I’ve been on a medical LOA since last year and tomorrow I go back to work and I keep thinking about how almost all my coworkers I knew are gone and processes have changed. Also that if I do something wrong I might injure myself again and be right back where I was a year ago (I have been cleared for full job duties by my doctor).
I’m concerned that spez could be right: This will blow over, Reddit users in general don’t care enough. Even a lot of us who fled here might return eventually because that’s just where most of the discussion is. (Especially for breaking news, niche topics, etc).
I really wanted the admins to change course, and failing that, for Reddit to fall, but I think it’s likely we’ll get neither, and Lemmy will remain a sidenote. (As much as it has already grown, which is amazing to see, the whole network is still like 10% of one single top subreddit)
I obviously hope I’m wrong and that the growth we’ve had in the last month will just continue.
(As much as it has already grown, which is amazing to see, the whole network is still like 10% of one single top subreddit)
You have to remember that a lot of those large subreddits are full of bots and astroturfers. It’s in reddit’s best interest for those subreddits to appear full even if they aren’t. They are trying to IPO.
The quality of discourse here is already higher even if there are fewer people so personally I think I’ll stay here until it implodes or something better comes along.
One of the subs I miss the most is AskReddit but as someone who has been a regular reader there for 5 years, every single thread has bot reposted answers that have been kicking around for years.
…yeah but like, we’re a perfect 10(%) though.
The point of my existence, or more specifically, why I keep writing my odd thoughts on here or back then on Reddit, when I‘m already aware of how useless it all is. I‘ve been reading various books on this and the more I read, the less significance I see in it. Yet, here I am, again writing something. I suppose it‘s some sort of distraction or sublimation for me.
Do you find comfort in the insignificance?
No, I wouldn‘t say I‘m comforted by much these days, though I‘ve read a book called Sunny Nihilist and Camus of course too, to try and approach it from this perspective, but I couldn‘t quite adopt it for myself as an effective coping mechanism.
Yeah same. I find it helps me with anxiety when some of my life’s problems start feeling overwhelming. But if I’m in a depressive state it seems to mostly sap away motivation.
Interesting, now that you said that, I notice it‘s similar for me. I haven‘t had any of my work related anxiety since this years long existential crisis started, probably because for that it really does help.
Unearthed some other more concerning thoughts though. Maybe that is also part of why I keep coming back to social media, it’s nice to get various insights like this. Thank you.
Happy to help. Thank you for the conversation too.
This week has been both the week we moved into our new apartment, and also the week our country celebrates by blowing shit up for 6+ nights straight. Our dogs are deathly afraid of fireworks. Last night I had to run my wife to the ER, which is literally 2 minutes away, and in that time our dogs destroyed the front door frame of our new apartment.
Our landlord, who we’ve only met once, just got back from vacation. Can’t wait to tell them how our dogs are destroying their house.
I thought the fireworks only happened for 1 night!! That’s nuts
When you live in a place where they are legal (or near a place where they are) they tend to go for a bit. Our nextdoor neighbors were shooting off some big ones.
Not just now but for at least the last several years… catastrophic global warming especially severe drought affecting the water supply and sending all kind of prices even higher.
All things considered, I don’t know if it counts as overthinking, but this ocean temperature is a bit concerning and I wonder how bad next year will be. https://climatereanalyzer.org/clim/sst_daily/
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I also lost my father around the same time that I found out I was diagnosed ADHD (actually misdiagnosed I later found out) and my brain was racked between taking care of my mother and trying to get through it myself. And then in top of all that, the anxiety of going through everyday life wondering if I’ve lost the chance to be who I wanted to be.
The only thing that helped me was telling my close friends what was going on and how much I felt like everything was crushing me. I did end up on medication for bi-polar 1 which has helped me stay more focused without feeling low.
I’m sorry for your loss my friend.
It’s a change in your reality and it’s a shift in your perspective to have this all happen at once. But beware looking back and bullying yourself. You are who your are and always have been, a label like ADHD won’t change you. Remember yo appreciate yourself even in tough times
My father went missing, we found him and he’s in a coma.
