He called me this morning to let me have it over the phone. Then he asked me if I wanted a ride to the store. Yeah man like I’m going to want to sit in the car with you while you tell me how much of a piece of shit I am then go grocery shop.
So now I’m out a trip to the store for who knows how long. Until this blows over which could be days.
I feel so small after this, I feel like I’m the world’s most shittiest person.
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You don’t have to take those calls, you know.
“I don’t like the way you’re speaking to me, so I am going to hang up now. We can talk later.”
How is Mr. Softee doing today?
You don’t have to take those calls, you know.
I know but I was worried he might be sick or something, usually he’s never home this early so I had my guard down.
How is Mr. Softee doing today?
His new food is still bothering his stomach, he’s napping in the kitchen.
I know but I was worried he might be sick or something, usually he’s never home this early so I had my guard down.
Just remember to look out for yourself. If the conversation goes to a place you don’t like, you should disengage.
Too many people I know, including me lmao, have found this book useful. I obviously don’t know your situation personally, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it’s relevant to you, too.
Too many people I know, including me lmao, have found this book useful. I obviously don’t know your situation personally, but it wouldn’t surprise me if it’s relevant to you, too.
Thanks comrade.
I had a dad that was in poor health and also an abusive POS. He’ll try to hang whatever he thinks he can, including his health, over you for control. The only way to win is not to play.
I don’t know whether you like to be called pretty, handsome, beautiful, or cute but you’re all of them and more
I feel so small after this, I feel like I’m the world’s most shittiest person.
Brother assuming your name is not “Benjamin Nethanyahu”, that spot is already taken with a long line of irredeemable assholes waiting to fill it, including that dad of yours.
The alternating approaches are not internally inconsistent; the motive is to continuously make you feel dependent, feel lesser.
I had to put up with this for years in my late teens. It made me want to run away but I had no sense of how the world worked and therefore no plan of where I could run to.
I hope there’s someone in walking distance that you can confide in. Having this would have made my life back then immeasurably better.
I hope there’s someone in walking distance that you can confide in. Having this would have made my life back then immeasurably better.
Used to be my mom but she’s gone now.
I fully sympathize with you, my mom and grandfather were like this and I had to have two years of therapy around age 20 just to sort of start to understand why they would be so mean to me seemingly out of the blue. It did break me. In the end I came to the conclusion that not all parents like their kids or should be parents and I’ve been making my peace with that since.
It’s exactly the Bilbo thing. All the best to you and so many remote hugs, it abuse and it’s vile.
- I’m sorry.
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He’s literally this scene from LOTR, one second he’s kind and nice to me then he just snaps. You can imagine what it does for my mental health.
I’ve known people like that. They’re monsters. The snaps back to “nice/normal” are part of the abuse, setting you up to get hurt again.
That’s the thing, in like 2 days from now he’ll probably ask me how I’m doing and if I want to go for a ride.
That is part of the abuse. It’s deliberate, like a boxer lining up someone for another punch with a “rope a dope.”
And do you actually want to go for a ride or do you just feel obligated to?
I need to get to the store
Do you feel strong enough to push back in those moments that he’s berating you? Like someone else said, some people are so casual with their mean comments that they think people will snap back as quickly as they do. I get the impression that you are somewhat dependent on him at the moment, so if you can make the situation better by showing him you won’t just take the punches, it might be worth a shot.
Also, you are more than what he thinks of you- remember that. Good luck, comrade.
Also, you are more than what he thinks of you- remember that. Good luck, comrade.
Thanks comrade.
I feel like I’m the world’s most shittiest person.
you’re definitely not.
That’s the freaky thing about abusive people: the abuse is so casual for them that they sometimes expect everyone else to move on from it just as fast as they do.
I feel like I’m the world’s most shittiest person.
Absolutely not, but your dad is among the shittier for making you feel that way.
I hate it when people are verbally abusive like that. There are times when I’m in a similar situation, so I feel for you here. 💛
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I’m so sorry you have to go through that. From my own personal experience, it all really grinds a person down long term.
In my own experience, it’s never anything more than verbal for me but, I know previous generations of family went through what you described. It almost seems cyclical in some ways. I just want the cycle to be broken.
Undestand internally that everything he tells you is a proyection of him onto you, never believe it.
I run away from home at 18 from my abusive mother, I hope you can be safe and explore what options you have to reduce the abuse.
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