I’ve been on a medical LOA since last year and tomorrow I go back to work and I keep thinking about how almost all my coworkers I knew are gone and processes have changed. Also that if I do something wrong I might injure myself again and be right back where I was a year ago (I have been cleared for full job duties by my doctor).
The point of my existence, or more specifically, why I keep writing my odd thoughts on here or back then on Reddit, when I‘m already aware of how useless it all is. I‘ve been reading various books on this and the more I read, the less significance I see in it. Yet, here I am, again writing something. I suppose it‘s some sort of distraction or sublimation for me.
Do you find comfort in the insignificance?
No, I wouldn‘t say I‘m comforted by much these days, though I‘ve read a book called Sunny Nihilist and Camus of course too, to try and approach it from this perspective, but I couldn‘t quite adopt it for myself as an effective coping mechanism.
Yeah same. I find it helps me with anxiety when some of my life’s problems start feeling overwhelming. But if I’m in a depressive state it seems to mostly sap away motivation.
Interesting, now that you said that, I notice it‘s similar for me. I haven‘t had any of my work related anxiety since this years long existential crisis started, probably because for that it really does help.
Unearthed some other more concerning thoughts though. Maybe that is also part of why I keep coming back to social media, it’s nice to get various insights like this. Thank you.
Happy to help. Thank you for the conversation too.
Job worries as well. New place a lot more money. Can’t stop thinking about work outside of work. I feel like my training was rushed and I don’t really know what I’m doing. It’s all so weird. Stressed and anxious all the time because of this place.
Every time I end up someplace else I feel like I’m gonna do something wrong that’s gonna wipe out everything so I feel ya.
Hopefully you’ll have some helpful coworkers you can just say “hey I’m unclear on this thing.” and they’ll understand the feeling.
My only bit of rational input to counter act your brain, is that: you got the job, not someone else. You’re the winner, and you can do it. New jobs are fucked… so stressful… so much doubt… so much anxiety… but you got it for a reason. You had something that no one else had.
Listen to a stranger pump you up as much as you listen to your brain. Whatever your job is, it will be second nature in no time.
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I also lost my father around the same time that I found out I was diagnosed ADHD (actually misdiagnosed I later found out) and my brain was racked between taking care of my mother and trying to get through it myself. And then in top of all that, the anxiety of going through everyday life wondering if I’ve lost the chance to be who I wanted to be.
The only thing that helped me was telling my close friends what was going on and how much I felt like everything was crushing me. I did end up on medication for bi-polar 1 which has helped me stay more focused without feeling low.
I’m sorry for your loss my friend.
It’s a change in your reality and it’s a shift in your perspective to have this all happen at once. But beware looking back and bullying yourself. You are who your are and always have been, a label like ADHD won’t change you. Remember yo appreciate yourself even in tough times
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I’m concerned that spez could be right: This will blow over, Reddit users in general don’t care enough. Even a lot of us who fled here might return eventually because that’s just where most of the discussion is. (Especially for breaking news, niche topics, etc).
I really wanted the admins to change course, and failing that, for Reddit to fall, but I think it’s likely we’ll get neither, and Lemmy will remain a sidenote. (As much as it has already grown, which is amazing to see, the whole network is still like 10% of one single top subreddit)
I obviously hope I’m wrong and that the growth we’ve had in the last month will just continue.
…yeah but like, we’re a perfect 10(%) though.
(As much as it has already grown, which is amazing to see, the whole network is still like 10% of one single top subreddit)
You have to remember that a lot of those large subreddits are full of bots and astroturfers. It’s in reddit’s best interest for those subreddits to appear full even if they aren’t. They are trying to IPO.
The quality of discourse here is already higher even if there are fewer people so personally I think I’ll stay here until it implodes or something better comes along.
One of the subs I miss the most is AskReddit but as someone who has been a regular reader there for 5 years, every single thread has bot reposted answers that have been kicking around for years.
My college friend’s destination wedding in Portugal.
I don’t really want to go - never been interested in Portugal, its extremely far away and extremely expensive to get there and stay there. On the other hand if I don’t go I know I’ll feel guilty about it. I’m currently churning ideas in my head for how to try and spin the trip into something that feels “worth” the money by going somewhere else in Europe afterwards. But the logistics are so complicated, and every day and extra location I add increases the price.
I hate obligations.
Where in Portugal are you going? I’ve only been to Porto but I loved it. It helps that I really like Portuguese food though I guess, and hot weather. It depends on what it is about Portugal that doesn’t appeal to you? In terms of cost it’s probably the cheapest country in Western Europe, you may just be staying somewhere pricey though. Honestly if you want to turn it into a bit of a trip I’d explore a bit of Portugal, or Spain is right next door, it should be easy to get around by train. Have a look on Trainline, they cover most of the train services in Europe. If you can book ahead for the intercity trains it’s usually a bit cheaper.
