I’m visiting extended family for the first time in a long time, and one of my nieces has reached the impressionable age where she keeps mimicking things that she sees me do. what’s a really funny but fairly harmless thing I should teach her to do?
I taught my kid to say “mom drinks beer for breakfast” as soon as she could talk. Wasn’t that popular with the family xD
Reminds me of the people who taught their bird to say “mom beats me! oOoOoOoOo”
Lol! That reminds me of how (when AOL was thing and I was probably way too young to be on it but would use it to talk to family) my mom had me type out and send “I bought a bunch of cars and RECTUM!” via email or AIM out of nowhere to random family members with no context, even though I had no idea why that was funny, but she thought it was hilarious. Which is pretty damn funny looking back!
Taught her to walk with her hands put behind like an old man https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7BOTUuz_t7A
Flicking your cheek just right to make the water drop noise
💯
OP, do this one
Or making the mouth pop effect with your thumb
This is evil
(not exactly the same noise but can be used to the same effect)
https://youtu.be/F5bW8H-kNZs?si=g6cdvXnLXHRLzBXJ
Okay don’t actually do this
Teach her to order something off a foreign-language menu, invite the family out to dinner, and see if she can place her order fluently.
Doing the “Five year old white girl shocks waitress by ordering Orange Chicken in perfect Mandarian” bit IRL would be pretty funny and adorable.
It’d be hilarious if you taught her how to code Fortran.
You sick bastard! Have her do a print loop in BASIC.
I don’t think his niece is named Fortran, tho
He said harmless
Hey this might make her millions in the future
Teach her to say “I was born on a pirate ship”
Once she’s able to say it properly, tell her to open her mouth with a finger at each corner and say the phrase again. Get her to shout it out
Then tell her to show her new trick to mom and dad.
That white cows make milk for white coffee and black cows make milk for black coffee.
And strawberry milk comes from red cows.
*mooshrooms
deleted by creator
Where’s my axe
No no no. White cows make milk. Brown cows make chocolate milk.
Poker. And proper bluffing.
Low-key one of the worst things I think you can possibly teach a child. I’ve actually considered this with my nieces because it would be fun, but teaching kids how to lie convincingly is just a terrible idea on every possible front.
A buddy of mine taught his 5 yr old daughter to tell people “One time, at band camp…I stuck a flute in my…” *long pause* “nose”.
And he gets joy remembering all of the people go wide-eyed waiting for that next word out of her mouth.
Just hope he’s prepared for when she finds out the quote’s origin
Dad jokes or anti jokes maybe? Math formulas? A foreign language?
“Guess what?”
“What?”
“CHICKEN BUTT!”
Guess what.
What?
Youre a snot and I’m not.
I love this type of thing! There’s also:
“Guess why?”/“Chicken thigh!”
“Guess who?”/“Chicken poo!”
As a kid I also came up with “Guess when?”/“Chicken shin!” “Guess where?”/“Chicken hair!” and “Guess how?”/“Chicken COW!!” but those may not be quite as good, hahaha.
That it’s pronounced heliclopter and not helicopter.
My son came up with “epilopter” and that’s what we call them now.
Helico-pter
i decided to let her watch Smackdown with me. we’ll see what she picks up as a surprise for mom & dad
Oh great, show the niece thinly-veiled gay porn, aye
Say “on skib a dee” to any young kid. They love it.
