Probably not the first time this has made it’s rounds but this was the first time I’ve seen this story.
Edit: sorry, thought it included the link. https://dailynewsreported.com/positive-affirmations/woman-chases-jehovahs-witnesses-down-the-street-yelling-succumb-to-my-devil-vagina-magic/ I have to shamefully admit I ate the onion
WITNESS ME!!!
Is it shiny and chrome?
Shiny and firefox
Final form
Or just ask them to put you on the “do not call” list and they shouldn’t bother you again for several years.
Studies consistently show that devil vagina magic is the more effective solution.
I know devil vagina magic has caught me up a few times
I wish I could’ve participated in that study, I love magic!
DVM: *Pulls out seemingly endless scarves*
Me: *Claps gleefully*
DVM: *Makes my head spin around 3 times*
Me: I didn’t like that one as much
DVM: *Makes a quarter appear*
Me: I’m still dizzy from that last trick. Can you give me a second?
That “shouldn’t” is doing a lot of heavy lifting there.
Yeah, and I also keep weeds out of my garden by shouting at them and squirls out of my trees with signs that say: no squirrels
My friends leave my garden when I shout at my weeds. I must be yelling the wrong words
Have you tried devil vagina magik though?
Nah. Keep you religion to yourself, regardless of your religion, and especially at my residence during my personal time.
It’s one thing to preach in public, but gtf off my lawn!
As a millennial, my heart still stops when the door rings, obviously it’s the police or something or I would have gotten a text. I should have bought a house without a front door
TST shouldn’t doorknock to spread the word about their services?!
Which part of “regardless of your religion” did you not understand?
You could just tell them you’re an apostate.
Those they actively avoid.
That face just screams “Do what you must, I’ve already won”.
Awesome
🎶 There goes my hero, watch her as she goes.🎶
Exercise this snatch, bitches.
Give her a medal.
My dad’s brother just kept answering the door naked and they stopped coming back. Her devil vagina magic might have worked if she was cute.
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You can also chase them off your property by saying you’ve been excommunicated, and they’ll never come back.
No no, what you do is you ask them if they know why the church is making them go door to door. When they say “to spread the word of God” you correct them. “No, they know that going door to door won’t get new members of your church because doing so is rude. They want people to get mad at you and treat you poorly so that you run back to your church saying how mean everyone was. That’s when they pull YOU in closer. You’re being played.” It won’t save their souls from the cult, but it plants a seed of doubt. And if they go back and tell the church what you said, you’ll be put on a list of houses to not return to.
Considering that’s not the term they use, it would not be very effective. They would know you’re lying.
Or you were so bad of a practitioner that you didn’t even bother to learn what it was called
Since you didn’t actually provide a good response, it’s called disfellowshipped.
Still won’t work. It’s just not worth trying to remember it, and thus not worth mentioning the term.
It’s more nuanced than that. You can’t be disfellowshipped unless you were baptized as a JW, which you can tell if someone was or not. That’s just not something you can easily lie about. At best you can say you were “disassociated”, but that’s not worth that either.
You’re better off just saying “put me on your do not call list” than trying to come up with a lie like that.
Thank you!!! I just need to figure out their term in Portuguese now and I’ll be golden here in Brazil and when I finally move in with my BFs in the USA
desassociação
As an organization that’s all about missionary work, they predictably very good with having a translation for everything to every language.
e.g. https://www.jw.org/en/library/magazines/w20150415/disfellowshipping-a-loving-provision/
Thank you very much!!! That is incredibly helpful!! Now I’m actually excited for the next time they come knocking! Shame I didn’t know this last sunday when they passed by my house, but now I know!!
It’s actually dishonorably dismounted.
Thank you! My old coworkers were all JW, but I forgot the word and used the protestant equivalent.
Thx!
did they succumb tho?
I mean look at that smirk
Ok but was that a mugshot after being arrested for indecent exposure?
remember that no matter how crazy you are, there are crazier
I answered the door naked once (I was enroute to the shower), they haven’t bothered me since.
Had a friend who did that after getting out of shower one morning. He was headed to bed after a twelve hour shift and they had woke him up three Saturdays in a row. He was 5’8’’ and around 160 pounds but we called him Big Ed. Guess why?
I’m guessing he had big teeth? /s
Is that a mug shot? She was arrested for being the hero we all need?
Smug shot
No, it’s not real. The original source is a satirical news site. Sorry friends.
Oh shit, you’re right. I though I included the link. I ate the onion :(
The original source is a satirical news site
Well, that would have been nice to know! LOL The screenshot and post gives no context of where this story came from.
Oh shit, you’re right. I thought it included the link but I fucking ate the onion :(
Public indecency, I’m guessing. Some people have a stick up their arse about nudity, which is decidedly on the unpleasant side of the butt fun scale.
