I wish I had learned piano. I’ve spent my entire life wishing I would learn piano, but I’m too awkward to book lessons and/or commit to sitting down with an instructor. But as a kid I had a natural ear for playing and could figure out a portion of most songs if I spent enough time poking at the keys. My daughter (4) has been fidgeting with her little keyboard a lot. I’m wondering if we shouldn’t learn together in the future.

I often close my eyes and move my fingers as though I’m playing naturally, and I swear I know where all of the keys are. It’s more than just pretend. It’s like it’s been here all along, but I’ve never honed it. I know that I could play something beautiful if I just fucking tried.

That’s ok. I like to play music but guitar just isn’t that fun for me either. I have trouble remembering fingering and chords and it’s hard on my squishy delicate nerd fingers. The musical instruments I’ve been able to keep with and practice I did so because I just liked messing with them and making nice sounds. Did you make this post hoping people would encourage you to keep at it? You don’t have to keep at it if it’s not fun, you can sell the guitars to some local aspiring musician. What I would recommend is trying out some other instruments, maybe at a music store. Something drove you to try out guitar, maybe that creative spark just needs a piano, or a glockenspiel, or a zither or something else instead. Just… try before you buy next time.

Yesterday there was another AskLemmy about what was the easiest instrument to learn and I felt like anyone asking that question without already having a clear vision in their head of what they wanted to be playing as far as instruments and music was just going to waste their time and money, but even trying to be very polite I thought it was too negative so I didn’t post it.

I think people think music will be a fun relaxing hobby, but it’s really like training to be an athlete. You won’t get any good unless it’s something you truly want to do because it’s a ton of work and a good instrument is expensive and I feel you should really start by taking lessons so you didn’t waste time on trial and error figuring out what to learn instead of learning how to do it.

Craigslist and eBay are full of gear that was barely touched because music is hard. It can be very rewarding, but you will still hate it at times. I tell my teacher all the time that I hate her 3/4 of the time because she constantly challenges me, but by the end of that week, I’ve put in enough time to master the lesson, and then I’m so happy and feel the rest of the time was worth it. It’s like some people love going to the gym and getting those endorphins or runners getting a runners high. Some people live for that, but for others, it’s just hell.

It sounds like you don’t enjoy the time and money you’ve spent. Just live and learn. Maybe come back to it later in life and see if things change. But don’t force yourself into hating it.

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Guitar is the only hobby I acquired that never took. I wanted it to take, but did not have the funds to pursue lessons.

I could not get over the beginner hurdles of how to strum, how to really hold the pick, and so forth. If I could have taken lessons or gotten past that I might have learned and still be playing today instead of seeing the case just sitting there collecting dust.

I’ve been told that I used to be really good at playing the piano by ear, and I used to be really into it! I became more enamoured with visual art though, so I shifted my focus to that. Perhaps I should try playing the piano again sometime… The title theme of Pikmin 4 always reminds me of when I used to play the piano, and if I picked it up again, this would be my starting theme!

I think name people have a thought similar to “it would be cool to know a instrument” but they just don’t actually enjoy it when they sit down with it.

I found a more intuitive instrument (my voice)

I got myself a ukelele during lockdown. Inexpensive and I figured easy to learn. And it is. But the problem is, it’s not a rhythm instrument. And I can’t sing.

So it’s me strumming away and quietly butchering songs. I can not perform for the enjoyment of anyone and that makes me sad.

I think I’m one of the lucky ones with a natural aptitude for music, but I don’t quite take it seriously enough to really hone my skills and become an expert at it. Whenever I’ve tried, I’ve found it to be more stressful than it is fun. I’m not trying to make it a side hustle, so if it stops feeling fun, I back off of it.

I guess it also depends on the instrument a bit. I mostly play solo, and some instruments don’t seem to lend themselves well to that for me. Piano is my instrument of choice these days.

I’ve played and given up the mandolin several times over tge past several years. Longest continuous before now was maybe three months. What I’ve learned through my own learning process is:

1. Practice in time. Even if it’s slow.
2. Playing with backing tracks helps a ton
3. Posture is key. On my current streak of playing I was able to go from playing the melody of kids songs to the rhythm of some grateful dead songs (at 80 bpm instead of 140 bpm) after spending time watching videos of how to hold and sit. I then had to relearn all my fingerings but it didn’t take nearly as long this time.
4. Sucking is just part of learning anything new. I guess one either enjoys the act of improving independent of the current result or one doesn’t.

Post script: The reason I quit when I do is because I become frustrated with plateaus. I now believe a lot of these plateaus came from bad mechanics. My pinky could not reach the 7th fret no matter how much I practiced. I could not switch chords without destroying my rhythm or muting extra strings etc.

For me, it was an inability to only finger strings properly, even after about six months of practice. My hands, even back in my teens, were huge. That includes big fingers (size 14 ring at the time)

Since I didn’t have the freedom to try other instruments in a useful way, I just decided I had better things to do with my time than fuck around making dissonant sounds on a guitar.

But, before you give up entirely, maybe try learning a simple song all the way. That was what actually made my decision. I knew what it was supposed to sound like, knew where my fingers were vs how the strings were supposed to be used, and knew I’d never make the music that drove me to want to try in the first place.

If you can manage to learn one song and play it to the point you can tell what you’re playing, I say keep going. From that point, it’s a matter of practice and figuring out what lessons work for you.

But it is a learning curve that kills a lot of potential players of any instruments. I hang with an old high school friend that fronts a band. I’ve had this conversation with him (and he reached the same conclusion I did after teaching me a little on both tenor and bass guitar, that I might so something, but it wouldn’t be what I wanted) about getting past that wall.

He said that in person lessons are the best way to get past the initial “what the fuck is going on” stage where nothing seems to work. A lot of people pick up a book, or watch videos and try to get going. But those methods don’t work for everyone. So you kinda need someone that can give active feedback on all the little things that go into learning your first song.

And that’s what he says the goal should be; you pick a simple song, learn it, and then improve on it. Takes a few weeks for a lot of people to get something like amazing grace or Mary had a little lamb down to the point that it sounds right. But you have to start simple because you’ve got to get your hands used to the job. It can take a thousand plus repetitions of a given action to commit it to memory in a way it becomes fluid and natural (which is a thing in martial arts, btw, you have drill the hell out of a technique before you can spar with it).

But it’s also okay to give up. It’s your time, your energy. If you’ve discovered that the return on that isn’t fast enough to give you what you want/need, why waste part of your life banging against the wall? Sometimes a learning curve isn’t worth climbing.

Reading your replies to comments here, it’s definitely your attitude that prevented you from learning guitar. Put it down and learn piano or keyboard. However, this time, try to somehow have a positive outlook.