When you’re at work, do you ever find yourself fantasizing and being hyper motivated about being home to continue THAT thing you’re really excited about or should be doing. But then once you get home all motivation evaporates and you end up doing nothing and feeling guilty about it?

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    81 year ago

    Every day bud, every day

    I’ve come to terms with it, it doesn’t upset me like it used to, but I think that’s mostly because what I do for work makes me happy. If it’s not that it’s probably work brings such exhaustion that im to tired to care 😅

    I spent 8 hours ripping out old beverage lines from a boat, tomorrow I get to install all new lines, setup 4 bars and rodent “proof” them

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    31 year ago

    I do, but I’ve gotten better at it. More often than not I just struggle to get started. So just forcing myself to get started results in actually doing what I wanted to do. Sometimes I’m just exhausted, and I accept that I’m just gonna “waste” the evening with video games or something. Rather have some enjoyment than nothing.

    That being said, I’m still learning to be better. I’m still too judgemental and unrealistic to myself

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    91 year ago

    Every single day. “Oh I should work on a side project and get independent income so I don’t have to do this tedious shit.” Nope. “Ok then I should do one of the several hobbies I already spent money on.” Nope. “Video games?” Nope. So tired of my own behavior.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    81 year ago

    Yes totally, i can’t even enjoy video games anymore because the entire time there’s this little voice in the back of my head that says “you’re wasting your life”

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    21 year ago

    Pretty much every day. I think it’s because we have a limited capacity and for many of us our job requires us to mask to some degree and it just takes all of our energy, even if it isn’t physically or even intellectually demanding. There’s no reason I should feel completely drained and demotivated by just sending emails, but it is what it is.

    I try to go somewhere quiet and lay on the floor or something. Or literally touch grass - get feet in the dirt, listen to the wind in the trees, that sort of thing. And stay away from screens for a bit. I’m still trying to find ways to help regulate my nervous system since I need different things on different days but those are some of the most effective for me.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    41 year ago

    Regularly I am focused, fixated, excited for another activity - but whatever I am not currently doing. Once I start, I lose interest quickly and end up thinking about some other activity

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    411 year ago

    Same, and I’m trying to fight against it. I’ve noticed that when coming home I am not just procrastinating, but actually exhausted. Idk if it’s due to concentrating all day, or something with me, but I do know that I am tired.

    I’ve started to actually embrace it, and for the time until I get dinner, I just rest. Might sleep even. There’s no point in fighting, as I aren’t in the mental space to do things. Then after dinner I’m back to do stuff, maybe even later in the night as I am more rested from my nap.

    Although another take on it is that things are lot more enticed to do things when you can’t/don’t have them.

    I am not a doctor, nor claim what I do is healthy, but that’s just my experience. If anyone got tips I’m listening

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      31 year ago

      Me too. I wish I could devote the amount of time/energy to hobbies that I do to work, but my job pays for that time and attention, so they get it

      I’ve got so used to that way of operating, I actually have some difficulty marshalling that same kind of focus (such as it is…) to hobbies or projects I actually care about.

      It takes me a pretty long “runway” (like longer than 2 days without paid work) to build up the gumption to even consider doing something self actualizing.

      Even then, I’ll usually just do a udemy course that’s good for my career or whatever. I’m fkn corpo brained mates 🫨

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        English
        21 year ago

        I empathize with you so much I wish I could just give you a hug. For real.

        It’s the state religion of “total work.” Most of us are kept on such a short leash with such exhausting drudgery and with the background of every waking moment shouting about how our situation will destabilize at any moment, so we have to deliver more “value” lest we get left behind to die.

        So we start weighing every single thing in the languages of currency, and business, and “return on investment.” The final and often terminal corpo-brain-rot stage is when we convince ourselves we actually like this state of being.

        Anymore, people can’t just do, or be, everything has to be a “side hustle” or “monetizable”. It somehow paywalls the arts or hobbies into being something pursuable only if you’ve got limitless energy or are born into an environment that fosters it.

        I dunno what the answer is…my therapist kept trying to convince me to set aside a block of time that I respect for things like this. I still want to do that, but I’m in this community for a reason LMAO.

        But every act of creation for its own sake is an act of rebellion against being turned into a commoditized consumer-laborer. An act of humanity.

        It sounds so backwards, but maybe try to join a group or other kind of “accountability” friends that will hold you to doing this thing you actually enjoy. It might be really hard to break out of this perverse culture, but you might even find more energy if you allow your inner child to play once in a while. :)

        Whatever it is that your soul lights up for, I’m praying you find a way to pursue it. We don’t get a second chance. <3

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          English
          21 year ago

          The final and often terminal corpo-brain-rot stage is when we convince ourselves we actually like this state of being.

          Ack. Very much “Winston Smith loved big brother” vibes. But I understand how someone might get tired of raging and raging and only getting sadder and less happy. I think I flirt with it at times myself, but then feel guilty for being a content little worker cog. It’s a betrayal of one’s human dignity, but easier for some to give in to being one of these “consumer-labourers.”

          . It might be really hard to break out of this perverse culture, but you might even find more energy if you allow your inner child to play once in a while. :)

          That’s good advice. I’m actually in a game dev book club and a writing club lol, but often these become another reason to feel guilty for not actualising more… Maybe I need to shift my perspective on them… Emphasise fun rather than thinking of them as tasks like I would do with work.

          Thank you for your thoughtful comment! This is the second such one from you that (insofar as I look at user names) has truly touched me. Truly, I appreciate it. <3

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      11 year ago

      I often do that too. Sometimes I literally lay on the floor. I’m becoming more and more aware of my limited capacity and I’m trying to figure out better ways to regulate it so I don’t feel entirely zapped all the time.

  • @[email protected]OP
    link
    fedilink
    English
    111 year ago

    Speaking of work, do you guys ever start a new work project with full focus, then if for some reason you’re ahead of schedule, you lose it all, until you’re late and sometimes too late ?

    It happens often and makes me feel incompetent in a position I know I’m capable.

  • ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠
    link
    fedilink
    English
    51 year ago

    Yep. Whatever project seems more interesting than what I’m doing at work, but less interesting once I get home and have options.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    41 year ago

    So far every comment has perfectly described my situation. I’m with you 100% OP, I feel like this every single day

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    81 year ago

    Sometimes I get obsessed with something at work, an issue or something that I can’t get to work and sometimes I continue what I was doing when I get home, depending on how tired and frustrated I am.

    I work in IT.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      21 year ago

      I still do this too, but I try really hard to resist the urge, because it rarely leads anywhere good

    • ComradeSharkfucker
      link
      fedilink
      English
      2
      edit-2
      1 year ago

      This doesnt exactly translate to your experience bc I am a student but last semester I took two upper level math courses and because of how much homework I was doing in those classes and how interesting I found the subject to be, I would end up seeing and thinking about that math until I fell asleep those nights. I dreamed about fucking math 😭. I would go to my girlfriends house an hour after finishing my homework and in the middle of hanging out I would have to stop and go finish a problem I was trying to solve before but couldn’t because I just had a new idea