During a hard period of time for me when I was also rightfully angry about some fucked up family shit, it really helped to just sit down with my guitar and vent all my anger by playing music, and now the hard times have become better but the guitar skills stay

It’s not for everyone definitely, but any hobby will probably help to redirect that anger instead of going through the events over and over again in your head

I heard once that anger is a misalignment with your expectations and reality. Once I heard that, it helped me navigate my anger a bit better.

Like, for instance, you expected better treatment and behavior from your Ex. I think it was totally normal and understandable to expect that. I’m angry at the inhuman cruelty of capital, because I expect to live in a world where people are good and kind to each other. You’re right that anger can be a healthy drive, but anger can also be really overwhelming and get out of hand if you feed it too much, so you’ve got to slowly turn the burner down from “bout to go postal” way down to a calm simple “This is not what I expected. I deserve better.”. At that very very low simmer, it’s still a productive drive, it’s still an affirmation of your dignity, but it hasn’t become self-destructive or cruel.

idk, hope that helps, comrade

My therapist made me realize I don’t really get angry at anyone but myself, because I have pretty much no sense of self worth therefore whenever someone crosses my boundaries I just grin and take it. Maybe try childhood trauma?

I think it’s helpful to have a healthy outlet for it. I have relationships where we can vent and get it out, and it feels better just releasing it. Not every friend and romantic partner is good for this, so you gotta choose the right person. Venting on Hexbear is also free, if you gotta do that, then it’s OK.

Some people find journaling helpful. If you can afford it, you can do therapy, it did help me to vent my bs.

I think it’s absolutely fine to need to complain about shit that happened to you in the past. It’s really hard to let go if you’re stuck in the “I’m not allowed to discuss this feeling in my head” process that a lot of people can get trapped in due to their circumstances. Like not everyone has the social or financial resources. Honestly, I didn’t until quite recently.

If you want to complain about your ex in this thread, I’m cool with it. I needed to spend 100+ hours complaining about my ex to get over her, and I wouldn’t even consider her abusive or anything.

Buddhism has good advice on this.

Or read Ch.7 of this, it’s about 50 pages: https://archive.org/details/feeling-good-the-new-mood-therapy/page/n17/mode/1up

I don’t really deal with it. I just scream into the void or pillow until i become tired and sleep

I just kind of get bitter and never stop. I’m still mad at times about things that happened 20 years ago.

cope and seethe quietly

smoke ouid

Is that anger or like trauma? I dunno if anger management is the correct treatment plan. How long ago was the inciting incident?

Get a little trinket you can put your anger into. Something that you can rub with your thumb like a polished stone or the back of a spoon. When you are angry rub that little fuck and put all your hate and anger in it while telling yourself their deeds will come back on them and the suffering they cause to you is going to go back to them. Once the object has all the anger and hate you think it will hold put it somewhere with a connection to the subject of your rage. Then let it all go and trust that you are leaving that anger with them.

It sorta depends on the scale of the anger, for me.

If it’s momentary, reading a book or doing drugs that make me largely incapable of violence (non-alcohol downers, muscle relaxants, etc.). Drugs can be a bit of a trap though, being too reliant on them to manage emotions is dangerous.

If it’s long term, therapy is where it’s at. It’s also good to find something useful to direct your anger towards.

i’m completely burnt out and can’t do anything about my or the world’s problems so i just try to keep the hose on as much as possible and minimize time where i’m alone with my thoughts.

Felt the same way after breaking up with ex. I just had to sit it out I guess. Sometimes I couldn’t sleep because of the feeling and distracting myself was difficult. After half a year of talking about it with friends and just thinking about it and trying to figure out what exactly made my ex do the shitty things he did I kind of accepted that he’s a bad person but not worth as much of my time.

I don’t think there’s a magical way to suddenly not be angry anymore, you just have to go through it for a while.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with that though.

I came to a realization that my anger is mostly a useless emotion, it was hurting me, not the things I was mad at. I decided to reserve my anger for only when it was useful. Even then it was problematic, because unleashing my anger selectively could work to achieve things, but it still made me feel terrible, hurt personal relationships and other people, and I felt like I lost control of myself.

Now I try to look at the reasons why I’m angry, what I can do about it, and put off acting on it until I’ve calmed down. Communicating without anger works as well or better than communicating through anger.

I don’t know if this is the right way to deal with it, but it mostly works for me. Sometimes anger still overtakes me and I stew in it, but I try to distract myself until it passes.