Guillotines.
y’all qaeda had those on Jan6. They can have 'em.
Samurai sword. But, probably they all have those as well.
That wasn’t really a thing in medieval times. I’m afraid an axe will have to do.
Trebuchet?
Imagine using this for execution
Especially when you could hold a vote, letting the people decide the method. One option: yeet the person from the trebuchet. The second: yeet something at them from a trebuchet!
Bring outchyo
deadvote!!Yeet a person at this person from a trebuchet!
Of course! It’s the superior siege engine.
First used in ancient China around IV century BC.
We can get tripantium though, advanced evolution of it invented in XIII century France.
It’s okay, we’re getting rid of history lessons too!
It was an instrument used by the burghers in bringing about the end of European feudal lordship, replacing the feudal mode of production with the capitalist one.
It goes Yah
Sic semper tyrranis
This might fit in mediaeval times, with the earliest possible recorded use in the 13th century, but it’s certainly not well-known until the early modern period and most famous right on the border between early and late modern.
And the billionaires will be the first to try it out!
Cloaks and leather boots
Ok, yes, but also with all of the modern advancements in textiles please.
I like it. Stay original for those that want it but add the modern for that that want that.
Medieval?
Receiving land for farting good.
Fucking guillotines already
Isn’t that more of a renaissance thing
The last time France used it was in 1977, so while it might have started a while back they only stopped using it less than 50 years ago.
FUCKING 1977???
Well another medieval thing we’re bringing back is not learning history
The US already has plenty of that
Can we get guilds back?
Some people see guilds as a form of worker union providing job protection but they are also oligopolies for business owners, resulting in higher price for goods and less employment opportunities overall due to the “you got to be a member so you can do business” aspect of it
Insular industry groups with a monopoly on a certain craft or ability to perform a service? Big Tech is already fulfilling that role
deleted by creator
Trebuchets aren’t really a tool for defence. They have tremendous range and aren’t exactly speedy to load, aim, and launch.
Unless you meant defence in the same way that a country’s military operations are known as “defence forces” regardless of intent, in which case carry on.
Guillotines
I would love it if taverns became a thing again, but only if they kept the time period theme up.
Taverns kind of are a thing, they’re just called hotels now.
Unfortunately they have a significantly lower focus on alcohol and food - a stark lack of mead and mutton in particular.
deleted by creator
They’re just called pubs nowadays and many of them are still in business, with drink, food and music downstairs, and rooms for sleeping upstairs.
The one in my neighbourhood is newly reopened and serves fancy craft beer these days, but the basics are actually pretty much unchanged since a tavern first opened in that house sometime in the 1640s.
Having most of the year off for festivals and holy days
Good news: take up subsistence farming, no healthcare, no electricity, and make everything yourself, and you too can have half the year “off”.
Don’t threaten me with a good time
I mean the reality was that the time “off” was spent farming their own land, taking care of animals, fixing the house and doing the insane number of household tasks that come with premodern living. Spend a few days just cooking in a medieval style, and you’ll quickly realize it’s a LOT of work.
Medieval cooking sounds a little bit fun. Besides, maybe, all the slaughtering of animals and heavy use of entrails.
And gathering your own firewood, and water, and making twice as much to prepare for winter, and the strongly reduced options.
I mean yeah, it IS fun for a bit, I do medieval reenactment, obviously I enjoy it. But doing it every day absolutely sucks.
Meh,
- They had horrible healthcare they couldn’t afford and WE have horrible healthcare we can’t afford
- They spent a lot of time at festivals and with their communities helping each other and WE spend a lot of time chatting on our phones, but mostly playing games.
- They spent a lot of time outdoors doing a lot of work but keeping active, and we can sometimes go for hikes or walks, but we’re Americans, we as a whole, don’t.
- They knew how an could fix things around the farm, we can watch youtube videos unless it’s electronic or DRM.
- They had witch hunts and misinformation and WE have witch hunts and misinformation.
- All of the food they grew was organic but they had to grow it themselves and we have to pay an arm and a leg for non-poisoned food.
- They spent all day working for the king and we spend all day working for billionaires.
- They have poor starving people during famines, we have a too big percentage of poor starving people (13% of US population was food insecure during 2023).
- They had xenophobia and WE have xenophobia.
All of the food they grew was organic
Without someone inspecting the water and the soil, how safe was it? ♪♫ Hello typhoid my old friend… ♫♪
Except for that, yeah. We still have listeria outbreaks, etc. that kill people. It’s not like we’ve moved on from that, and that’s with all of the poisoned food to make it “safer.”
When you delve into the details of what those bullet points actually entailed, they were all far far worse in medieval times.
So you think in order for people to not work their lives away we would have to take up subsistence farming? With all the tech and machines we have the only viable way to not be a company man is to give away all of the luxuries we currently have?
How’s that Kool aid tasting?
That’s not remotely close to what I think the world SHOULD BE like.
It is, unfortunately, what I think the world IS like.
I’m also pointing out that if you want that aspect of the middle ages, you can have it right now by also taking all the crappy aspects of the middle ages…
Depending on the state and one’s farming capabilities, some people could already be halfway there! At least part of the year
take up subsistence farming
Where?
Gotta buy land first. Like 10 acers if you want to grow most of your own food.
Plenty of places you can do this. Put “homesteading” into a search engine of your choice and you’ll get more information on the topic than you can handle.
You’ll also pretty quickly realize its a very hard, tedious life and we have it pretty good in many ways in the modern world.
Japan sells rural land for cheap
Getting the visa is another story though.
Is Alaska still giving away free land?
No, but it’s like a dollar per square meter if you’re remote enough…
Trebuchets - the superior siege engine. (Disclaimer: probably not medieval)
Nah you’re spot on there. Trebuchets are absolutely mediaeval.
Mediaeviael
you ok there bud?
k
I wish I could have seen that as it happened, live
Invented in ancient China.
… During the medieval period…
IV century BCE is not medieval no matter where you look at it.
I think when most people talk about trebuchets, they more specifically mean a counterweight trebuchet, which is first concretely attributed to the Ayyubids in the 12th century.
Well to be fair, for the intended use of yeeting landlords, burgies and their political pawns over fairly large distances traction trebuchet would be much worse.
Ha! Good point.
Guess that makes me king of my own domain! 😆
Guillotines for kings
Sorcery, alchemy, soothsaying, baby. Come one come all I’ll cure what ails you. I’ll summon portals and turn lead into #gold.
Or maybe the town crier. Hear ye, hear ye, elon musk hast tweeted about his balls.
To be fair, quacks that claim to be able to do magical stuff are still around, some do quite well well for themselves even
Things made out of pewter
I’ve got two pewter tankards. It’s still great for English ale.
Mugs! Love me some lead poisoning.
Free time
You seriously think they had more free time?
