As I’ve aged, I’ve become less emotional, period. It works both ways. I don’t have the high of the extreme kids as often, but painful stuff is also less-impactfull.
There’s just not much novelty to experiences anymore, so I just kinda live through them and move on.
A few years ago the woman I absolutely intended to marry and spend my life with fairly suddenly broke it off. If I had been 20 it would have debilitated me, but at 40 it wasn’t the same.
Yeah, it sucked and derailed my future plans, but I also had a Planning and Zoning Commission meeting that night I had to prepare for, so I just kept moving forward and lived my life.
I ended up being upset that I wasn’t really that upset. There was no weeping, hatred, name-calling, etc. It was just a shitty thing that happened.
Yeah, it sucked and derailed my future plans, but I also had a Planning and Zoning Commission meeting that night I had to prepare for
That line made me laugh so hard, cheers!
Staff reports are serious business, lol.
Yeah this has been an interesting thing I’ve noticed too as I age, I feel very regulated emotionally and even-keeled. I find it quite refreshing
I think it’s emotional maturity that comes along as you learn to regulate your emotions. Probably some hormonal stuff too that gets figured out as you age.
Choose to be happy.
Joy isn’t reserved for the young, but it’s sure fucking easier to be joyful when your body hurts less because you’re far less likely to have one or more chronic pain conditions in your youth.
Your heart won’t harden? It might just with atherosclerosis and enough time.
So go enjoy the joy even more now while it’s still easier.
I’m in my second half of life as I plan to live to be a minimum of 100 years old. Part of my plan, is to never retire from work. It made be an American thing but I don’t think retiring is for me. I like working even when I’m not crazy about the job but I’ve gone back to school to get a Master’s and just got a job more in line with my education. And I still have at least two more career changes. Working further into my field as a scientist and then probably end up teaching at the college level all the knowledge and wisdom I’ve gained in the field.
The best news I’ve had in the last few weeks is that someone thought I was at least 22 years younger than I am. I thanked them and told them I could be their parent. That totally freaked them out and they asked how is that I look and seem so much younger than I am.
My only explanation, I keep making friends regardless of that new friend’s age. I keep playing video games, and reading. I also just walk and have a cheerful attitude towards life. Believing in myself, and a firm desire to live to be older than 100 years of age with the same passion for life I have had since I was 13 years old.
Lastly, I don’t have a specific religion or belief in an afterlife so I’ve always intended to make the best of THIS life than worry about what happens when I’m gone.
I love this sentiment. In my mid 40s I went through a period of “it’s all downhill from here” but I took steps to change my life for the better and I’m living the dream now.
Time is going to win eventually but I’m going to fight it every step of the way and will make damn sure I enjoy the battle.
What steps did you take?
Drugs…
Life has only gotten better as I got older. I’m 50 now and I know things will get worse in many ways as my health gets worse in 10-20 years, but so far life has been great. Don’t believe the internet cynics, life is what you make of it.
I am 43 and finally living my best life thanks to a cocktail of psych meds, therapy, and support from my spouse and kids.
Oh my sweet summer child.
Wait till you wakeup one day and can barely walk, for no apparent reason.
Or you have an injury that doesn’t want to heal, and docs are scratching their heads, but won’t give you pain meds, or even steroids that you’ve seen help this issue in the past.
Or you get fired for nothing you’ve done.
Or the business you work for goes belly up.
Or a crazy person in your life threatens to kill you, so you have to be alert all the time.
Or you’re in so much pain, constantly, that you can’t even think.
Life is hard. Shit happens.
Been thru most of these. Lived with chronic pain. Wife and I lost our jobs this year within a few months of each other. Had someone credibly threaten to sue me for more than I could afford. Dealt with depression & suicidality. Worked from home with a gun on my desk because the cops wouldn’t do anything about my batshit insane neighbor.
The list of problems I have proven to myself I can survive grows longer every day. I have the contact info for a good psychiatrist, lawyer, and physical therapist. I know who my support network is, and exactly how far I can stretch a dollar. Yes, bad things happen now that are worse than when I was younger. But I am stronger and more in control of my life. Problems that would have broken me down when I was just starting out are things I can now handle without so much as elevating my heart rate.
And, there are new joys that have only become accessible to me through the benefit of experience! Fears I have conquered, hangups I have gotten over, people I have warmed up to.
