The more I think about it, it seems that long-term happiness is something many people spend their lives seeking OR they believe it’s something they used to have and lost.
That makes me wonder if we are truly ever happy? Or if it’s something that is always just out of reach (in the future or in the past).
I’m happy. Family healthy, relationships are great. I love my job, I make good money, enjoy the work and people. I’m buying my first house soon though so perhaps may add some stress but I tend not to worry about worrying.
Sometimes I feel like a golden retriever, just happy to be around.
God bless you dude. I’m happy for you. I’ll take some happiness from your post.
Same. But it took a long time. Once I realized we humans are hardwired with social and emotional connections being primary, my life got way better. There is no comparison to feeling connected — way better than chasing prestige, status, or knowledge.
Same, sometimes (usually while driving for some reason) I just get overwhelmed with happiness at how well my life is going. Yeah it’s not perfect, and obviously I was incredibly lucky to get where I am, but it’s more than enough for me to be truly content.
Similar position. I also realize how lucky I’ve been in life in comparison to the less fortunate.
I can’t imagine living a life where you are always happy. Would you even understand how happy you are without the contrast of unhappiness?
I think our current economic system makes that very difficult for a truly good person. In general I agree with what others are saying with respect to contentment over happiness and the fact that sorrow will always have its moments. But the current way to get to a place where you have enough to be content is largely in doing things that are about making money and not filling need. Humans typically get most satisfaction from being helpful, but our current system incentivizes selfishness and greed. It’s difficult for a person who isn’t naturally selfish or greedy to maintain “lasting happiness” in such a system. Although drugs might make you forget about the shittyness of our current world.
Remind me of a South Park end of episode moral, said by Butters this time :
Goth Kid : I guess you can join up with us if you want.
Goth Kid 2 : Yeah. We’re gonna go to the graveyard and write poems about death and how pointless life is.
Butters : Uh, uhm no thanks. I love life.
Stan : Huh? But you just got dumped.
Butters : Well yeah, and I’m sad, but at the same time I’m really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It’s like, it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. And the only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt somethin’ really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good, so I guess what I’m feelin’ is like a, beautiful sadness. I guess that sounds stupid.
Goth Kid 2 : Yeah.
Stan : No. No, Butters, that doesn’t sound stupid at all.
Butters : Well, thanks for offering to let me in your clique, guys, but, to be honest, I’d rather be a crying little pussy than a faggy Goth kid.
We have ups and downs and we need both if we seek happiness.
Life is a tragedy when looked at a whole. All is given and taken away. Appreciate the little moments you get in a day. Attempt not to let the dread of reality weigh on you too much. I don’t remember being anxious or worried before being alive so I have concluded for myself that life after death won’t exactly be worrisome either. Don’t want to die but I sure as hell don’t want to spend my life worried about death as that steals my time from me.
Sure. Happiness is something you need to curate, and it’s a state of mind. Lowered expectations can help. I don’t need a huge house and expensive cars and lots of material possessions. That is just more to maintain and pay for.
If I have my health and my family and friends are reasonably healthy/happy and I have free time to spend as I please, I’m happy. I try to play as much as I work, that’s the balance that works for me.
We evolved on the hustle, we were selectively bred for marginal utility.
We don’t want good, we want better.
Better than yesterday, better than the next guy, whatever, don’t care. Just an uptick in one way or another.
So no, you can’t sustain that indefinitely. If you’re making constant gains, then that saturates very quickly, and betterer becomes the new bare minimum.
Chasing that is destructive as hell, same as any addiction.
If you work out how to work the system to use losses to keep wins cheap, you may just win at life.
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I would say the pursuit and journey for happiness is the sweet spot. It’s why artists and studios jump right back into some of the hardest processes to go through as they try new things on a new project. After finishing their movie or game, that high of achieving all of those things eventually due down and the question of what happens next settles in.
Like climbing a mountain. Sure all the enjoyment is at the top, but once you learn to enjoy the grand scheme of the whole process, there lies happiness. Anything could happen, but it doesn’t quite matter because you’re still inspired and driven to climb your mountain.
There’s a very old Denis Leary “joke” about it. I wouldn’t normally take any kind of life advice from him, but this always stuck with me for some reason.
Language warning
“Happiness comes in small doses folks. It’s a cigarette butt, or a chocolate chip cookie or a five second orgasm. You cum, you smoke the butt you eat the cookie you go to sleep wake up and go back to fucking work the next morning, THAT’S IT! End of fucking list!”
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Yes. Can’t claim I’ve reached it for myself yet but I know people who are happy and content with their lives.
“You cannot fetch happy. Happy happens.”
-Dog of Wisdom
Let’s not aspire to happiness. Your brain is not wired to be happy all the time. Everyone will always come back down to baseline it’s programmed into our biology/psychology. Maybe it’s better to be content and accept the things you already have
Some of you say, “Joy is greater than sorrow,” and others say, “Nay, sorrow is the greater.” But I say unto you, they are inseparable. Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy. Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
- The Prophet, Khalil Gibran
Thanks for this. Went and read the whole thing and it’s beautiful!
This is a really cool quote, thanks for sharing it!
This is a new found perspective I’ve been trying to act on and it keeps me “happy” in the sense of being content. SSRIs helped me come out of a dark place and find that baseline and appreciate that what I have is just fine. I’ve been off them for a good 4-5 months now and have been able to keep acting on this perspective. Reducing the amount I drink and smoke has also really helped me stay at baseline. I was not consuming these things with my best interest in mind. I am better off only having these things in my home for special events.
I’ve got my little place to live, my cat, my little hobbies, and I go on my daily little walk. That’s just fine and enough to be content. I’m comfortable and don’t need much more. I don’t really need to search for bliss all the time. I’ll save that for a concert, food festival, hanging out with good friends, playing a new game, etc.
Well then is it better to say that we should redefine what happiness means? Or is it that happiness means something different to each individual? Sometimes I feel like what I define as happy is really just being content to someone else. This is more of a philosophical question, or maybe more specifically a metaphysical question. What is happiness?
