And that’s the reason you can only find platypuses in Australia.
You don’t see them though. The national park boards say “look for ripples in the water!”.
If you see ripples, you’re about to die.
If you see ripples, you’re about to die.
Yeah, but from which threat? Snake? Spider? Swimming kangaroo?
I would rather Australian risks than those of bears and big cats
Aussie snakes try to keep away from people, they aren’t aggressive.
Our spiders are so like those elsewhere (compare Redback to black widow)
You’re unlikely to see a kangaroo in water. If you do, keep away from it just like you keep away from wild animals anyway
I meant the platypusses, but legit the number of times I’ve just been walking along a path and a snake has started thrashing around in the long grass next to me. All the snakes here are dead-in-eight-minutes type snakes.
Well, if you live in Australia, you’re about to die… So many deadly things always just round the corner, or under the seat!
And when it hunts underwater it is deaf and blind, sensing electromagnetic signals from its prey with the duck-bill.
Venomous? But…if not friend, why friend shaoed???
Just the males, iirc.
They have venomous spurs in their hind feet used in chasing off other males.
And their venom HURTS. They’re not particularly deadly or anything but their venom will land you in the hospital or at least laid up in bed for a while. My stepmother grew up out in the bush in NSW the ‘70s and received one of the few recorded platypus envenomations and she described it as the most painful experience of her life. She said childbirth was a breeze compared to the platypus sting!
I guess they subscribe to the “if they’re still alive, they’ll tell others how much it sucked, and we’ll be bothered less.” theory.
Evolution was all like: Ok, so which mutations would you like to advance? The venomous thing? The aquatic thing? The electrocuting enemies thing? The no stomach hack? The “Fun at parties” hack?
Platypus: Yes.
After the platypus, evolution started looking into input validation.
An excellent example of spending your points all over the place and somehow ending up with an actually pretty broken build.
It’s like a Swiss army knife of biological features
Platypus have been around for over 110 million years. Nothing broken about that build!
So they were created about the same time as dinosaurs and flowers? Evolution was feeling really creative at that part of Cretaceous.
“broken build” here likely refers to the phrase as defined by gamers to function as synonymous to “overpowered”.
As in, “the build is so broken you can’t/it is difficult to play against it”. This phraseology could be used by either an ally or an enemy, but it contextually changes connotation from positive for allies to negative for enemies.
Build is often used as a shorthand for a character’s combination of items, skills, and levels (as the various games define it).
Thanks, I (mis-?) interpreted it as a gamers build that doesn’t work because they spread abilities rather than min-maxing.
It’s an odd one. At a guess, the idea is that the build is so good / powerful that it breaks the game (or, indeed, the meta) for everyone else.
As a platypus lays eggs and produces milk, it’s the only animal that can make its own custard.
Dark.
Also. Where can I try some?
DM me your card details and I’ll send you a couple of pints from my platypus farm.
Wait…. People farm the weirdos?
Er…no… Not me…
It’s heavily regulated now as someone sold one of the male drumsticks that still had the venomous spur attached at a Saturday farmers market.
Fortunately most of the venom was deactivated by frying it but they still had to be hospitalised for a week.
I wonder how they’d be for pets.
I realize I shouldn’t.
but. I kinda want one. They’re cute.
(again, I realize I shouldn’t!)
The human urge to domesticate anything that is slightly cute
Hell, we’ll even try to domesticate things that are anything but cute, like crocodiles, fish and spiders
It can make it’s own breakfast
make its* own breakfast
yes but what about second breakfast
A full English breakfast ain’t shit once you’ve had the full platypus breakfast!
And echidnas.
I’m not sure if I’m and echidna custard or platypus custard kind of person.
the new coke v pepsi
Just be sure you don’t mention echidna custard in front of Ken Penders.
Echidnas have a four-headed penis. You’re welcome.
Just like normal humans, then?
When you cheat and choose all the perks in the character creator.
It’s a Pokémon. And so far, the only one with at least 4 types: water, poison, flying and electric. How the fuck can you even counter it?
It is the Avatar.
Oddly enough, there hasn’t been a true platypus Pokémon.
Got a 2x weakness to electric and psychic or a 4x to smackdown>earthquake
And they sweat milk!
What the hell?
If I remember correctly, they don’t have mammalian glands and instead “sweat” thier milk for thier young.
They must have glands. Unless they have milk for blood.
Why… Wh- what? Do you sweat blood?
… you don’t?!
It’s blood-comma-sweat, not “blood sweat”.
They have glands but no nipples.
So are they really mammals?
Definitely. I for one accept our fellow mammal platypuses.
They’re monotremes.
*their x 2.
Like the universe got lazy and hit the “Randomize for me” button instead LMAO
Will Wright took one look at this thing in an encyclopedia in 2001 and immediately started planning Spore.
I’m curious now how a mammal develops in an external egg. The process seems so weird.
I think they might’ve diverged from therians (placentals+ marsupials) before their ancestors became viviparous.
Seeing living platypus is high on my bucket list, I’m still not convinced it’s not a hoax
You’re very unlikely to see one in the wild, they’re nocturnal and their burrow entries are under creek banks
In zoos they live in the nocturnal animal section, probably swimming
You can just go see one at the zoo; they’re usually with the marsupials and chupacabras.
🤔
I thought you put capybara and just kinda thought you were also implying they were a pseudo SCP.
Sure they’re not with the pumas?
What did I tell you about making up animals?
Platypodes
funny lil guy
And somehow we haven’t driven it to extinction yet? That’s wild!
Probably because no one has decided to eat it yet.
I’m sure someone has. It probably tastes like popcorn or something
Wombats, koala, kangaroo, and emu eggs are easier to catch/find and were the main meat in places where those are common
God’s four year old kid got to move the evolution knobs for a day.
