JD Vance is too much of a coward to release the couch sex tape
#releasethecouchtape
It’s on Hunter’s laptop.
Two males? Are they buttery?
Why are they not releasing the couch sex tape? What are they hiding? Was there a loveseat involved?
Because the couch was underage.
Gaetz was inquiring last I heard
It was a…convertible sofa.😱
Are you saying the couch… was transsectional?
Hide-a-bred
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This got a visceral negative reaction out of me. Well done.
“Fox host demands” = “Child has on-air tantrum”
- Grabs popcorn, unzips pants *
You know, until recently I thought that the golden days of Internet activism were over and we were mostly living in times where it was ridiculously easy to get things censored on the Internet.
Then something as stupid as this gets this amount of attention because of Internet users having way too much time and energy to spread it. WTF
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I think that only proves your thoughts. This thing blew up uncontrollably. Now try repeating this with some truly important point.
Oh fuck yeah spread it
Are there no actually serious issues in the world that it is worth spreading information about? I think there are.
Much better to talk openly encouraging the posting of revenge porn.
Humans are such relative morality miscreants.
Shit I forgot that we’re only allowed to talk about one thing at a time, and if someone makes a joke then all the other information dies.
There is no problem with the lack of information though. It’s the opposite, the internet is oversaturated.
More serious issues than a fascist trying to take over one of the world’s most powerful nations? Not really. If saying his VP candidate fucks couches is bothering them this much, please keep spreading that information.
Spread it like JD Vance’s couch cushions.
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Diabolical
Do we still not have a risky click hero-user here yet?
I clicked it. Only softcore/censored examples until you use the generator yourself at the bottom of the page. You can read about the project first without getting bombarded by a user feed or something terrifying like that.
Aunty: Oh Vance! My favorite nephew! Come in come in! Sit on the couch with me! What brings you here?
Vance: nobody likes me because I wear makeup like women do and I like to fuck the couch!
Aunty: well worry no more! You can stay with us for as long as you like! There’s just one thing I need to tell you about.
Vance: what is it?
Aunty: your uncle and I have a house policy where we don’t wear any clothes indoors. Is that okay? I’m sure if we talk to your uncle, we can agree to let you fuck a couch too!
Vance proceeds to get complete naked. Uncle comes into the scene and the aunty is already naked too.
Vance: hi uncle!
Uncle: well hello! I see you are getting used to the rules of the house!
Aunty: yes. He also would like it if he could fuck the couch when he feels the need.
Uncle: no problem!
Scene cuts to Vance taking a shower. For more on this please refer to your favorite pornhub show.
why did you write this?
you either write fanfic, and know how to shitpost, OR you consume a lot of porn, it’s one of the two.
Is there a spitefic genre yet?
probably, i think that’s just fanfic though. Idk if there would be a specific genre lmao. I’d support it though.
I would go with the porn.
makes sense, lol
Hey guys, it’s time to mature up and admit that Vance probably did not have sex with a couch.
He made love to it. Also, the couch was totally asking for it.
You know the couch was into it… When the couch doesn’t want it, nature has ways of just shutting all that down.
I heard the couch was dressed like a total loveseat, and wasn’t even wearing a cover.
Lets call it what it is, folks. It was rape. He raped that couch. Just because the couch had a suggestively placed throw, doesn’t make it OK.
The couch was asking for it, wearing that slip cover!
If the couch didn’t want fucked why was it wearing those sexy cushions?!!
Showing off it’s legs. Disgusting.
It was totally consensual
-The couch
Too bad it wasn’t a bed because then we could talk about how short the bed skirt was.
Why do people care?
How did we come to the culture where personal life of politicians outside their direct political convictions matters?
Not only is it a manipulation that has no relation to somebody’s political performance, it also makes opposition dependent on criticizing a person - something that recently fucked up Republicans themselves as Biden stepped down.
I think the Dems found the:“why not both?” meme when it comes to politics against the maga Republicans, who gave up on competing on policy years ago. They’ve only been competing by creating these dumb “culture wars” and ad hominem attacks of opponents. There is no principled position, there is no good faith arguments, there is no limit to their hypocrisy.
The Democrats have been getting beat on messaging for years too.
What I think we are seeing now is a sea change. The Democrats have wildly popular policy and positions on most things. They win on policy.
And now they arent letting the Republicans get away with being “weird” hypocritical unprincipled lunatics that lack substance. They aren’t ceding the field on the “manipulation” that Republicans have been engaging in for years. Call them weird. Call them old. Call them criminals.
If they hit below the belt, hit back. If they stay on the high road, meet them there. But as soon as they want to mudsling, slap em in the face with a well deserved mud pie.
When democracy is at stake you can’t afford to lose an election because you wanted to avoid calling a couch-fucking creep, weird.
I’ll also add, I think the reason you are seeing such a ground swell in Democrat support and a dogpile on JD Vance is the pent up frustration of years of Dems being doormats and not squaring up and fighting back.
This is how you beat a bully. You have to bloody their nose. Turn the other cheek sounds great but you quickly run out of cheeks. Fight back.
Why do people care?
Because the right is constantly being self-righteous while attacking people for being queer. If those same puritan-minded people who want to criminalize LGBTQ+ people also fuck couches for fun, everyone deserves to know about it. They don’t stay out of our personal lives, why the fuck should I afford them any privacy? They don’t respect our humanity, why should I respect their dignity just because couch-fucking is victimless?
