This was a team effort.
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Is this actually any different from the licking chart? 🤔
This should definitely be its own website. High-res when? 😋
“Can I Put it in my Ass?” 8K AI UPSCALED (from jpeg)
[email protected] is the best of us. The best of our best, the best that each of us will ever build or ever love. So pray for this Guardian of our growth and choose him well, for if he be not truly blessed, then our designs are surely frivolous and our future but a tragic waste of hope. Bless our best and adore for he doth bear our measure to the Cosmos.
Never because this is the resolution paint.net shat this abomination out at.
If it glows, it goes. (Up my ass)
I’d love to see the reasoning for each element. Most of them are obvious but I’m curious about some of them.
Are all the gasses dangerous because they’d have to be frozen to a solid? You could use them to pressurize a dildo-shaped envelope, though.
That’s great! because a surprising amount of research was done (way more than anticipated). You will learn some crazy things by studying this. All elements are in solid form at STP so for the gasses that’s in the range of -200 C. Someone suggested doing a version with liquid and gas enemas but you know? I’m just not that dedicated (yet)
My first thought was “why is nitrogen dangerous?” but I was thinking about it at room temperature or around 20C.
I know about decompression sickness (the bends) but I wouldn’t expect that to be a problem at 1 atmosphere. Then I stumbled upon isobaric counterdiffusion and I wondered if that could happen from pumping any pure gas into the rectum at atmospheric pressure, since it’d be at a higher partial pressure than any gas in the tissue.
Yeah I think gasses in the rectum have several severe issues that liquids don’t have. Mostly because liquids don’t exert pressure. Could get pretty in-depth.
Going in deep, you say
How, uh dedicated are you?
It’s for science, so someone has to do it,
Why not iodine?
I was informed by someone that elemental iodine is actually toxic when not in salt form. Could be true/false?
Here’s some interesting ones that I don’t think anyone’s asked yet so far
The two CIA ones? Only elements with an unenriched isotope that can reach critical mass (and don’t instantly disappear). You’d need only a few dildos to make a nuclear bomb. The anal probe and CIA disappearing is literal.
Borat is in this diagram
Starting with Potassium the Alkalis become basically explosive to water and get progressively more reactive. If you haven’t covered it yet this is because their valence shells get weaker the heavier you go.
Hydrogen and Helium so far basically cannot exist in solid form at STP in any appreciable amount.
calcium, strontium and barium are also pretty reactive with water, and at any rate beyond hydrogen the other product (metal hydroxide) is corrosive
IMO, I’d count plutonium in the anal probe category. Enriched or not, it’s gonna raise tons of red flags.
Buying that much uranium would probably just get your house raided by the FBI. If you told them what you were planning on doing with it, they might find it funny enough not to indict you but they probably wouldn’t let you keep it.
You goin to Guantanamo but almost certainly alive. If you knew how to make quantities of Curium and Calorfinium though… yeah you’re dead or not coming out of a cardboard box.
The answer to all is “yes, but watch out.”
You can do anything once.
Brave
Those lanthanides… are we not terming a lethal radiation dose as rectal damage?? Or are you assuming an ideal isotope?
I think the whole lanthanide row could use a review by an “expert”. Sparse information on relative toxicity and relative radiated energy and immediate effects on mucus membranes. Someone still in school ask their prof and show them this diagram.
Damn imagine putting mercury up there. I don’t think your sphincter could hold it
hey it says “in” not “up”. Just gotta lay down or maybe go inverted.
If the dildo were chilled to -40°…
But then your body heat would slowly melt it and lube yourself with heavy poison
Honestly, there are worse ways to go.
Like trying to get an abortion in a red state?
Heyooo!!!
Nooo, please don’t remind me of politics (Although funny comment I admit)
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This assumes the dildo must be solid. I think as scientists we need to think outside the box (and ass)
Indeed. So if we go with every element at STP it’s pretty boring. All the gasses just become green except flourine and there’s some minute changes. I felt this way was more interesting and would get people asking more questions.
All gasses except Flourine become green?
You must have really Chad mucus membranes to deal with Chlorine and Bromine.
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Suggested update, Silicon is a picture of Obi-Wan saying “That’s why I’m here”
Silicon isn’t the same thing as silicone 🤣
Updated
Chad behaviour
Arsenic is maybe not?
Pain must be relatively immediate to qualify for owe, my ass. Some of the yellow ones are insidious killers indeed.
Edit: I’m making the distinction that I’ll make ones that cause relatively guaranteed death purple.
I think you mean “ow.” The word “owe” has a different meaning, not related to pain.
The spelling mistake has been left in for ambiance
EDIT: I was outvoted! Apparently we want to ‘improve the legitimacy’ of this document or something
Eh, you’ll shit it back out
So… you’re saying it’s okay to put uranium in my ass but not oxygen ??
Let’s see your oxygen dildo 🤔
Already wearing it but you can’t see it
Ya’ll sleeping on bismuth dildos smdh
Uranium is fine, but oxygen is going too far, got it
Natural (unenriched) uranium isn’t especially radioactive and while there is plenty of exciting chemistry that could happen, none of it would be quite as immediately exciting as what would happen if you tried to freeze oxygen solid enough to make a dildo
enriched uranium is also not particularly radioactive, only as a spent fuel is becomes spicy
Gamma emitters are the one thing you really don’t want in your dildo.
Uranium will give you heavy metal poisoning worse than lead, however
I’ll add it to the potential update list. Lead used to be green and then somebody convinced me to make it yellow and yeah…
I’m learning more about the elements here in a meme comment thread than I think I did in school over a decade ago.
I actually spread misinformation there, chemical toxicity alone lead is worse, unless the uranium is somewhat enriched, you’re better off with an uranium butt plug after all
Heavy metal poisoning will kill you slowly, as opposed to the rather more immediate sensation of catching fire while getting severe frostbite
Please make sure they’re flared!
Instructions unclear. Magnesium is now burning my ass.
