYZZY in sinusoidal repleneration mode.
nice to see another vxjunkie here
A lot of them were shifted 1 second into the future following the problems with the cracked frampton valve on a popular model of felindrical phase felcher.
It’ll be extra fun in a few years when someone names their project after this joke.
And stop answering on GitHub after 7 years on v0.1.1