They’re the party of “family values”, let’s put their party position under the microscope.
it also makes opposition dependent on criticizing a person - something that recently fucked up Republicans themselves as Biden stepped down.
The mistake Republicans made wasn’t in standing against Biden, it was in failing to stand for anything else. If J.D. Vance drops out of the election, I am not going to be out of political ammunition. In fact, J.D. Vance should and probably will drop out and I’m not worried about if he does, because Trump isn’t going to choose a good running mate no matter what.
In fact, changing the running mate after the RNC destroys their argument that it is somehow improper for Democrats to change their nominee before the DNC, so while they play checkers, we’re playing chess.
You hit the nail on the head. It’s their blatant hypocrisy and stupidity, and it’s time to make it hurt to be stupid.
You think he will drop out? I’m not sure what’s going to happen - our political situation is beyond sane prediction - but I feel like dropping out would be admitting a mistake, and I just don’t see either Trump or Vance wanting to do that. I feel like they will ride that decision right into November.
I feel like dropping out would be admitting a mistake
Trump got famous running a reality TV show where he feigns business acumen by firing people.
It is well understood in the real world that constantly firing people is a sign of poor leadership. You either aren’t hiring productive employees, or you’re too eager to terminate under-performing employees. That didn’t matter in The Apprentice, because people view firing people as authoritative behavior, and they love it.
So when Vance backs down (and he will because he’s toxic to Trump’s approval rating), it will be presented as Trump smartly firing his inferior running mate in favor of a superior job candidate.
Just saw this. Now I think you’re almost certainly right. LOL Dude’s goin’ down.
Good point. You may be right.
I was going to ask the same question. Why should we care. But you have a good point. If the right is saying "we must look into the bedroom " then the left might as well join in. It won’t fix anything. But at this point, make the idiots squirm.
There’s a lot to unpack in that statement:
“We don’t buy the hoaxes and believe the hype anymore,” he continued.
Yeah, Fox sells them, not buys them. Get your facts straight.
“Our eyes are wide open.
Uh-oh. That sounds pretty woke to me.
And if you’re gonna accuse someone of having sex with a couch, you better have video.” He then brought on a guest to discuss whether Harris has a chance at winning the election in November without further explaining his request for the video.
Yes, because you want to see it…for totally normal reasons.
Weird people
AGOPAW All GOP Are Weird
Sofa king weird.
Does word weird equal cringe?
It can mean cringe but it’s more similar to the word strange and can be good or bad depending on context. Someone who learns Elvish and wears clothes from the 1920s could be considered weird but interesting. Republicans are the kind of weird that makes you feel uncomfortable around them. “Why are they so concerned about what my children are wearing?” Kind of weird
If one of my kids started speaking knife ear I’d be concern too.
Way to be racist towards people who aren’t even real 🤦
Having a grudge against Elves is a part of my race.
And which race would that be? The New York Marathon? Le Mans 24h? Liege-Bastogne-Liege? 😛
Yes, and I feel like the Republicans as you describe them would aptly be called “creepy.”
And I think “cringe” is often a feeling of second-hand embarrassment.
“Weird” and “strange” are more general and synonymous with “unusual” and “peculiar.”
None of that is in disagreement with your take, though
“Absolutely revolting claim! And where’s the proof? The video? I need to see that horrible, disgusting video before I believe these claims! Show me-I mean us the video!”
I mean… they can’t possibly miss the joke, can they? It fucking racks my brain, the density of these fuckwits sometimes. The whole reason this is still a thing is because they’re saying shit like, ‘If you accuse some of X, you’d better have proof.’
What the fuck man i thought this was an onion article cause the headline is too good to be true
Stark difference in the immediate memes that came out about Harris vs Vance. Coconut tree is quirky, couch is weird.
Coconut tree is so 2020.
Coconut tree is quirky, couch is weird.
Coconut Tree is Wine Mom trying to explain a legitimately profound idea she read in a book once in college.
Couch is Creepy Uncle trying to lure you into his shed.
It’s probably something she heard from a south Indian relative when she didn’t want to go to some family function.
She said her mom would say it, the full quote is:
My mother used to—she would give us a hard time sometimes, and she would say to us, “I don’t know what’s wrong with you young people. You think you just fell out of a coconut tree?” (Laughs.) You exist in the context of all in which you live and what came before you.
I love that this is on the official White House record: Remarks by Vice President Harris at Swearing-In Ceremony of Commissioners for the White House Initiative on Advancing Educational Equity, Excellence, and Economic Opportunity for Hispanics
Rules potentially invoked… 34, 35, … 49…
All you gotta do is ignore it and it becomes a weird little internet thing. And here we are lol
For reasons.
Not to kink shame you, Jesse, but maybe keep what titillates you to yourself.
Anyway, by now there’s bound to be porn with a Vance lookalike fucking a couch, so you’ll get what you need for the most part.
Such a video is the job AI was created to do.
Maybe not the Hero we want, but the Hero we deserve.
Did Jesse Walters have a fetish where he watches people fuck couches? I’m just asking questions here.
He never said he didn’t have a fetish where he watches people fuck couches. Many people are saying he has a fetish where he watches people fuck couches.
Thank you, now that you mention it I’ve totally heard about his couch fetish. A lot of people are saying it even in this thread.
This is my favorite comment chain.
I demand video evidence of him not having a couch fucking fetish
I’ll play it next to the clip where he publicly requested a video of a man fucking a couch
Now now. JD Vance only fucks couches when he wears eyeliner. Everyone knows that.
Yeah no.
No yeah.
