For example, I once saw a man throw his hat down in anger. He didn’t stomp on it which was kind of a let down.
Had an emotionally painful, self-esteem crushing experience at the hands of a high school girl that left me bitter and angry. Reconnected with her 15 years later and set about trying to hurt her the way I hurt. Wound up falling in love and getting married.
That’s some Hollywood bullshit right there but we’ve been married going on 15 years.
That could just be part of the long game you’re playing! ;^)
Damn bro, all part of her plan, she’s going to let you down even harder this time! Jk
Already anticipating that deathbed “syke!” after decades of marital bliss.
Yeah but jokes on her. Because you’ve got evidence that she’s been sleeping with her husband the whole time!
I went trough the old pictures of my granddad, turns out he was the head of a european accident commission.
i saw him standing in a cooling facility full of human body bags, two times. one was a flight accident, one was a whole camping site that burned down in spain or portugal.
was like in the eighties and seventies. he had also pictures of him standing next to military jets and foreign politicians and stuff.
I crashed in a car with my wheelloader because i was staring after an afftractive women that went by on a bike.
you know, like in a comedy movie. was not a hard crash though, luckily.
We were in slow traffic and a car is trying to leave a parking lot. We give the other car some space to merge in, and they take it, but for the opposite way (passed us and entered going the opposite way we were going). It was a big infraction of the road rules. Right behind the guy was a cop car, I still remember his face, like “did I really just see this right in front of me?”. The cop turned on the lights and followed the rule breaker, we were laughing our asses off inside the car. The whole thing felt scripted out of a comedy schetch of something.
A less fun one was during the first lockout of the pandemic, I was standing at the window seeing a cop car slowly going by outside with big loudspeakers: “Stay at home. If you show simptoms of cough of fever call XXX. Stay at home. Mask use in public spaces is mandatory” Felt like the start sequence of a post apocaliptic movie or something.
My husband had to evict his coke dealer at the apartment building he worked at.
I was walking through the city, watched as a man in a suit in front of me (I was walking behind him for a couple of blocks) picked up a briefcase beside a newsstand and got in the passenger seat of a waiting black car which drove off.
I’m in a spy movie, I guess.
In the 1960s the CIA used to leave instructions for their agents inside the buttholes of dead pidgeons.
Their logic was that ANYONE could pick up a random briefcase, but who’s going to pick up a dead bird.
They stopped doing it when some guy picked up the dead bird. The CIA thought a russian spy figured things out. Nope. Turns out they followed the guy, and did survielance on him for roughly an hour, as they gathered intel on how dangerous this guy was. They found no criminal background. So they stormed the house with armed guards. They found the dead pidgeons butthole covered in semen. The guy had no clue he just picked up government secrets.
Goodness! I hope he didn’t get a papercut from those instructions.
You MF. You were telling the truth about the pigeon sex story. And you didn’t even tell me!
I mean…I directly said this was the case.
There’s also a post in my recent history where I asked if anyone wanted to put my hot dog in their mouth, and posted a picture of my gooey covered weiner. It got many downvotes.
Why do I even internet?
Pocket dog?
Well I should HOPE nobody puts it in their pocket! Then it would get all linty, and you couldn’t enjoy the meaty salty flavor in your mouth, as it squirts it’s gooey topping down your throat.
Not a movie, but there was a period of time when my parents’ house had them living upstairs, my older brother, his wife, and their young son living in the converted basement, and me temporarily staying in a guest bedroom after I had just gotten out of the Army. And we all worked at the family pizza restaurant together.
It was the perfect TGIF sitcom scenario.
Was there a laugh track? :)
Ha, barely. The situation was closer to Roseanne than Full House, but I enjoyed it.
Also, true story, shortly after I moved out one of my younger brother’s friends moved into the guest room because of drama at home and our family gave him enough structure to straighten up and complete high school. It is exactly what would happen after my character got written out of the sitcom in season 4 and a beloved guest character got promoted to the regular cast…
At least he didn’t have to play your character while everyone acts like nothing is different.
