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My balls are so full and heavy with plastic I’m shooting out hot liquid g.i. joes every time I coom.
That’s why they call you the 3D printer peen
Brace yourselves for some concern trolling about fertility rates
How do they know? No one’s checked mine. Can yall have someone sent over?
You don’t get regular visits from your neighborhood ball and penis inspector?
I’d bet money if this existed it’d be British
oi mate you got a loicense for them testicules
sorry mate regulation says yours are too large
The IOF sperm squad checked you while you slept
life in plastic, it’s fantastic
Half man, half microplastics
Has plastic surgery gone too far??
No, but seriously, microplastics are horrifying.
What if a mutation occurs and the plastic becomes part of the baby’s DNA making him extremely flexible and immortal
And with the power to… MELT
deleted by creator
Just use science to turn skin cells into gametes. We can’t do it with humans now but if we were going to go extinct, we’d figure it out.
Children of Dandruff
New Monty python song “every flake is sacred, dandruff is good. If a scrape is wasted, God gets quite irate.”
If you say dandruff is great then it would rhyme
oh shit it actually is ‘great’ instead of ‘good’
if I have a vasectomy there’s nothing exiting my balls when I cum, does that mean my balls are slowly filling with plastic?
you still bust with a vasectomy, but your gun’s not loaded anymore
After vasectomy, what you bust comes only from the prostate, while the swimmers are stuck in the balls, so yes, your balls will end up fully buoyant
I really don’t like the sound or thought of this like i don’t want that cum just building up in there any more than i want plastic
I can’t tell if this is a bit, but it gets absorbed.
what if you cum faster than the rate of resorption
The bits that are produced in the balls aren’t produced on-demand so the frequency of violating the volcel oath doesn’t really matter.
ping pong balls
If I double or triple my busting am I emptying my balls of the buildup? Like donating blood and lessening the amount of PFAS in your body? I’m only partially joking
Much like the regular police protect capital and property, the volcel police are protecting big plastic & petroleum
The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.
نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.
When everyone’s balls fill up with plastics, we’ll invent time travel, and send them back in time to be used as super bouncy balls. That’s where those come from. It’s very important that we keep polluting the environment with microplastics to preserve the stable time loop.
t girls
barbie dollsbeing full of plastic
A large variety of factors, including tobacco, alcohol, and drug use; psychological stress; obesity; insufficient sleep; and environmental factors such as air pollutants and heavy metals, have been identified as potential risk factors affecting semen quality.
Although the evidence is conflicting, our review suggests that the potential decline in male sperm counts does not necessarily translate to a decline in male fertility.
I’ve gotta have the worst fucking cum
fewer sperm but higher quality
just one very powerful sperm, like a koi
sounds like a 1950s b-movie
It exists (although it’s a modern homage to that style)
Gross get em out of me
And by that i mean my testicles
I got you fam!
This will only hurt once… But damn will it hurt! Afterwards you do me, yeah?
I’ve been practicing microplastics retention for 10 years now. So far I have already mastered levitation, reading minds and even more amzingly, I am extremely close to having full control over the size of my moobs.
Now will this get white guys to care about the environment?
“Pollution will literally make your dick smaller! Pollution will cause the most horrible thing imaginable…men will be…LESS MANLY!”
