Look at those fat Canadian dipshits, just waddling around, scaring children & shitting on the sidewalk. Truly admirable work, but they should still be available for public consumption. 1 in 6 Americans are facing food insecurity and food deserts and these sky deer are running around parking lots like they don’t have predators to worry about. Because they dont.
I understand we cant just let every stupid fuck with a gun go wild at your local sump pond; Which I why I propose installation of WiFi enabled public goose traps near all drainage ditches & retention pools. This way you don’t wait to wait all day in a hunting blind outside Walgreens, but can simply check your Güser™️ app for the closest available bird. The trap will release the bird for you as soon as you swipe your local library card into the reader, promoting literacy, allowing the homeless to have first dibs, and making sure your town is only sourcing local ducks, preventing goose runs & hording.
“But Zoift” I hear to object, “I dont want to eat geese that are full of my local landfill’s runoff.”
First off, fuck you, microplastics build strong glands. Second, just catch one & grain feed it for a week to flush out the gut and you’re looking at some primo bird. After simmering them for stock, the bones can be returned to the source, ensuring a steady flow of calcium back to the environment for future egg production & to help the secondary possum industry.
This is completely unironic, i want to eat those geese and i don’t understand why nobody else has yet.
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First off, fuck you, microplastics build strong glands
This is why I always eat the tray I cook my TV dinners in. I’m not sure what distinguishes microplastics from plastics, but I reckon after running through the digestive tract the difference is irrelevant. What can I say? I’m a guy who likes his glands… whatever those are
https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2011/10/my-first-helping-of-canada-goose/246881/
https://www.vice.com/en/article/d75n8z/we-should-be-eating-more-canadian-geese
https://www.gq.com/story/the-case-for-eating-goose
https://www.foxnews.com/us/pa-food-bank-director-would-welcome-ny-goose-meat
Nearly 1,700 Canada geese were rounded up and gassed last year. This year the goose meat will be sent to Pennsylvania food banks.
Fuck yes, im not alone. Excellent research. Im promoting you to municipal Bird Czar.
Communism and killing lots of birds, name a better match.
Famines as a result.
:angery:
Mao’s real mistake was not serving up those sparrows on a bed of greens.
gassed
what in da fuck
This is genocide, why is nobody talking about this?
Uyghur geese
AMERICA IS DOING BIRD HOLOCAUST
AMERICA IS DOING BIRD HOLOCAUST
AMERICA IS DOING BIRD HOLOCAUSTAmerica is maoist confirmed.
What if hunting was allowed, no limits, but you had to catch and kill with your bare hands?
Comrade, do you not see the Goose as our ally in the struggle against fascism and capitalism? The Goose does not bend to the will of its “superiors.” It does not tolerate harassment of its community. It does not recognize ownership or have leaders. They take turns leading flights. They have sympathy, compassion, fierce determination, and are intelligent.
We should all strive to be like Comrade Goose.
I see the decorations of the bourgeoisie flapping around a bunch of sterile curated lawns and asphalt lava flows. Geese have no internal cooperation, only a mad feudal struggle for nesting rights and hissing competitions.
Just try to fuck with the geese at a park. Individually they’ll puff up and honk & try to batter you with their little wing-bone notches, but there’s no team effort, no communal defense, no sense of camaraderie. Just an individualistic struggle for dominance over the mosquito infested waters of your local sump pond. Geese are lumpen, at best.
I propose that we allow each captured goose a stay of execution and immediately release it back into the wild based on its response to “honk if Thatcher’s dead.”
I am generally against capturing comrades for show trials, but, as a liberal, I’ll allow it in the spirit of compromise.
with all due respect geese are my friends and i am going to help them beat your ass, please dont post slanderous things about geese on chapo dot chat
They sealed their fate when they harassed me for cornchips & gave me a good look at those flight muscles in the process.
Ever since then the urge lives in the back of my mind, tickling my reptile brain: “You’re definitely edible, well fed & probably tasty, and you wont ever expect me to try shit”. I totally understand why horny scurvacious sailors went ham on penguins now.
I totally understand why horny scurvacious sailors went ham on penguins now.
wait, what?
Sailors love being horny, getting scurvy because they think fruit is icky, and clubbing the shit out of defenseless birds.
I don’t really understand the question I guess. This is all very straightforward.
there’s no way they taste good but i support you in your struggle
Wild goose & duck are good eating. Very dark, rich & fatty meat if you get them the right time of year.
The city geeses will probably require grain feeding to wash out the gameiness from the meat, but it works fine with pigeons & squirrels.
On the one hand I balk at the the possible ramifications to local and regional ecosystems if people start eating geese which are such an important species.
On the other hand I hunger for that gooseflesh.
If anyone here has never eaten a goose (the kind that’s normal to eat), it’s amazing. Try goose for Thanksgiving or Christmas instead of a turkey if you’re having a smaller gathering this year because of coronavirus. It’s more like a big duck than a turkey.
Untitled Goose Game 2: The murder of Chapo.Chat
Seriously, we had a goose at the local Uni’s park. She would attack small children who got too close, then when the parent came to protect the child it would get between them and their belongings and attack them until they ran away. Then it would take their stuff.
Geese will fuck you up, they will fuck your friends and family up, they are relentless and without mercy. You’re better off attacking a swan.
Goose fighting tip for semi-experienced practitioners: Staying in the pocket with a goose is how you lose. Those wings will fuck you up, and you’ll be getting bitten the entire time you’re getting fucked up.
Instead, make use of your human reach advantage by throwing front kicks. By staying mobile and making the goose come to you, you have established ring control and are now dictating the pace of the fight.
If rushed, try to circle out instead of backing up; you want to be beside or behind the goose for an easy counter.
Finally, if you do end up in close quarters, grab the neck at the base of the head and you just, you you y’know the thing.
Dude shut the fuck up, you’re gonna ruin my fair trade pillow startup.
Possum floor traders screaming about calcium futures contracts.
Save a goose, eat a Canadian.
Real shit, though…people are probably fucking terrible for your digestive system.
we ate ducks, the kind you feed stale bread at the pond. prepped in the bathtub. stewed with herbs. nice and gamey, easy to catch. would do it again, even if that makes me just as bad as an outdoor cat.
Way too overt, this is why i recommend traps. That way if the cops start shit, you can say you’ve been volunteering for a TNR program.
A very modest proposal of you