I did a summer contract in forestry, up north, in the mountains, middle of nowhere. We had to get into an area that was beyond a pipeline blockade - meaning a group of indigenous leaders were blocking a pipeline from being built on their land.
The higher ups negotiated with them while we spent days off gaining bad reputations in town.
When we were allowed through, they welcomed us individually and explained their reasons for being cautious. They told us that people dressed as (or actually were) cops tried to convince them they were on public land and force them to leave, they had people pretending to be blockade protesters who came in and tried to burn down their buildings, they had people blow up their signs, they had helicopters drop off equipment and workers beyond the blockade in the night. Taking all this with a heavy pinch of salt, we got through to work.
Not an hour after we started, black goddamn helicopters showed up. About ten of them. They hung out all the first day, there were fewer the second and only one for the next two. And they were low, I could feel the wind from the rotors at times.
I don’t know why. We discussed it over plenty of drinks without coming to any good conclusions. I don’t know if they thought we were with the blockade and wanted to intimidate us, or why the pipeline people didn’t talk to the forestry people to figure out we were just labourers. As it turns out that kind of thing does happen in real life.
A bunch of us took big shits in the open where they could watch.
Maybe like 20 years ago, my partner and I were at a couple-friends’ apartment on a hot sweaty summer day. The four of us sitting in a small circle on the hardwood living room floor, smoking a bowl… Nothing but the sound of the flicking lighter, and the squeaky hum of the ceiling fan providing us with some margin of relief from the heat. Ahh…
Then boom. The ceiling fan’s loose screw squeaked its last squeak and the whole fixture fell, heavy-ass motor assembly and all, exactly in the middle of our circle. One of the wooden blades nicked my friend on the way down for a bloody eyebrow. But the heavy middle part, which could’ve killed any of us, landed right in the middle of our little arms-length bowl circle. This wasn’t one of those skinny modern fans you install by yourself… The thing was freakin’ heavy.
“Whoa.”
Was in an expressway pileup and man you sense of time just does go wack. I had somewhat the effect when I was young and we used to walk on the train tracks and we turned around to see a train coming and it seemed like it was ontop of us and we literally lept to the side and actually it was pretty far away we were just surprised by it. got all dirty and scratched up for nothing. Had time to get up and look and see it was a way aways and wait for it. Okay the last thing was not preciesly a movie thing but im just talking about wierd time perception things they sorta immitate with slow motion and such.
I somehow got the highest possible score in an English exam without properly studying for it, and I ended up getting voted as the class rep after a single speech.
Lots of weird sex stuff
…go on…
Commuting home via train. It derailed. I didn’t really notice it because I had my headphones on and read a book. It was a slightly bumpy ride, but that sort of stuff happens, right? I only realised something was off when people started smashing in the windees and breaking open the doors, climbing off and running away.
I packed my stuff, hopped outside and looked at the train. Sure enough, it was fully off the tracks.
I’ve never been in that small town before and had no idea how to get home. So, I did the only reasonable thing I could think of: Finding the nearest local pub, drinking a pint of beer, having a smoke and figure things out from there.
Met a sweet couple about my age over there who were on the same train and lived in that area. We had a lovely chat, a few more pints and then they dropped me off at the bus stop from where I could get back home. We became close friends.
Are you Simon Pegg?
Why, what’s the reference I’m missing? _
Ah, lol, did you refer to the Winchester? I guess many people in Ireland act that way, too. That’s where it happened. A healthy “oh well…” attitude.
The Winchester, yeah. I wouldn’t have thought of it if it weren’t a meme that you partially quoted!
edit: Clarification.
Fair. It wasn’t intentional on my end, it’s just a not uncommon attitude in GB and IE, I suppose. ^^
Why were people smashing windows? Is it dangerous to be on a train that’s derailed?
They just panicked and lost their cool. It’s way more dangerous what they did instead of waiting inside until emergency services arrive. By the time I hopped off, the entire area was swarming with paramedics , fire brigade and the guards. I was the last person on that train
The camera shows the wheel break from the track, throwing the hero and the henchman to either side of the room. It cuts to the carriage in chaos, with people panicked at the motion. Then it cuts to you to break the tension.