So now I’m preparing my life to take care of him once he’s out of the coma.
I’m so sorry. That’s a lot to deal with. I have had life pull the rug out from under my feet, in a different way, more than once, so I can understand some of what you’re going through.
If I upset my cat
My credit card expired on the first and I have a very expensive dental appointment next week. I’m watching my mailbox like a hawk and praying that the new card will get here in time. It’s my fault since I most likely threw the original replacement out thinking it was junk mail.
There’s a good chance you may be able to activate the card through the bank in the event it doesn’t show up in time. Never hurts to call them.
I have an appointment with a dentist to have some teeth pulled, and a chronic sinus infection needing surgery simultaneously. The antibiotics I’m on amplify the already massive anxiety I have to the point of paranoia and panic attacks.
I’m just some words a stranger left for you on the internet, but if it counts for anything at least one person from across the globe is thinking about you at this time and that is meant to sound reasurring like “you are not alone” but you mentioned paranoia and I probably just increased that I mean wtf dude a random stranger says “you are not alone” who could be from anywhere on Earth so now you’ve got this on your mind too great gee-wizz thanks I guess? Right? But then maybe it’ll take your mind off the real shit for a feaction of a second and make it worth it? I dunno I’m just an idiot overthinking things but that should be par for the course here. Um… good luck!
I’m so in my head that I barely know how to properly respond, but thank you for taking the time to reply.
Meta destroying the Fediverse.
For perspective WordPress also uses ActivityPub. WP comprises 43% of the internet. Though these corporations may create mills of pure shit behaviour and content, catching the entire Fediverse is like trying to carry water in a collinder. If things ever feel too centralised, do your part to decentralise. Check out the rest of the Fediverse and get involved. The apps are very good, though many are early in development. Build good places and catch those that seek to escape the corporate walled gardens. Resilience comes from community, and these corporations are weak because they are inflexible with singular non humanist goals. Each time the facade cracks, more will be shed. We are kind of like the Wildlings over The Wall.
Here’s the creator of ActivityPub. She’s great: https://octodon.social/@cwebber/110668011757667052
Gotta clean up house before guests arrive in a few days.
Gotta finish rebuilding the front ramp.
Gotta move some stuff in the container.
Can’t figure out why the caravan gas pilot light goes out after 4 seconds. (well it hasn’t been used for 25 years…)
Tired. Might nap at 3pm. Or shortly.
Gotta go replace a modem 40 minutes away
Gotta clear the store room some.
Weatherboards need painting soon.
Big pine tree wants to fall on the shed.
Mailbox geocache has stopped working. Need to disable it on the site.
Gotta record a sponsor for the station.
Dog needs a walk.
Need to do some shopping.
Garden is a mess.
The sun is out, yay. Can run appliances for free today.
Job worries as well. New place a lot more money. Can’t stop thinking about work outside of work. I feel like my training was rushed and I don’t really know what I’m doing. It’s all so weird. Stressed and anxious all the time because of this place.
My only bit of rational input to counter act your brain, is that: you got the job, not someone else. You’re the winner, and you can do it. New jobs are fucked… so stressful… so much doubt… so much anxiety… but you got it for a reason. You had something that no one else had.
Listen to a stranger pump you up as much as you listen to your brain. Whatever your job is, it will be second nature in no time.
Every time I end up someplace else I feel like I’m gonna do something wrong that’s gonna wipe out everything so I feel ya.
Hopefully you’ll have some helpful coworkers you can just say “hey I’m unclear on this thing.” and they’ll understand the feeling.
My boss texted a group thread at 10:30pm and I responded in 3 different clear but relatively lighthearted ways to stop texting because I was in bed. He got annoyed. 20m later my watch gave me an alert that my heart rate was 114bpm for more than 15m and now I can’t sleep.
IMO the cutoff time is 9:30-10:00 depending on the person and the level of emergency, anything after and something important better be on fire.