Looks like it’s in a place called Algarve.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure Portugal is a nice place, it just doesn’t gel with my preferences. I’m vegetarian so I basically can’t eat anything. Not a fan of beaches or hot weather either. I’m also just not really interested in learning about that culture, it’s never really sparked me.
Right now I’m thinking I might just do a hop to Scotland, and do some low cost hiking there - much more my speed. Kinda wish they had just had their wedding at home though…
The Algarve is full of British people (sorry) so you should be able to get vegetarian food. Although yeah with it being a tourist destination it’s probably more expensive. The Algarve has never appealed to me tbh, golf courses and British ex pats, no thanks. I often travel with my vegan best mate and she’s always managed, including in Porto, and in Spain. It’s limited but if you can deal with chips (fries), salad, olives, and cheese you can get by. And most cities have at least a few vegetarian/vegan restaurants and cafes.
If you come to the UK you should know we’re having a pretty crap summer right now, lots of rain, hopefully that should improve though. And if you’re not into hot weather then the UK is definitely the right place for you! I’d choose Portugal and Spain in a heartbeat over here, the old towns and cities are much more beautiful, and less grey, but each to their own. I hope you manage to have a good time. I think having a little add on trip that’s what you want to do is definitely the way to go in making this bearable. It does annoy me when people expect all their friends and family to spend a lot of money just because they’ve decided to get married.
All things considered, I don’t know if it counts as overthinking, but this ocean temperature is a bit concerning and I wonder how bad next year will be. https://climatereanalyzer.org/clim/sst_daily/
Feels insignificant compared to a lot of posts in here who actually have real problems but I was at kids party yesterday and then get the “sorry we found lice” message haha So treating the family for lice today just in case hooray
That’s not insignificant, lice are stressful. My niece got it a couple years ago we all had to do the treatment, wash the clothes and sheets in hot water, the whole shebang.
Very kind of you to say, thank you
comb for adults and as many eggs as you can get. THEN desiccate the shit out of any missed eggs with a hair dryer on low heat (doesn’t need to be hot) for like 30 mins plus when hair is dry. repeat a few days.
learning about the hair dryer was such a relief the one time i dealt with this. much easier than torturing my kids endlessly with the comb.
Hair dryer! Have never heard that tip thank you! Thankfully no lice found after treatment and a comb through
This week has been both the week we moved into our new apartment, and also the week our country celebrates by blowing shit up for 6+ nights straight. Our dogs are deathly afraid of fireworks. Last night I had to run my wife to the ER, which is literally 2 minutes away, and in that time our dogs destroyed the front door frame of our new apartment.
Our landlord, who we’ve only met once, just got back from vacation. Can’t wait to tell them how our dogs are destroying their house.
I thought the fireworks only happened for 1 night!! That’s nuts
When you live in a place where they are legal (or near a place where they are) they tend to go for a bit. Our nextdoor neighbors were shooting off some big ones.
Not just now but for at least the last several years… catastrophic global warming especially severe drought affecting the water supply and sending all kind of prices even higher.
My boss texted a group thread at 10:30pm and I responded in 3 different clear but relatively lighthearted ways to stop texting because I was in bed. He got annoyed. 20m later my watch gave me an alert that my heart rate was 114bpm for more than 15m and now I can’t sleep.
IMO the cutoff time is 9:30-10:00 depending on the person and the level of emergency, anything after and something important better be on fire.
If I upset my cat
My father went missing, we found him and he’s in a coma.
So now I’m preparing my life to take care of him once he’s out of the coma.
I’m so sorry. That’s a lot to deal with. I have had life pull the rug out from under my feet, in a different way, more than once, so I can understand some of what you’re going through.
girl
Meta destroying the Fediverse.
For perspective WordPress also uses ActivityPub. WP comprises 43% of the internet. Though these corporations may create mills of pure shit behaviour and content, catching the entire Fediverse is like trying to carry water in a collinder. If things ever feel too centralised, do your part to decentralise. Check out the rest of the Fediverse and get involved. The apps are very good, though many are early in development. Build good places and catch those that seek to escape the corporate walled gardens. Resilience comes from community, and these corporations are weak because they are inflexible with singular non humanist goals. Each time the facade cracks, more will be shed. We are kind of like the Wildlings over The Wall.
Here’s the creator of ActivityPub. She’s great: https://octodon.social/@cwebber/110668011757667052
I’m seeing a nice girl for the first time in a long time and I’m afraid she’s gonna flip a switch on me like all the others and stop talking to me for reasons I don’t understand
Best of luck bro. I hope that doesn’t happen. Everyone deserves happiness.
