“Satanic cults” where everyone agrees Christianity is the one true religion but some people just decide to side with the bad guy because they’re bad is hilarious on its face and it’s wild it keeps causing these panics.

Fuck it. I’ll get possessed by a progressive demon that taxes billionaires and corporations at a fair rate, over following a god that supports bigotry against LGBTQ people and laughs at children’s drowning in a river filled with razor wire, any fuckin day of the week.

It goes hand in hand with them claiming all their opposition are pedos, as well. Even though if there is any group with a pedo problem, it’s the right wing.

Please don’t insult Satanists like that.

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Mormons have money.

He’s not completely there for himself, though this trip is certainly self serving or he would do it. He’s there to put his weight behind a candidate for Mitt Romney’s senate seat. A MAGAT who has been endorsed by Trump.

It’s goofy as hell. House members and senators can get donations and contributions from people anywhere. I’m sure it could be funneled to circumvent, but I would expect laws that candidates be only allowed to get them from entities and people in their geographic constituencies would at least have some kind of positive effect.

This is a secular country.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people in this country who disagree. They try to twist the words of the founders to imply freedom of Christian religion. Even some of my more reasonable family members, who won’t be voting for Trump, still think this is a Christian nation.

Make no mistake: Catholics, Lutherans, Anglicans, Christians Universalists, Christians who happen to vote Democrat, and other Christian or near-Christian faiths will not be spared. This is certainly a religious movement, but it does not have Jesus of Nazareth at its head.

This movement has more in common with the Westboro hate/terrorism group than with orthodox Christianity, and Christians who do not espouse the right political hatred will absolutely be labeled Satanists too.

My favorite thing was noticing how many of them also call any non-xtian religion (but also includes Mormons and JW and Catholics, too, lol, WUT) “pagan”.

First time I ran across such a thing, I was like…“wait, wait, wait, what?” in the middle of one of them going through a Gish Gallop of evangelical bullshit.

You are 100% correct.

"Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, “Don’t do it!” He said, “Nobody loves me.” I said, “God loves you. Do you believe in God?”

He said, “Yes.” I said, “Are you a Christian or a Jew?” He said, “A Christian.” I said, “Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?” He said, “Protestant.” I said, “Me, too! What franchise?” He said, “Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?” He said, “Northern Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?”

He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said, “Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?” He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said, “Me, too!”

Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I said, “Die, heretic!” And I pushed him over."

—Emo Phillips

He is a first term senator, he has only been elected once so far.

I don’t think the onion really likes the dude-

He keeps upstaging their satire