First thing I would do is do some work on myself. Get a job that you are comfortable with (or even like if possible), start working out and eating right, get your own place (sounds like you might be staying with your parents from the post), and do the mental work to take accountability for things you can improve on in the way you have interacted in relationships.

The last one was the hardest for me after my big break up, but it took a lot of very intentional work to realize that I had a lot to change in order to be a good partner. If you want the woman of your dreams, you need to be the kind of man who deserves her.

Friendships are formed via proximity and common interests. Go places with other people who enjoy the same hobbies and make an effort to get to know some of them.

Social events like bars and raves are an option. You’ll find people who just want to get shit faced, but also social people. Volunteer work has a lot of people you can interact with and eventually become friends with. Game places are another option as mentioned. Video games as well. If you have a dog, parks are a way to start conversations and meet people.

I’ve made a lot of IRL friends online and at work.

If you’re between jobs, consider doing something like Americorps. People of all ages do it, not just young folks, and its temporary. I think of it as summer camp for adults, but you get paid and in some cases housing.

Back in 2017 I was super into VR. IDK what the communities are like now, back then the demographics were older, but I got a big social fix from it. An oculus quest 2 or 3 is affordable. Almost all the best games are social, “face to face” talking. It’s like having a public arcade in your closet.

I made the most friends back in 2011 by posting art online and commenting on other artists’ things. People love chatting about their hard work. I ended up meeting loads of them in person. If you can find a space of creatives, whether it’s a bluegrass club, DND, discord book club, whatever, you’ll have a good time.

And, don’t beat yourself up about being lonely. Life moves in cycles. Remember, it just takes meeting one extrovert to suddenly gain a crap ton of friends. Or, maybe you’ll collect them one by one. Regardless, I feel you. Be well.

I used to live in a place like where you do now. There’s a chance you’ll run into someone cool, but it’s very low. I had to move to the city to form an actual friend group

Nextdoor.com is mostly a shitshow. But I’ve had good luck asking the locals for recommendations on local businesses and community activities and events.

Aside from some of the other things people have already mentioned, going to or volunteering for various festivals and conventions can be a great way to meet random people and get out of the house. If you’re volunteering you’re more likely to end up meeting more local-ish people (like from whatever nearest Metro area the event is occurring in since you said you’re super rural).

Even if you don’t meet any cool new friends you want to stay in touch with, they can be a ton of fun and are a great reason to get out of the house. I’ve ended up having some really amazing experiences that I absolutely never thought possible just because I got out and went to Conventions (mostly anime or game conventions for me, but there are all kinds).

Real ways I made friends as a transplant in a new place:

• Non-staff people related to my workplace
• Nearby events that people related to my workplace knew about
• Meetup.com
• Church events (depending on the activity or group, they’re happy to have you even if you don’t believe what they believe or literally never went to their church a single time—in my case, because I can’t due to being a weekend worker)—ironically, I met and befriended a nonbeliever who was also a guest at such an event, so never say “never”
• Friends of friends (new friends who they become with, and then introduce me to)
• Reddit and other communities (finally had a redditor over at my place from states away recently for the first time, which was interesting and fun)

I would probably add Facebook events and maybe a calendar of local events, such as activities at nearby libraries.

I wonder if you’re able to scrounge up enough savings to move to a less-desolate area. Do you WFH?

I relate very much to your disconnectedness. It took me some time to realize that I was known to her circles as my “ex-wife’s husband,” not really as an independent being, so when we split, they stopped talking to me (well, us both, because she cheated and was adamantly unapologetic about it).

If you wanna try out titles on Board Game Arena, I have a premium-subscription friend in another state who would be happy to have you join us for games online from time to time!

As for IRL cost-saving events, I have friends over, or go to them, for a home-cooked dinner/potluck and a movie. There are streaming-service free trials and DVD/online movie services from libraries (such as Hoopla Digital and Kanopy) which should be able to help you avoid paying a cent. Hiking and board games are also cheap or free.

Pick up an outdoor sport as a hobby and you’ll run into cool people. I like mountain biking because I’ve met a bunch of cool people that way.

First, you start a cult…

Finding local groups dedicated to a hobby is great. I play a lot of Riichi Mahjong online, but it took me an embarassingly long time to realize “Hey I should see if there’s a local club around here to play offline.” There is, and now I have an excuse to leave the house for weekly meetups, and I’ve met some great friends here.

I also play fighting games, but I’ve mostly played more niche titles that never had an active local scene where I live, so I was limited to occasionally traveling out to play 1-2 tournaments a year. This year I finally picked up a game that is active around here, so I’m finally going to FGC locals again.

I’ve had a lot of luck joining a run club, but there are other activity based clubs. The trick to these though is that you need to keep going to them for a while before you really start becoming friends with people.

What’s really worked for me was working as a snowboard instructor on the weekend. I’m not saying do that specifically, but finding a second job based around teaching is an amazing way to meet other people who like meeting new people and being nice and sharing their skills and experiences. I should specify, the people I meet are other instructors. I’ve also met some people at events, like when I got my avalanche rec 1 cert.

Organized hobbies have been the key for me. Gives me a place to go, forces me to be minimally social, but can allow for multiple events so the pressure is reduced to make the most of every outing. Plus you have something else you’re enjoying. Everyone’s recommendations of sports or gaming falls right in line with this. But I have other hobbies I love like woodworking that I can find places to take classes and meet people. The other benefit is the more you do it the more you get used to be out among people again and it can be less awkward/anxiety inducing.

Most of the friends I’ve made after age 22 were people I worked with or people I met through dating apps. We’d go out and decide we didn’t want to date, but we liked each other enough to form friendships. The friend who I’m hanging out with next week is a former coworker. The one I’m slated to hang with after that is also a former coworker. But only two of the jobs yielded good friendships. Other places that I worked I might go to lunch with certain people, but nothing lasting came of it because I had a long commute to work and they lived in that area.

Others already suggested meetup and I know a friend had success with that. Or join hiking groups or amateur sport groups maybe like disk golf? Good luck!

Gym, especially things with group classes are great because even if the meeting other people part doesnt work you still get something out of it.