If someone left their partner to be with you, they’re capable of leaving you to be with someone new.
if they’ll cheat with you, they’ll cheat on you
One of my mom’s two best bits of wisdom. The other was I cut, you choose.
My mom would have added:
You never let someone hit you a second time.
This. This one was a rough lesson to learn.
This one is painfully accurate. And doubled if they cheated on their ex. It’s not romantic, you’re not in a movie. They’re a shitty person who cheated on their partner. They will do it to you.
Yes. My usual version of this is “You’re not special. If they lied to someone else, they’ll lie to you.”
If she says she’s on birth control but you haven’t seen it, dont believe her. If she pressures you not to use a condom, don’t consent.
Don’t marry someone before you’ve known them well for a few years. Don’t ignore red flags, such as them telling you that they see other people as pawns or them pressuring you to empty your 401k to put it into their financial/realestate schemes.
If your partner doesn’t treat you with kindness and respect right now, then they are never going to, no matter how many times they say they will if you would only just do this or be that - nothing will ever be good enough for that kind of person, period, full stop. And, no, they won’t change, no matter how much you do, and no matter how much you love them.
Do learn what “love bombing” is. Then find out if someone is grossly irresponsible with money or hiding a severe alcohol problem before you move in with them.
There are a lot of people in this world who will take advantage of your kindness and naivety, if you let them, so be mindful of how people treat you and those around them before you make commitments to them.
Not everyone is awful.
Edit to add: don’t ignore your friends or family telling you that they think your relationship is unhealthy, or that the person is mistreating you or others, or may be taking advantage of you. Even if you don’t have much respect for the person telling you this, stop and listen and reflect, because red flags don’t stand out to you when you’re wearing rosy tinted glasses.
red flags don’t stand out to you when you’re wearing rosy tinted glasses.
Nice!
Learned this the hard way.
If you are in that situation, get out.
If you don’t have a dream, do what makes money. Fuck what you enjoy.
Hobbies aren’t careers and you don’t want to end up 40 having never “found” yourself, suck working in a factory.
Source: long island doesn’t have cliffs for me to drive off.
Fuck what you enjoy.
Also good dating advice, as long as they consent
Pick something to get good at, then really work to get really good at it. The younger the better. But be focused. Ideally something you can make money with.
IMHO that’s a surefire way to burnout and self-doubts later on. My advice would almost be the opposite.
Never too late to change if what you’re doing isn’t working for you. Recognize when you’re about to kill your passion with expectations, and don’t do it. There is little to no cross-disciplinary knowledge that doesn’t come in useful, so don’t force yourself to be single-minded in your pursuits. What you’re learning matters surprisingly little, that you’re learning matters so much more.
But yea, don’t change major pursuits, like, every year. Probably depends on the person which advice they need. I definitely would have needed the latter.
Never send an email or text that could get you in trouble later.
Also. Never take pictures that could get you in trouble. Even if they’ll only ever be on your phone. Nothing of questionable legality. No nudity. No behavior that could cost a job 15 years later.
Goes well with “you have 2 ears and 1 mouth cause you’re expected to listen more then talk”
Or my favorite that I learned from an impromptu mentor: when unsure what to say, shut your mouth and hold your stare until they start talking again. You can put a thinking stare, defying stare, unsure stare, doesn’t matter, while you’re not giving away your position they’re giving away theirs simply because they’re uncomfortable with the silence.
Don’t grow up super religious and become a conservative operative on Capitol Hill for 7 years. Just trust me, it’s not as good as it sounds.
I think a lot of people might be interested in your story right now.
From my therapist: In the absence of a crystal ball the best predictor of someone’s future behavior is their past behavior.
tldr, track record
OMG, so good!
If you have to force it, you’re going to break it.
Or in my case, tear it.
Not really the case if you are trying to open phones nowadays… 🙃
Was it your butthole?
Ouche…
Does not apply to stuck jars, ofc
Although there is usually a better way then just muscling it
One time I couldn’t get a jar of jelly open so I smashed it. There are definitely better ways.
If you’re going to “chase your dreams,” it might be a good idea to first figure out whether they actually really are yours.
Also research the downside first. Some “dream jobs” are marketed that way for a reason.
Now I wonder if I even have dreams… Damn
I’m sick of following my dreams, man. I’m just going to ask where they’re goin’ and hook up with em later.
I’m just going to ask where they’re goin’ and hook up with em later.
This is the way.
Don’t get entangled in interpersonal drama among the people you know. If someone comes to you with some petty bullshit about someone else, and you weren’t there, don’t take their word for it, don’t repeat their story.
Just get the tattoo. Your parents are already disappointed anyway. Live your life.
Per your advice I got a tattoo of Anna and Elsa 69ing on my cheek, thanks!
I’m proud of you!
You’re the first one, thanks! :D
idk man I’ve seen some pretty bad tattoos
No ragerts
I’d worry more about disappointing your future self than your parents.
By the time the changes in your health are dramatic enough that you notice the difference, you’ve already done enough damage to warrant a loooong recovery. This goes double for mental health.
A lot of people will just write off symptoms that don’t disrupt their daily routine. “Walk it off,” so to speak. But that’s when you should have started looking for what lifestyle changes you could make to avoid anything more dire in the future.
I failed out of college the first time I ignored my anxiety and depression. This time, it led to a complete breakdown that I’m still struggling to overcomevthe symptoms of: I spend every day feeling on edge like my safety is threatened, and my gut revolts at every crumb of food. At night I twitch and can’t sleep from the stomach pain without a sleeping pill. And it’s been better this week than it was this time last month, where I hadn’t slept for >48 hours, after a week of waking up every hour nightly, and was in the worst pain I’ve ever experienced as my body started to digest itself.
It started slowly in spring, with just a panic attack once a week or so, and spikes of anxiety that caused my vision to shake too much to see… But I still perservered without much thought. The doc prescribed me anti-vert meds, said it was just vertigo induced by allergies, sent me on. I forgot about it all summer as I focused on obligations and trips and work.
And now I’m wondering if this is just my life now, if I’ll never feel relaxed again. Will the meds and therapy work, or have I done irreversible damage to my brain through inaction? Admittedly a less unpleasant thought than wondering if I’d ever be able to see straight long enough to get work done and put food on the table, or stand up without collapsing from panic and dizziness. At times I’ve wondered how much more I can take before suicide starts to sound like the better alternative.
I’m gonna keep on fighting and healing, but holy shit I wish I had just started the meds sooner.
You can use money from your 401k (stipulations vary) for a down payment on a first home, without the tax penalty (in America at least)
weight loss is great but as you get older building muscle and strength is just as important - especially if you are female.
Don’t get married unless you are 10,000% sure. People invariably get sick of each other over time. It can feel like a prison sentence. Real life is not the movies.
“Relationships take work”. Yes. Absolutely. But would you buy a car that costs $50k or more to dispose of after it’s broken down and unrepairable?
It feels more like a deployment. There are mission objectives and your team is okay most of the time, but your time is never your own.
People are different. Even if 10000% perfect matches, there will be issues in between. Just give sometime.
Multiple solutions are there, like counselling. Understanding each other plays a big role. If you are parents, you gotta hell of responsibilities and less time for arguments.
