And they’ll be better people because of it. Win/win!
The Satanic Panic is back? The whole drag queen story thing ran its course and they couldn’t come up with anything new so they went back to the Satanic Panic? What’s next, satanic messages in music if you pay rock music MP3’s backward?
In some places it never left.
Did you know if you play reversed Highway to Hell backwards, they say hell in it?
Are these satanic cultists in the room with us now?
I uh… Play D&D, so yes I guess?
I play MTG so I’m technically a sorcerer?
I’m a dungeon master so I’m technically God.
Definitely yes here’s my Satanic Temple membership card.
Third Pale of Hell, second door to your right, please roll for initiative.
When I think of a satanic cult in Alabama, Tommy, I think of the largest terrorist organization in our history, the KKK.
Ever been to one of their meetings, Tommy?
We all know he’s a regular. Nursing a beer and longing for the days they could…BBQ Uppercase Ts…and…decorate trees with rope…
Can you imagine sending your eighteen year old son to play football for this guy? Must’ve been quite interesting if your eighteen year old son also happened to have an abundance of melanin.
I mean a lot of us lost a lot of older relatives to a cult so I guess turnabout is fair play.
We’re doing this again?
Well, conservatives hate progress, so…
Tuberville, a politician the Onion loves and Alabama keeps electing.
He is a first term senator, he has only been elected once so far.
I don’t think the onion really likes the dude-
He keeps upstaging their satire
Link without paywall: https://archive.is/mZAjt
The biggest satanic cult are these republican assholes.
Please don’t insult Satanists like that.
You sold your children’s souls to a cult the minute you made them salute a piece of colored fabric every day, Tommy. It’s too late to start whining about it now.
I’m sure they all cheered since that is their goal?
This dipshit hates America. Get the country back to which god? This is a secular country. Go fuck yourself with that nonsense.
This is a secular country.
Unfortunately, there are a lot of people in this country who disagree. They try to twist the words of the founders to imply freedom of Christian religion. Even some of my more reasonable family members, who won’t be voting for Trump, still think this is a Christian nation.
Freedom of means nothing without also having a freedom from. Also, the people twisting the words are doing just that - it doesn’t take much to blow up the “this is a xtian nation” narrative at all.
That’s like the one and only religion that actually respects humanity, so even taking this guy’s bullshit at face value, it’s still good news lol.
Tenets of satanism:
I - One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.
II - The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.
III - One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.
IV - The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one’s own.
V - Beliefs should conform to one’s best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one’s beliefs.
VI - People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one’s best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused.
VII - Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.
These are the tenets of The Satanic Temple (TST) not the Church of Satan. They are different.
Yum, bleu cheese
I’m largely unfamiliar with the Church of Satan. How does the Church of Satan differ from The Satanic Temple?
https://slrpnk.net/comment/7132212
Check the image from the other comment. It does a great job of summing it up quickly. 😊
There are real-life unironic evil Satanists. They’re Nazis and they (along with others) target children online, expose them to abhorrent content, convince them to self harm, exploit them sexually, and bully them to commit suicide. All for lols and clout.
This isn’t what Tuberville was talking about. He senses evil through vibes. Demons who support abortion, do sex in the butt, and worst of all: hate football.
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