I would keep a small dumb phone as a family phone for when kids go on trips and sleep overs. They get a personal smartphone at around the age of 16 or 18.
Chaperoned a group of 13-14 yo 8th graders to a school-organized out-of-state civics trip. Only one kid out of ten didn’t have a smartphone. 🤷🏻♂️
We got ours a flip-phone around 11 to coordinate after-school pickup, then a smartphone at 13, mainly because of involvement in cross-country and wanting to know where the kid was. Social apps or gaming with strangers will be disabled until 16.
Mine is almost 12 and I’m not sure she is ready for that. She has an iPad now and her friends all chat via Discord. I have an old phone for 911 calls only.
As a non parent of Lemmy I would give my fake daughter a clay tablet at the age of 13
You know if my fake kids were ever to remark that I was abusive I would like it to be because of not buying them phone. Id love to be a fly on the wall of that therapy session
My kids are 5, and Im not sure it’s on the horizon in the next few years. There are no answers here, but I have the same question and have been wondering about how others approach this.
I didn’t haven’t my first phone until 25, and it’s a different, much more connected world now, however.
A family I know give their kids limited screen time per day on the home laptops. No phones yet.
Teach them how to use a computer first. Phones are very easy to learn eventually
My dad used to throw documents at me to type. They where soo random, I could have sworn I was in his pissing list or something.
Now? I’m thankful! dude i can type fast
We gave my son a smart phone at 8, because his mother and I lived in different states and he flew as an unaccompanied minor a LOT. I also lived in Oakland and I wanted to be able to reach him and to know where he was when he was with me.
We had strict rules about when he was allowed to have it on and when he was not allowed to NOT have it. We also didn’t get him a data plan and made him use Wifi.
As a result of him actually being impressively responsible with that phone, we turned on the data and relaxed the rules probably years earlier than we would have under other circumstances.
Can’t remember when exactly. But basically as soon as they wanted to roam around in a bigger radius. Maybe 6, 7 or 8. It gave them the security to explore. They know that it’s GPS tracked. And if they don’t feel well they can always call us, even if it’s just so that they don’t feel alone.
Sure, we didn’t have that as kids. But we also had phone booths on every corner and some change in our pockets.
We gave our kid their first proper smartphone when they had to do a bit of travel to get to school. However, I’ve fully embraced the parental controls of Google family link and Microsoft safety and it’s been great so far. The combination of both provides incredibly granular controls to what they can see on the web, how long they use specific apps and what apps they’re allowed to install.
I’ve got complaints about Google family link’s limits. They don’t work right.
This is on the family tablet.
As for phones, my kid will get a phone sometime after they ask for one, likely when I upgrade mine. (Unless it’s a forced upgrade due to gravity or water)
What’s wrong with the screenshot? I have no idea what the numbers mean but I’d guess 28min is how long the app was opened, and 20m is how much video was watched?
Oh, yeah, it’s set for a 20 minute limit, it was used for 28. Limits are supposed to be uh, limiting.
Oh, yeah. So one’s the limit, the other the actual? Yikes.
I think my kid will be like me and try to overcome those restrictions.
Before I wanted them to have a phone, I got a second d phone. It was my phone, not my kids phone. I would let my child take it when they went for a ride, or stayed over with a friend, or whatever. But it was my phone. If I had to take it off them, I wasn’t taking their phone, I was taking my phone. The difference is important. It also gave them a chance to learn appropriate use, and normalised me being in control of it. By age 10-11 the phone was basically theirs, in their hands, but the control is still mine. So my advice is don’t give the phone to your child, especially it as a present. It’s more difficult to take something of theirs away, but if they borrow something of yours, it’s much easier.
This is the way to go. I don’t have kids, but it’s how my sisters went about it. For the longest time if my nephew wanted to call and talk to me, the number would ring up as my sister’s number, because not only was it a spare phone, but it was dually connected with her number (not sure how tbh, she worked for a carrier for a long time).
It’s just hard to find that thin line between allowing them to have something or have them be behind all their friends who do have access to one.
My policy would probably be worse, tbh. I’d toss them an old Nokia and be like, “Legends say it’ll take the force of an 18 wheeler and a flood and still work.” For context, I had a friend who ran his over 3 times with his dad’s mack truck, reducing it to just a screen and PCB which he used as his phone at school. Then I watched him accidentally drop and fully submerge said screen and PCB into a half foot deep puddle while we ran down a mountain in a thunderstorm and that sucker still worked.