Getting older doesn’t just suck. I think it just seems that way because people (on the internet at least) find it really easy and relatable to complain.
I think you missed the point of the post.
Do you think I don’t know that life can be hard? I’ve had bad things happen to me for no reason. I know what crippling depression feels like.
I’m also committed to finding joy and beauty in life, because it’s always there, if you know where and how to look.
And you chose to do it by sharing an us/them meme. 🤷♂️
I won’t call you a sweet summer child, but I hope you can hear the gentle chiding in that.
I wish you luck in that. Because it does get harder and harder. It takes discipline to keep finding it, just like anything important.
Because it does get harder and harder
Not for everyone. For quite a lot of people live gets better as they mature and become capable of leaving the people who make life shitty behind.
Almost all of those could happen while still in high school.
None of those mean live necessarily or even on average gets worse after high school.
Yeah OP reads as someone who has a silver spoon in their mouth.
There is soooo much shit that is out of peoples control.
It doesn’t matter if you want to “manifest” happiness if you literally cant afford to eat.
Oh i get what OP is saying. Just drink the Kool aid and bury your head in the sand pretending the bad shit isn’t real and can’t hurt you right up to the point it devours you.
Did you have an adult in your life constantly telling you how lucky you are and it will only get worse when you were a teen? That shit robs you of your joy then and later; that mentality sets you up for failure. That’s what OPs post is describing. And if you think that people who are disabled or can’t make ends meet can’t have joy in their lives then you’re reinforcing the narrative that you must have certain things in order to “win at life”. Even if there is an element of truth to the sentiment there’s no reason to blow out of proportion that life is one endless stream of misery once you’re X many years older
No I was told it would get better.
Instead im a corporate wage slave who works 10+ hours a day to still not be to even pay all my bills on time.
Don’t have time or money to go back to school to take a gamble on something else actually paying fairly and even if it did the company you work for is still gonna be a dystopian piece of shit.
All the money that goes into my retirement will not amount to enough to retire so I (along with billions of others) will work until the day we die.
I feel like life gets better and better and I’m 40, so…
Outside of tragedies beyond your control, like illness and so on, it’s also a matter of trying to have a fun and good life every day.
Life frequently gets better after high school. You get to make your own decisions, be who you want, be with who you want, and live where you want.
In my experience, the people who told me high school was the best time had very boring adult lives.
I imagine the people who said this probably did have a fantastic time in high school. Probably to the point they ended up socially aimless afterward.
Perhaps I’m just over imagining, but I picture them reminiscing about scoring two touchdowns in a single high school game. The kind of people who post about high school memories on Facebook.
This isnt even a settled fact.
For example: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/happiness/happiness-over-the-lifespan
Argues a few things:
Does happiness decline with age?
People often worry that happiness diminishes with age, but that’s actually not the case. One large study found just a slight overall dip in happiness between age 20 and age 70—on a scale of 1 to 10, average life satisfaction went from 5.8 to 5.4.
What is the happiness curve?
The happiness curve refers to the trajectory that happiness tends to follow as we age. People begin life fairly happy. Around age 18, their happiness begins to decrease, reaching a low point in their 40s. But after age 50, happiness begins to rise again. This U-shaped happiness curve has emerged consistently in large studies of Western societies.
So there is a common curve, but the curve is gradual.
It also notes the likely causes are that financial stability rises mid-life and improves happiness, while free time is at a minimum at the bottom of the curve and reduces happiness.
This has nothing to do with age and everything to do with culture, which can be changed.
I don’t want to say it gets worse, so I tell them to enjoy being young and have experiences while they can, because it gets more difficult.
Like, if you do stupid things and break a bone, better do it while it will heal much faster. If you want to get good at gymnastics or anything that requires being physically fit, better do it while being young.
I’m starting my 40ies and can only see how my knees are starting to hurt and my body aches in ways I didn’t know it could.
My grandmother is 95 and wants to die. She was active for her whole life but now that she is losing sight, hearing, and is mostly bound to her apartment, she’s had enough. And I can understand.
You certainly can stay young and joyful in your head, but at some point your body is not going to help.
Agree. Op is young and supple
I remember thinking like this once. Then life got a lot worse.
What keeps you going these days?
Honestly? Habit.
Lmao
