CW:Venting
I feel like I just really need to vent, the past month or so has been hard for me. I have been getting misgendered more and more often, I feel like I went backward, (gained weight maybe) I can hardly look at myselfd a ton of the time I feel so awful. Today was kinda a boiling point, I went somewhere with my dad (who has not had the best track record) he repetitively misgenders me, my son, deadname, and he commented on my weight. I got really mad when he was trying to invite someone to eat with us and said HE HAD TO MISGENDER ME cause if people at work found out they would be mad (this is Arkansas) and I asked him why would he invite someone who he had to misgender me in front of. I have been so stressed ever since I graduated, the job market scares me, landlords in other states scare me, generally just feel awful and feel like I am gonna fall flat on my ass also living in a red state you know your rights are one SCOTUS case from being gone for decades.
god-fucking-dammit I feel you on the being terrified of the various markets(I’m in a more secure position, but still in a very Red state)
I am so sorry you’re having a rough time girl, and stuff is messed up/offspring song) but some (possibly stupidly Hopeful) part of me is hopeful things will get better someday.
I am so proud that you have been able to come out to your parents! That feels miles ahead of me, I’ve only come out to 1 person and part of that is because I don’t really even know where I am as far as gender identity. I feel literally nothing when asking “how do I feel about myself”.
You sound so much more confident than myself!
That is quite a lot, and I really feel how all that can drag you down further.
I think a big chunk of the generation of our parents, who always demands that people should have some respect and be decent, have rapidly taken a more than conservative standpoint, indoctrinated by right wing news.
I am nb (but not very visibly) and I’m neither out to my parents nor my parents in law, cause I’m sure they’ll handle it just like your dad.
We obviously disagree on many topics though, so since I got my independence, I reduced contact to them when they constantly overstepped. This worked wonders, since they suddenly realised it’s more important for them to meet up with me/ us than blabbering anti-woke garbage.
Also, venting here and reaching out for support networks is always great when you are down (though all the harder to do, I know).
The political situation in your state is horrible, but we will prevail and things will turn for the better eventually. 💜
And concerning the weight part, I personally love to do martial arts, it’s an easy way to lose weight and gives you a sense of knowing how to defend yourself. I could imagine more queer people need dojos right now, so maybe there is a group to be found or founded already.
also FYI, I do not live with him and I am 21 so he has no legal power of me