It was his experiment, to keep trying to destroy it to the point where he couldn’t use it but have to use it if it did. I think it died not too long after, though.
I apologize for being harsh, but you have no monkey in this circus.
Yeah! How dare someone without a child share their opinion and relevant life experiences. That dick should know we don’t care for his type here!
/s in case it’s needed
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The comment is not a response to the prompt though, but a reply to another comment.
None taken, friend. I understand that, but I still think about these things a lot. I’m still young enough where I could have a happy accident, even if we’re not trying. My mind is always on how to be a good father if it did.
As a successful father I’ll tell you the secret. Raise excellent humans.
That’s hopefully the plan if that time does come. Two of my three sisters lived at home and single while raising their first kids, so I tried to help them out as much as I could. I wouldn’t be completely blind going in. I’d be fretting a lot at first, though. The world would seem much more dangerous with a kid to worry about.
I really like this idea. I am going to mention it to my partner. We have been trying to craft a policy for it recently.
We just did this a month or so ago. My wife’s old Pixel 4a got a data-only SIM, and we locked it down extensively with a profile for each of the older kids (9 and 7). Websites and apps are allow-only. They can call or text us through Google Chat, and we also allow Pokemon Go and a couple of other things. We call it the “Family Phone,” and they don’t have unlimited access to it, but it’s handy to have something to hand them when they leave the house without us.
Best answer yet. Plus, you can sneak on then when in doubt with FindMyPhone or something. Thank you.
You can do this, but I’ll warn you that my mother did this and it destroyed all trust in our relationship. Seriously, not for a week, or a month, it has been 20 years and the trust is still ruined. I didn’t even drink or smoke or anything, I’m still angry at her for snooping on me, not trusting me.
She has never apologized or felt any remorse for tracking me. All she had to do was ask where I was and I would have told her. You do this, understand how your child will react.
No, that is bullshit. If you don’t trust them or if they can’t be trusted don’t give them a phone. Nanny parenting, or pretending you’re the NSA is unhealthy for their development, and gives you an illusion of control of their life that is inaccurate and misleading.
Talk to your fucking kid about your worries or their behavior and/or parent them, actually drive behavioral change, but don’t bitch out and not parent and pretend the E-leash is helping them or you.
Saw this in the news in my country just recently. Like, middle school would be appropriate, with property parental controls. I think that is what was said.
Apple Watch with a cellular calling plan when he started walking to school by himself, at age 8. No need for a proper phone for a while.
Four kids, smartphone distribution from top to bottom was about 15, 14, 14, 12. It was all of course dependent on the age of the kid and the ability to cope with the immense wealth of bullshit you get from having a smartphone.
Unrelated to the question but can we please drop the Reddit habit of adding “of Lemmy” to the question? You’re asking Lemmy, no need to add it to every question.
No ill will to OP!
I agree, because these posts have reach beyond just Lemmy, it’s the whole fediverse. No need to address just one platform
Honestly. I don’t know why I found that so fucking annoying but I used to skip posts with that style of title.
Agreed, it’s so cringe
My wife and I had this conversation the other day. Our kid is only two right now, but as we’ve learned, these milestones sneak up on you.
I used my own life as a guide to my opinion, and so landed on age eight or so. That’s around the age I remember being able to go to the park or to a friend’s house within the neighbourhood on my own.
Other questions about how much functionality the phone would have and how much access they would have to it at home are still to be determined.
My oldest got a smart watch which could make calls only to preset numbers that we added (mom, dad, grandma, aunt, and one neighbor who had a son the same age) at 9. That’s when he started getting dropped off at friends’ houses without a parent sticking around (mind you - this was just coming off COVID lockdowns, so we may have done it sooner if there was a need to). I wanted him to always be able to reach us in any situation. He’s a really responsible kid, so he got a full smartphone the summer after 5th grade (11) when he went on the class trip to Washington DC. Currently in middle school with a smartphone and no issues yet, plus it gives us something valuable to him to take away if we feel he’s letting grades slip, etc.
My second does not seem to share the same level of responsibility, so he did not get his smart watch until 10. He may not get a smartphone anytime soon. It depends on the kid.
My youngest is 8. Time will tell about how responsible he is, but Lord - this is the child that WILL need to call us. Always getting into something 🤦🏻♀️.
