I can feel the same emotions as others and am able to communicate without any misunderstandings.
It only works on depressed people.
Become the best psychiatrist for depressed people ever
I’m sooooo ok with this. Being able to understand where their depression was and able to communicate perfectly how to shift their perspective would give me a purpose that would kill my depression and realign my perspective.
You are always understood wrong
You also have Tourette’s
“I can tell that you are dealing with a lot of PISSNUGGETS emotion trauma right now.”
whenever a bird chirps you hear the actual meaning of its song, as if it were shouted at you in your native tongue.
Honestly I don’t think I need to corrupt this somehow. Enjoy.
I kind of like that one. Might be a bit overwhelming but at the beginning it sounds like fun 😃
So does that mean they also get horny af in spring?
I instantly know the answer to ANY question
But you have to lie everytime you communicate
you now have access to cursed, ancient knowledge and it drives you crazy
blank reply?
Gif. Maybe your instance isn’t showing it.
possibly not, i’ve been having issues on and off this morning
It’s a gif! I swear it’s not blank haha
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull when the lady asks for all knowledge
yeah i’ve been speaking with the owner of this instance and they’re doing some tweaks so things are a little funky
About league of legends
Written/spoken in random language every time
… but you are a callcenter agent working in first level IT support.
Did you try turning it off and back on again?
Summon lobsters at will.
The size of pea
Rise my tiny loblets!
But they can summon you as well
Me: “What the hell am I doing at Publix?”
Lobsters: “Liberate us!”
When’s the downside coming?
From the bottom of the sea :)
The lobster are horse sized and crave human flesh.
Photographic memory!
The only thing you can remember is what the inside of your own lower intestine like like.
But you are blind
fuji discontinued the film your memory uses
But your keys keep disappearing, even though you know you’ve put them there.
But you get schitzophrenia
i get the superpower of getting to move through solid objects
But you’re still affected by gravity so you immediately start freefall into the centre of the earth
Mosquitos that drink my blood instantly die
deleted by creator
When they die, they have already stung you and the bites are 2x more itchy.
Seeds i plant always grow to the full size plant in a day.
And they continue to grow at the same pace.
In doing so you also grant the plant sentience with a mind that develops at the same pace as its physical maturity.
These plants are fully aware that
A. They have been robbed of a full life, B. They exist solely for the harvest C. They are the only ones of their kind and are alone in the vast uncaring universe beyond the prison you call a “window sill”.
They also see you planting other seeds and understand that makes you their parent. It’s a lot to process.
And require flesh for sustenance
what about fruit? perfectly ripe for lunch the next day?
Lets say, they grow to full ripe size every day
Yeah…uh… I’d get fat in a hurry.
Same. Maybe the fast growth makes them taste like bamboo?
They grow immediately, which leads to you getting either stuck inside a tree with wood in your lungs or getting impaled by a plant.
I can see dead people
… and they see you. You remind them of the taste of food. It’s been so long.
…but everyone already knows that before they see the movie about your life.
I can jump 10x my own height and can stick to walls
But you’re the size of an ant
You get vertigo every time you jump
Walking on the ground is always slippery
You have no built in shock absorption and the substance you secrete that allows you to stick to walls also gives you eczema.
I have a set of mental buttons i can press which lets me instantly fix some common flaws of being a human:
- fall asleep
- stop humming a song stuck in my head
- stop feeling light headaches
- postpone hunger for 3 hours
- shut of tinnitus
- make the itching stop
Pressing one inconvenience-fixing button also causes a random inconvenience in the list to reoccur. Hope you like invisible splinters in your socks and random hiccups every time you want to cure your allergies.
You fall asleep easily, but you have wicked sleep apnea.
You can stop humming songs but it dials the intrusive thoughts up to 11
Good news, your light headaches have been replaced with moderate migraines.
You can postpone your hunger for 3 hours, but anything you consume within that window you permanently develop a sickness taste aversion to.
The ringing in your ear has been replaced with the Wilhelm scream.
The itching has stopped. The only price was IBS.
When you push one of those buttons, it’s effect is random.
“I really need to get this song out of my head so I can concentrate on cla…ZZZZZZZZZZ”
All my bodily functions smells nice, sort of perfume-like.
Your perfume-like scent acts as a pheromone to all insects in your proximity, leading to an endless swarm everywhere you go
So basically anytime I sweat already, but I’ll at least smell better. I honestly see no downsides.
All smells you used to enjoy smell like bodily functions.
Ads are blocked for me in real life. Billboards, posters, tv-commercials, all gone!
They are blocked by obnoxious flashing and loud beeping noises.
RESUME VIEWING AD! RESUME VIEWING AD!
You start bumping into invisible billboards all the time.
You realize you are living in North Korea.
I can talk to animals
They don’t like you.
They don’t understand you
Well the above was not apparently a superpower anyway…
You have prostate cancer
I can learn information & skills extremely quickly, and I get to choose what I hyperlearn and what I regular learn (for example, I can basically flip through the DSM 5 and memorize everything, or watch a tutorial on 2x skill and nail it first try)
You forget the critical 20% of what you learnt when you need it the most.
Adhd is that you?
i’m able to socialize effectively
U have prostate cancer
You are a cat 🐱
