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Posadas [he/him, they/them] to [email protected]English • 1 year ago

Microplastics are stored in the balls

hexbear.net

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Microplastics are stored in the balls

hexbear.net

Posadas [he/him, they/them] to [email protected]English • 1 year ago
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https://twitter.com/guardianscience/status/1792567605401936091

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  • DPRK_Chopra [comrade/them]
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    34•1 year ago

    Hell yeah. Nut like a 3d printer extruder.

    • SkingradGuard [he/him, comrade/them]
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      5•1 year ago

      Brb I need to configure my e-steps

  • ghosts [he/him]
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    42•1 year ago

    deleted by creator

    • iridaniotter [she/her]
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      22•1 year ago

      Just use science to turn skin cells into gametes. We can’t do it with humans now but if we were going to go extinct, we’d figure it out.

      • emizeko [they/them]
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        14•1 year ago

        Children of Dandruff

        • Alaskaball [comrade/them]
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          15•1 year ago

          New Monty python song “every flake is sacred, dandruff is good. If a scrape is wasted, God gets quite irate.”

          • DyingOfDeBordom [none/use name]
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            7•1 year ago

            If you say dandruff is great then it would rhyme

            • Alaskaball [comrade/them]
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              8•1 year ago

              oh shit it actually is ‘great’ instead of ‘good’

  • Lurker123 [he/him]
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    26•1 year ago

    Has plastic surgery gone too far??

    No, but seriously, microplastics are horrifying.

  • Rojo27 [he/him]
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    24•1 year ago

    Half man, half microplastics

  • DragonBallZinn [he/him, they/them]
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    7•
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    1 year ago

    Now will this get white guys to care about the environment?

    “Pollution will literally make your dick smaller! Pollution will cause the most horrible thing imaginable…men will be…LESS MANLY!”

  • Abracadaniel [he/him]
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    21•
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    1 year ago

    if I have a vasectomy there’s nothing exiting my balls when I cum, does that mean my balls are slowly filling with plastic?

    • take_five_seconds [he/him, any]
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      13•
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      1 year ago

      you still bust with a vasectomy, but your gun’s not loaded anymore

      • RNAi [he/him]
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        21•
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        1 year ago

        After vasectomy, what you bust comes only from the prostate, while the swimmers are stuck in the balls, so yes, your balls will end up fully buoyant

        • take_five_seconds [he/him, any]
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          17•1 year ago

          ping pong balls

        • DyingOfDeBordom [none/use name]
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          7•1 year ago

          I really don’t like the sound or thought of this like i don’t want that cum just building up in there any more than i want plastic

          • red_stapler [he/him]
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            5•1 year ago

            I can’t tell if this is a bit, but it gets absorbed.

            • DyingOfDeBordom [none/use name]
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              2•1 year ago

              what if you cum faster than the rate of resorption

              • red_stapler [he/him]
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                1•1 year ago

                The bits that are produced in the balls aren’t produced on-demand so the frequency of violating the volcel oath doesn’t really matter.

    • CommunistBear [he/him]
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      16•1 year ago

      If I double or triple my busting am I emptying my balls of the buildup? Like donating blood and lessening the amount of PFAS in your body? I’m only partially joking

      • Mindfury [he/him]
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        18•1 year ago

        Much like the regular police protect capital and property, the volcel police are protecting big plastic & petroleum

        • VOLCEL_POLICE [it/its]B
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          10•1 year ago

          The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.

          نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.

          volcel-police

          • JoeByeThen [he/him, they/them]
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            10•1 year ago

            acab-3

  • 2Password2Remember [he/him]
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    28•
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    1 year ago

    tired: hard dick

    wired: hard balls

    Death to America

  • SorosFootSoldier [he/him, they/them]
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    54•
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    1 year ago

    My balls are so full and heavy with plastic I’m shooting out hot liquid g.i. joes every time I coom.

    • Alaskaball [comrade/them]
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      20•1 year ago

      That’s why they call you the 3D printer peen

  • Evilphd666 [he/him, comrade/them]
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    13•1 year ago

    Wonder if they disrupt hormones?

    • ashinadash [she/her]
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      11•1 year ago

      sicko-yes

      • Des [she/her, they/them]
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        10•1 year ago

        im like “god that would be so fucking cool” as i dine on a credit card with a knife and fork

  • EstraDoll [she/her, he/him]
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    38•
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    1 year ago

    t girls solidarity barbie dolls

    being full of plastic

  • SnowySkyes [she/her]
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    13•1 year ago

    I guess it’s a good thing I got mine removed. One less place to store the substance that will probably kill me in 30 years.

  • Owl [he/him]
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    22•1 year ago

    When everyone’s balls fill up with plastics, we’ll invent time travel, and send them back in time to be used as super bouncy balls. That’s where those come from. It’s very important that we keep polluting the environment with microplastics to preserve the stable time loop.

  • HexBroke [any, comrade/them]
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    20•1 year ago

    A large variety of factors, including tobacco, alcohol, and drug use; psychological stress; obesity; insufficient sleep; and environmental factors such as air pollutants and heavy metals, have been identified as potential risk factors affecting semen quality.

    Although the evidence is conflicting, our review suggests that the potential decline in male sperm counts does not necessarily translate to a decline in male fertility.

    • GalaxyBrain [they/them]
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      13•1 year ago

      I’ve gotta have the worst fucking cum

    • JohnBrownNote [comrade/them, des/pair]
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      13•1 year ago

      fewer sperm but higher quality

      • betelgeuse [comrade/them]
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        12•1 year ago

        just one very powerful sperm, like a koi

        • JohnBrownNote [comrade/them, des/pair]
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          7•1 year ago

          sounds like a 1950s b-movie

          • AernaLingus [any]
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            2•
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            1 year ago

            It exists (although it’s a modern homage to that style)

  • supafuzz [comrade/them]
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    32•1 year ago

    I’m sure that won’t have any consequences whatsoever

  • pumpchilienthusiast [comrade/them, any]
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    46•1 year ago

    life in plastic, it’s fantastic

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