Checks out.
I do tend to have a calming effect on people. Mostly because I can’t be bothered by anything beyond my control, so I just think “Eh, fuck it” and proceed as normal.
On the lunch long time ago, I was complaining to my colleagues about surprisingly expensive pizza: “20 euros for the pizza! In some countries you would get a blowjob for that kind of money!” Few minutes later, another colleague joined us and I immediately told him: “This is 20 euro pizza!”. He answered: “What?? Did you get a blow job with it?” One female colleague noted: “I see you both visit similar kind of … restaurants”.
That sounds straight out of Seinfeld, I read “Did you get a blowjob with it?” with Kramer’s voice hahahaha
Kind of a lame example that depending on who you are may make you go, “Uhh… yeah? Duh?” but…
Y’know how Hollywood has been using the same library of stock sounds for like half a century? Wilhelm scream tier stuff? Like, if I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard one of those stock baby noises, or that ape screeching, you know the ones, I’d have a good chunk of change by now.
And if you ever encounter real world examples of some of these things, they never sound quite like those recordings. This is in large part because Hollywood loves pairing sounds of specific creatures or objects with footage of completely different creatures or objects that in reality sound nothing like that (e.g. no, bald eagles do not make that noise at all). So these sounds become reified in your head as “the sounds fake shit in movies make”. The acoustic equivalent of what fruit flavored candies are to actual fruits. Does that make sense?
All this to say, it’s really disorienting when you encounter things in the real world that actually make these noises. Particularly if you aren’t regularly used to being around them.
For me in particular, it’s roosters and horses. My mind is conditioned to assume that the stock noises for these creatures I hear in films and the like are, I dunno, extremely cherry-picked noises from some specific breed or species of the animal that aren’t the ones I’d commonly find around me. Not the case! They really do sound like that! To a spookily accurate degree, too. Being around them feels like someone is pranking me with a soundboard, I almost can’t believe it’s real.
It’s a bit depressing that sound design of film has disillusioned me to the point I’m shocked to hear that roosters in real life actually sound like roosters in movies and on TV, but nonetheless here we are.
I know what you mean. When I visited Hawaii, I was unexpectedly woken up by a rooster crowing in what was surely the most rooster-crowy way possible, right as the sun was appearing on the horizon. When I realized what was going on, it felt a little surreal, like you’re describing, even though it’s a fairly simple/common thing.
Hawaii is exactly the place that made me write this comment.
Had a shotgun put to my head and marched into a house of gang members because I dared to try to pick my sister up from a party. Got yelled at and threatened, and left without her.
Came back a little while later to try once more and found ems/police/fire all over the place. That same person with the same shotgun blew someone elses head off after I left.
I had a friend with me, we elected not to stop the second time. A day later the police questioned us, we were subpoenaed to testify, and both got threatened by gang members for years.
Good times.
Damn. This is almost the plot of Primer.
Whoa, you are right!
…and what about your sister (he asked, trepidatiously)?
She got eaten by a grue.
I could only hope!
She was fine. She left after the shooting and got a ride home. We don’t talk anymore. She accused me of raping her when we were kids while she was in a troubled teen facility (I got to fly to Utah and talk to a room full of shrinks as a teenager!) got my whole family believing and accusing me… Until 10 years later when she did the same to our dad.
I feel for her, she’s had it rough but I’ve almost died, been ostracized and demonized by my entire family and the emotional shit that came with it as a teen. But she can get fucked.
She later (several years) went on to get arrested and convicted of selling coke, as well as conspiracy to sell. Got out, invited the police in while she had meth out on the table after calling them about methallucinations.
Well, this wasn’t a fun story at all.
Hard agree, and what’s worse is that I didn’t then, and even now 30+ years later don’t see it as a traumatic. I know it is logically but I don’t feel it.
Things leading up to it were that much worse, and the later years didn’t start to get better until recently.
It sounds like you lived through some rough situations; it is a tough climb out but I am glad to hear things have gotten better for you. Keep climbing, friend!
Sorry, friend. I’m glad things have gotten better.