Aging hipster.

An animal, biped, featherless

Vaguely human-like

I’m just a 12-inch 60 watt guitar loudspeaker with tailored mid-range frequency response primarily used to record metal trying to find other guitar loudspeakers with tailored mid-range frequency responses primarily used to record metal

I look like the archetypical IT guy. 30s, balding, overweight, like I’m constantly about to have a nervous breakdown (I am.)

Not telling my mother’s maiden name or first pet, but I feel like I should weigh in with all the non-serious responses.

Bald, beardy, tall and white. Reasonably attractive and fit, so not total neckbeard material. I dress kind of business casual.

an actual goblin. like, with the rusty scimitar, three copper coins, and leather armor. The full ensemble.

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Like Grimace.

Like a child cosplaying as an adult

Nice try glowies