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@[email protected] to Lemmy [email protected] • 1 year ago

Door mat subscription is $29.99 per month

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Door mat subscription is $29.99 per month

lemmy.world

@[email protected] to Lemmy [email protected] • 1 year ago
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  • Ghostalmedia
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    8•1 year ago

    This could make me carry around my keys on a retractable lanyard like a postal worker.

  • @[email protected]
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    6•1 year ago

    You could just get a largish key chain accessory.

    • @[email protected]
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      3•1 year ago

      this guy drops (his keys)

    • @[email protected]
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      3•1 year ago

      I think you’d be in gas-station-keyring territory to do the job reliably. How about a hubcap?

      • @[email protected]
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        3•1 year ago

        I prefer those little plastic shovels.

  • @[email protected]
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    39•1 year ago

    I’d keep the keys attached to a belt or wrists or something. If I lived there long enough, I’d even steal the lid and replace it with something finer…

    • @[email protected]
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      18•1 year ago

      It’s fine the person in the picture is a pro that can hold the keys like a power puff girl

      • VindictiveJudge
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        4•1 year ago

        Wasn’t there a scene where they discussed how weird their hands were?

        • @[email protected]
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          3•1 year ago

          I think when the professor got turned into one or something and couldn’t pick things up

          • shuzuko
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            2•1 year ago

            Opposite - one of the girls got swapped into the professor’s body and couldn’t use his hands because she didn’t know how fingers worked.

  • BarqsHasBite
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    14•1 year ago

    Numpad time.

    • Dessalines
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      1•1 year ago

      Those rule. Like why carry around physical secrets unlockers if we don’t need to.

  • @[email protected]
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    48•1 year ago

    I think the real question here is wtf kind of crazy doorknob is that?!?!?

    • @[email protected]
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      5•1 year ago

      Small pistol grip, John woo style.

    • @[email protected]
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      31•1 year ago

      I’m betting this is less of a knob and more of an immobile handle.

      • @[email protected]
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        2•1 year ago

        What’s the difference? (Asking as a non-native English speaker)

        • @[email protected]
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          1•1 year ago

          Door knob can be twisted to open the door. Door handle is static (it doesn’t twist or move) it’s just a convenient place to grab the door.

        • @[email protected]
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          1 year ago

          The key opens what is basically a deadbolt, and the only actual latch for the door.

          The “knob” isn’t so much a knob, but a stationary/fixed handle for pulling the door.

      • ℍ𝕖𝕝𝕝𝕤𝕥𝕠𝕣𝕞𝕪
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        1•4 months ago

        Yes, I have exactly this door handle and it does not move.

      • @[email protected]
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        8•1 year ago

        You’d be correct, my front door works similarly (minus the key-swallower under it).

      • @[email protected]
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        9•1 year ago

        That just makes this even more evil lol

        • @[email protected]
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          2•1 year ago

          How so

    • @[email protected]
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      8•1 year ago

      90° rotated robotic horse penis and it. Is. A. Fan. Of. Yoooohooouuuu!

  • Boomer Humor Doomergod
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    5•1 year ago

    Some window screen and zip ties would solve that problem.

  • @[email protected]
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    39•1 year ago

    I hate drain holes that appear to go all the way down to bedrock where you can feel heat coming from the earth below. Like it’s the first chapter of Journey to the Center of the Earth.

    • @[email protected]
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      2•1 year ago

      Wherever he saw a hole he always wanted to know the depth of it. To him this was important.

    • @[email protected]
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      5•1 year ago

      Guy in front of a no knock raid party gets to confirm the hollow earth theory for himself.

  • @[email protected]
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    68•1 year ago

    5$ of mesh is an option.

    • Mr Fish
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      24•1 year ago

      <2$ of large keyring is an option

      • @[email protected]
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        18•1 year ago

        Stealing a doormat is also an option.

        • @[email protected]
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          11•1 year ago

          That’s how you get a turd on your doorknob from a neighbor

          • @[email protected]
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            3•1 year ago

            So steal near a friends house.

            • @[email protected]
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              2•1 year ago

              Or don’t be a piece of shit

              • @[email protected]
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                1•1 year ago

                Try growing a sense of humor. Or killing your masters.

              • kase
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                3•1 year ago

                Not an option, sorry :p

      • Ghostalmedia
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        3•1 year ago

        Then $40 for sexy cargo pants to hold your giant keyring.

  • @[email protected]
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    10•1 year ago

    House owner: That’s $499 for a new key.

  • Destide
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    8•1 year ago

    My partners keys would be safe

  • Synapse
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    9•1 year ago

    Just use a keychain that is bigger that the grill pitch, any small trinket will do.

    • Ghostalmedia
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      4•1 year ago

      But then you need to carry around a big keychain.

  • Ghostalmedia
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    13•1 year ago

    Seeing all these “just get a giant key chain” comments reminds me that Lemmy’s core user base is the software engineer who stores a giant keychain in his cargo shorts, along side a multitool and the world’s thickest wallet.

    • @[email protected]
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      5•1 year ago

      You mean it’s NOT an accurate random sample of reality?

      • Ghostalmedia
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        4•1 year ago

        Wait. Everyone isn’t running Linux on their daily driver?

  • Sagrotan
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    1 year ago

    Cheap pickset and learn to do it: priceless. No. 1 life skill.

    • bruhduh
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      11•1 year ago

      Lockpicklawyer alt account detected /jk

    • @[email protected]
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      7•1 year ago

      At least where i live your regular home locks are secure enough that non-destructive entry requires specialized tools and close to LPL level skill. In my country there was once a serial burglar that could do that and for a long time police didnt even believe the that there even was any burglary.

      • @[email protected]
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        7•1 year ago

        You in one of those schmancy countries where everyone’s got them fucken assa abloys on their tool sheds?

        • @[email protected]
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          4•1 year ago

          Ye but the sheds have the worse assa abloys

          • @[email protected]
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            2•1 year ago

            I work at a JEWELERY STORE and ONE of our doors has an assa abloy.

            To be fair the other door opens to a highway, so would-be burglars would have to be ballsy.

            • @[email protected]
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              2•1 year ago

              I don’t even know what continent youre on and I’m already trying to think of how to rob you.

            • @[email protected]
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              1•1 year ago

              Frogger irl

    • @[email protected]
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      11•1 year ago

      Until you drop that down the grate too

  • @[email protected]
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    5•1 year ago

    Folded beach towel is one and done

  • @[email protected]
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    8•1 year ago

    NO.

    If anyone has a term for this specific phobia, please let me know

    • @[email protected]
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      4•1 year ago

      llllkeyllllphobia. Makes about as much sense as some other phobia names!

    • @[email protected]
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      1 year ago

      deleted by creator

    • @[email protected]
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      4•1 year ago

      His palms are sweaty
      Knees weak, arms are heavy…

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