I can find any lost object.
None of those objects are yours.
Well, apparently I already have this super power.
You have to sort through every object anyone has ever lost to do so
Any object you locate begins looking for you
Does obtaining the financial security of the average adult American in the 1980s count as a superpower? Home ownership on near-minimum wage does seem pretty fantastical.
But you become extremely jaded and disappointed in anyone younger than yourself, overcome with än irredeemable urge to tell people to pull themselves up by their bootstraps
Oh no
I can make my dad come back from getting the milk
Now he forgot his cigarettes.
He brings his new family
I can see dead people
…but everyone already knows that before they see the movie about your life.
… and they see you. You remind them of the taste of food. It’s been so long.
I can stop, start, slow down, and speed up time.
When you do, you are locked in place and cannot move.
But every time you do it, you fall asleep until someone else wakes you up with the magic formula “wake up, you dummy! Wake up!” When you wake up the effect is over.
I can materialize any technology I want, whether it is possible or not.
But everytime you do it you get sued for patent infringement
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I can learn information & skills extremely quickly, and I get to choose what I hyperlearn and what I regular learn (for example, I can basically flip through the DSM 5 and memorize everything, or watch a tutorial on 2x skill and nail it first try)
You forget the critical 20% of what you learnt when you need it the most.
Adhd is that you?
Ads are blocked for me in real life. Billboards, posters, tv-commercials, all gone!
You realize you are living in North Korea.
You start bumping into invisible billboards all the time.
They are blocked by obnoxious flashing and loud beeping noises.
RESUME VIEWING AD! RESUME VIEWING AD!
Seeds i plant always grow to the full size plant in a day.
They grow immediately, which leads to you getting either stuck inside a tree with wood in your lungs or getting impaled by a plant.
In doing so you also grant the plant sentience with a mind that develops at the same pace as its physical maturity.
These plants are fully aware that
A. They have been robbed of a full life, B. They exist solely for the harvest C. They are the only ones of their kind and are alone in the vast uncaring universe beyond the prison you call a “window sill”.
They also see you planting other seeds and understand that makes you their parent. It’s a lot to process.
And require flesh for sustenance
what about fruit? perfectly ripe for lunch the next day?
Lets say, they grow to full ripe size every day
Yeah…uh… I’d get fat in a hurry.
Same. Maybe the fast growth makes them taste like bamboo?
And they continue to grow at the same pace.
All my bodily functions smells nice, sort of perfume-like.
All smells you used to enjoy smell like bodily functions.
Your perfume-like scent acts as a pheromone to all insects in your proximity, leading to an endless swarm everywhere you go
So basically anytime I sweat already, but I’ll at least smell better. I honestly see no downsides.
Photographic memory!
But your keys keep disappearing, even though you know you’ve put them there.
fuji discontinued the film your memory uses
But you are blind
The only thing you can remember is what the inside of your own lower intestine like like.
But you get schitzophrenia
i get the superpower of getting to move through solid objects
But you’re still affected by gravity so you immediately start freefall into the centre of the earth
Mosquitos that drink my blood instantly die
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When they die, they have already stung you and the bites are 2x more itchy.
Telekinesis with no mass limit.
But it also has no speed limit, causing items you pull around to reach light speed almost instantly, effectively growing to infinite size for the duration of the pull
Honestly, in controlled conditions, I think I can benefit humanity with this.
I instantly know the answer to ANY question
Written/spoken in random language every time
About league of legends
you now have access to cursed, ancient knowledge and it drives you crazy
blank reply?
Gif. Maybe your instance isn’t showing it.
possibly not, i’ve been having issues on and off this morning
It’s a gif! I swear it’s not blank haha
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull when the lady asks for all knowledge
yeah i’ve been speaking with the owner of this instance and they’re doing some tweaks so things are a little funky
But you have to lie everytime you communicate
… but you are a callcenter agent working in first level IT support.
Did you try turning it off and back on again?
