• lil_tank [any, he/him]
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      328 months ago

      Comrade you might need to take a break from the posting spree

      You’ve made three typos in this one

      • Frank [he/him, he/him]
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        288 months ago

        Pffffft I have a new phone, the first smart phone I’ve ever owned without a keyboard. It is really taking the joy out of posting. : (

        I’m working on a solution but I’m low on resources right now and I can’t get all the materials I need to fix the issue.

        • lil_tank [any, he/him]
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          8 months ago

          Oh okay I understand! I still make typos on touchscreens all the time after years using them. I just got used to double checking to correct them. Too young to have ever owned a physical keyboard phone but I totally see why people miss them

            • Red_Eclipse [she/her]
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              48 months ago

              Being sick and somewhat sedated by medicine is enough to be sort of “drunk” and make typos. :P

              But in terms of like, getting actually high, yeah you can’t just get codeine but there’s cough medicine that’s like, pure DXM and people use it as a deliriant.

        • UlyssesT [he/him]
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          8 months ago

          Pffffft I have a new phone, the first smart phone I’ve ever owned without a keyboard.

          I’d RETVRN to phones with buttons but they’re just about impossible to find affordably, which I know is on purpose.

          Steve Jobs was a mistake.

            • UlyssesT [he/him]
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              98 months ago

              I hated him when iPods were doing those corporate-art silhouette commercials and that hatred burned brighter as time went on.

              The chin-rubbing turtlenecked “visionary” shit was a cognitohazard that inspired the Theranos grift and continues to influence aesthetics worldwide.

              burgerpain

        • miz [any, any]
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          8 months ago

          you may already know, but if you hold down for a keypress it should highlight the key and you can drag to adjust

            • miz [any, any]
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              78 months ago

              instead of tapping at a touchscreen keyboard, press and hold and the key will pop up. if you drag it will move along the keyboard and you can release when the key you want is highlighted

              • Frank [he/him, he/him]
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                108 months ago

                Oh, gotcha, swipe and gestures and stuff. I dislike that whole input system. It’s excruciatingly slow. On a good day I can hit 50-60 wpm on my old blackberry keyboard.

      • GarbageShoot [he/him]
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        288 months ago

        The typos were meant to be symbolic of the social and personal decay being observed

        in my headcanon

  • FLAMING_AUBURN_LOCKS [she/her]
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    498 months ago

    Chinese woman here! i sucked Matt Gaetz off so good that he told me the Floridian nuclear launch codes. I will be personally handing them to Xi Jinping and the Ayatollah at the next BRICS meeting

  • Evilphd666 [he/him, comrade/them]
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    8 months ago

    Insert jordan-eboy-peterson sex dungeon tweet.

    up-yours-woke-moralists This is where the SEE PEE PEE train their CUMMUNIST agents on. Grueling and unusual sex slaves, bred for training Chinese hawt sickubus CUMMIES to undermine and destroy the West from within. This is why it is so perilous for young sicko-zoomer these days. We must end this scourge against our future Volcel army!

    • UlyssesT [he/him]
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      88 months ago

      bunny-cop “As a top lieutenant in the VolCel volunteer force, I want it on the record that Dr. Professor Lobster Esq. PhD MD has our full permission to go fuck himself.”

  • darkmode [comrade/them]
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    178 months ago

    Don’t worry fellas, I’ll do us all a solid and match with them, fall in love, then break their hearts so totally that they can no longer continue spying. God Bless Amerika :07:

  • LaGG_3 [he/him, comrade/them]
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    928 months ago

    They’re there to steal cum so that Chinese scientists can synthesize the DNA and create the world’s most annoying person in a lab

  • UlyssesT [he/him]
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    188 months ago

    This is the prequel to some inevitable Reddit complaint post about how it’s impossible for such lanyard warriors to get dates in DC. kombucha-disgust

    • VOLCEL_POLICE [it/its]B
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      58 months ago

      The VOLCEL POLICE are on the scene! PLEASE KEEP YOUR VITAL ESSENCES TO YOURSELVES AT ALL TIMES.

      نحن شرطة VolCel.بناءا على تعليمات الهيئة لترويج لألعاب الفيديو و النهي عن الجنس نرجوا الإبتعاد عن أي أفكار جنسية و الحفاظ على حيواناتكم المنويَّة حتى يوم الحساب. اتقوا الله، إنك لا تراه لكنه يراك.

      volcel-police

    • Belly_Beanis [he/him]
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      278 months ago

      …imagine caring about security but you post on r*ddit and use dating apps. Neither of those things are secure lmao (neither is Hexbear but I figure dorks on here know that).

    • CoolerOpposide [none/use name]
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      8 months ago

      Imagining a guy who is stoked that he got his first match on tinder in weeks from a beautiful woman after sifting through all of the PRC agents trying to nab his security clearance, only to receive these messages consecutively:

      Heyyyy I’m bored what’s up

      Lol you’re so funny.

      Oh wait that reminds me, a lotta yall still dont get it

      ape holders can use multiple slurp juices on a single ape

      so if you have 1 astro ape and 3 slurp juices you can create 3 new apes

      Tonight’s slurp juice mint event is essentially a minting event for both Lab Monkes and Special Forces

      [redeem-your-slurpjuicseshere.now.net/obviousscam]

  • booty [he/him]
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    708 months ago

    All of them. They’re all spies. Better stay away from them. (seriously pls stay away from them they shouldn’t have to waste their time weeding out you racist fucks)