Even at this time, this was an old computer. I remember the sticker on the front said it was built for Windows ME or one of the OSes from that era before Windows XP.
User complained that the computer was running very slow, slower than it realistically should.
I opened it up to clean it since I figured that was a good place to start.
The bottom of the chassis was disgusting. The dust had accumulated so much that it became a mound of dirt. And seated on top of the mound of dirt dust was a dead roach on its back.
Found literal bugs in the computer.
One monday morning an employee called and said she forgot her password. I told her that I need her username to reset it. She told me that she had also forgotten her username. I guess she must have had a fun weekend :)
Btdt. Forgetting a username is often more annoying than a password. Many login and reset forms let you use an email address or phone number or something instead for probably just that reason. Some places will need a support contact.
That’s why most companies with fewer than say like a thousand people choose a username that’s almost always first letter of first name, last name and then a couple of numbers.
If you can’t remember your own name then there are bigger issues than whether you can sign into the computer.
Once had to explain to an old lady (in full-time employment in a job that requires use of a computer) that the mouse moves around on the desk surface. She was trying to move the cursor by putting the mouse on the screen.
When trying to teach my grandpa how to use a computer, he kept lifting it into the air to make it go up on the screen. We never got past that. Also double clicking was click…1.5second…click. Couldn’t get him going any faster.
Not me, but I recall a story from a while back. ISP tech answers call from an irate customer who isn’t able to get online. After basic troubleshooting, the tech advises the customer to power cycle the cable modem and router…the customer scoffs, how can I do that when my power is out? 😂
Was working the counter at a repair shop. This really old guy had come in for a data backup and a wipe/restore. We performed said service, and reloaded the data from the backup back on, and his outlook data was encrypted with a password he couldn’t remember.
This infuriated him, he specifically asked me if I wanted HIM to “Shove the desktop tower up his ass, stick his head in after it, and give it a sniff.”
People are wild.
Well but it makes sense you would’ve wanted to him to do that if the guy was being that much of a prick
Not tech support, but in tech, a software team with a bunch of naive Indian expats named one of the software sprints “mandigo” after Django Unchained. Only me and and Northern Irishman got it and we laughed our asses off.
First, you misspelled mandingo and, second, if they knew enough English to catch that word then they knew what they were doing, at least to a degree. In the movie the only time the term is said it’s in a conversation about having slaves fight each other.
In short: calling that bullshit. Hell I’d bet $50 you haven’t even watched the movie.
people that use their recycle bin as storage. there have been multiple. once I was at their desk, looked at their trashcan next to their desk and asked if it would be smart to store stuff in there. they got the point after that.
or the new user I setup, went to lunch, came back and needed his password reset because he forgot it already.
Had a colleague who did this regularly, till I put his new pw on a postit, and that in his coat pocket. Worked as long as the weather stayed same… It escalated away, until he let his gf call me for his password, because he did not dare to anymore. We finally gave up and set his pw fixed to “123456”. He was really good at the job, only not with his pw.
Should have given him a USB with write protected password in text file. Tell him to keep it on his person
Ok, I’m at my computer and plugged in my USB. Now what do I do?
The “store things in the recycle bin” people are the victims of a Lotus Notes-ism. The Trash folder in Notes was (is?) excluded from storage quotas, so some people started storing anything they wanted to keep there. Those people told other people to do the same without explaining why and it took on a life of its own as a technological fairy tale.
A long time ago had an attorney call in looking for help dialing internationally. I said “sure we can help you call abroad” and he said, “well first I’d have to get her number.”
…I think about that shit all the time and its been like 12 years.
I don’t know if that’s a great or terrible dad joke.
The best dad jokes are both.
Once upon a time before there were smartphones…
The internet existed already, e-mail as well.
We got a letter on real paper.
The guy was asking about some weird stuff going on in our software on his PC screen. He had included some screen shots, and referred to them in his questions. Smart guy, so far 😉
It turned out the screen shots were Polaroids. Smallest possible size! And they did not just show that window on the screen where the software was doing things. It was also showing his whole desktop. And his real desk. And the wall shelves around…
I have kept one of the photos to this day 😂
no link to pic?
What’s your address they’ll mail it to you ;p
lol
I was on a call once where some guy initially wanted to like block channels or something. After like 2 minutes it turned into some crazy Trump-esque rant about basically nothing. Some of my favorite quotes:
-
These people out here talking like they no what’s what. They don’t know shit. But big daddy… he knows.
-
I see these fools running around here playing games. I don’t play games. I play real life.
I read that in the voice of Dwight Schrute
-
“Can you tell me why my printer won’t print yellow?”
“Well first, it is a color printer? And there is yellow ink in it?”
“Oh, yes!”
“Can you print green?”
“Green works fine!”
“. . . That printer only has 3 colors of ink, if you’re printing green that means yellow is coming out…”
Tried uninstalling and re-installing printer drivers, changing cables, cleaning cycles, examining the print head, everything seemed to be fine…
“Oh, oh, oh! Should I be printing on WHITE paper?”
“. . . Are… are you printing on yellow paper?”
Industrial but guess it counts.
Giant motor is supposed to kick on, run for a moment in reverse, wind down, and then go forward. What is happening instead is it kicks on then the whole system goes into stopped state. Two days on the phone and I can’t figure it out, pouring over the code, trying everything.
Suddenly the guy in the field coughs and says “sorry it’s really dusty here”.
It clicks in my head. I tell him to manually push down on the contactor. He says he feels resistance I tell him that’s good and push harder. It give in and I tell him to start again. Works perfectly.
The dust had combined with the internal oil of the contactor making a sludge. The contactor has two coils, a high torque high current one for starting and a low torque low current one to hold. Not much different than a starter in a car. The sludge has stopped the second coil from engaging keeping it locked in high current. Since it was DC the coil kept drawing more and more amps until the power supply couldn’t keep the voltage high enough. Which made the PLC halt. When the PLC halted it erased all the temporary bits including the one that said it was running. The PLC stopped telling the contactor to engage and the power went back to normal.
The sequence was maybe a tenth of a second.
Loved how you broke it down even though I didn’t understand much
Thanks. Here maybe this
This is a small contactor. When that blue center part goes in 1L1 becomes connected to the 2T1 and the same things happens to the other two. Basically I am using a little bit of electricity to flip a switch on or off. Turning on or off the motor.
The blue center part is what I asked him to push in by hand.
This was way back but had a basic support call for someone who couldn’t get their mouse to work.
After speaking with them for over ten minutes and just being generally confused I cut to the chase and asked, “Ma’am, what are you doing with your mouse right now?”
The answer? She was moving the mouse around on the monitor.
I had a user ask us to solve her problems slower because it made her feel stupid when we solved them immediately.
Years ago I was working in a sales / support call center. One day in between calls someone posed the question of if you had to sleep with someone of the same sex who would it be. Obvuois answers were things like George Clooney Brad Pitt etc. one of our team was extremely introverted so it was normal for him not to participate.
3 weeks later he pipes up, “I’ve given this a lot of thought and If I had to sleep with a man it would be Jesus Christ” 3 weeks later. Blows my mind he was in deep contemplation for so long. I still am taken a bit back.
The reason? “Jesus seems like he’d be a considerate lover with strong hands.” Beautiful.
He was a carpenter after all
IIRC, a more literal translation of his profession would have been ‘home builder,’ and since most homes in the area at the time would have been stone, he would have been a stonemason. Jesus would have been ripped.
