Okay the title is a bit exaggerated, but honestly not far off. This post is very mundane and a bit long, but thought it fits the community.

I’m visiting my home country and went shopping for pants, there were “30% off everything!” signs with a tiny text underneath that said “member discount” (don’t have membership). Not a problem, did not notice and I don’t care for such marketing tricks to get you into the store but okay.

Picked up couple of pants, went to the cashier and they asked me “do you have our membership?” - I answered no and expected the follow up question whether I’d like to join, but, to my positive surprise the cashier just happily responded “okay, not a problem!” and continued to bag my stuff.

I stood ready to pay and then the cashier said “now I just need your phone number and you can pay”. Hold up. What. I did not expect that, I honestly had a burst of anger inside me (never gonna take it on a cashier, they are just doing their job). I asked nicely why do I need to give my phone number and I was told that to register me as a member so I can get the discount.

I declined and said I don’t want to join and would like to just pay.

The entire interaction after questioning why they need my phone number was awkward, as if I had been the first person to decline, the weirdo, aluminum foil hat wearing hermit.

This was just one of many interactions in the recent years that make me feel as if I was a weirdo for not sharing all my info around. The worst is when everyone keeps telling me “its just an app, just download it and use that why do you make things complicated” or “just sign up you don’t need to pay anything”.

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    • @[email protected]
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      47 months ago

      Not to retail workers. The vast majority of them are underpaid and overworked. Between the stressful nature of a job like that and the various stresses that tend to come along with being an adult working for anywhere near minimum wage they probably don’t have the mental bandwidth to care about anything beyond their ability to get by. You’re not going to change anything by being a dick to someone like that.

      Now if you happen to run into a developer or similarly paid person for a company like Meta or Google, absolutely be a dick to them. They’ve chosen to work for evil and have the means to choose otherwise. Acute social pressure could actually make them care and choose something else.

    • @[email protected]
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      47 months ago

      Not exactly setting the good example.

      Be excellent, but that does not mean you need to spend your attention to them. Let that kind of advertising system quietly die.

  • @[email protected]
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    117 months ago

    I realized a few years ago that my GF inadvertently solved this issue for me: She likes registering for anything that provides a discount, so I use her phone number.

    “Are you a member?”
    “Nope, but my GF probably is…”, and 90% of the time I am correct.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      67 months ago

      When I was younger and lived at home we had “family accounts”. When I went to a store I picked up the “family card” and used that. So similar experience!

    • @[email protected]
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      47 months ago

      My wife is the same way. She doesn’t care so I just use her phone number for everything. But then she wonders why she gets more spam calls than me…

  • @[email protected]
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    27 months ago

    Caring for your Privacy and the general privacy of society in the aggregate, given the increasing data mining, collecting, advertising and other trends is the normal mindset.

    Getting propagandised and brainwashed into thinking that paying, with your own money for literal microphoned devices operated by for-profit-focused Corps that will listen in and record you so as to give you lazy weather updates or help you play a song, or purchase knick-knacks online in exchanhe is the crazy take.

    Getting you to feel ackward is the point of peer-pressure and their Marketing. Just ignore it. You are not in the wrong.

  • @[email protected]
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    7 months ago

    I do this all the time.

    “Can I have your address?”

    “For a haircut? No, will it let you skip it? Ok good do that then, thanks. I don’t need 50 new mailers a month about damn haircuts, you feel me.”

    Problem solved.

  • @[email protected]
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    177 months ago

    This is sadly very common where I’m from, except you don’t even get a discount from it. I’ve taken to just politely declining, since I’m sure the person working the cash is probably pressured to get people to give their personal info.

    “And can get your email?”

    “No thank you”

    “I need your email for the receipt”

    “I appreciate it but no thank you”

    It’s a slight non sequitur while still being polite. Saying “no thank you” when someone is pressuring you works well in many situations.

    • @[email protected]
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      57 months ago

      The receipt is rarely optional for the store though, if you ask for a print out they would have to do it

        • @[email protected]
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          47 months ago

          Right, they can’t refuse issuing a ticket because you don’t want to provide an email.

          In some countries receiving the ticket is not optional even for the customer 😭

            • @[email protected]
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              57 months ago

              No, in Argentina for example, they’re supposed to hand you the receipt, otherwise they could get in trouble.

              I think it’s because there’s a lot of selling off the books

  • @[email protected]
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    67 months ago

    Give fake information every time. Waste the cashiers time with questions. Make them pay for it.

    • Chozo
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      247 months ago

      Yeah, that’ll teach a lesson the minimum wage employee who didn’t make the rules.

      • @[email protected]
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        87 months ago

        It doesn’t waste their time. They are getting paid by the hour. As long as you are friendly it doesn’t hurt anyone to give a wrong phone number to get a discount.

        • Chozo
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          27 months ago

          Except the person you just signed up for unwanted spam texts.

          • @[email protected]
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            57 months ago

            (Area code) 867 5309

            It already has an account, and nobody who gets that number keeps it for long, it may not even be assigned anymore because of how much spam it probably receives.

            • Chozo
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              17 months ago

              People do have that phone number, you know. It’s not reserved or blocked.

        • @[email protected]
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          17 months ago

          I am absolutely not advocating rudeness to the cashier.

          Give them the opportunity for malicious compliance.

          Allow them to answer every question and have a pleasant break from the monotony, knowing full well that they are being cheerful and helpful just like the training videos and handbook demand they be.

          • Chozo
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            17 months ago

            I am absolutely not advocating rudeness to the cashier.

            IMO, lying to somebody, specifically with malicious intent (as opposed to a white lie to avoid hurting somebody) is rudeness. Just because they might not catch onto it doesn’t change anything; you’re being a bad actor in this scenario, and taking out your frustration on somebody who had nothing to do with your ire.

      • @[email protected]
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        17 months ago

        Cool assumption bro. Hope that works out for you.
        I am never rude to the poor people that have to work retail. I know the pain; I have been on the other side of the counter.

        What I’m talking about is malicious compliance.

        They tell the cashiers to push the program and be helpful? Fine. I will let that cashier be the most helpful employee ever and at the same time gum up the company data collection system with fake information.

        At the same time as more punshment to the company they will see reduced sales and throughput requiring additional cashiers (more hours/pay for those people).

        But please bring on the fake internet point brigade.

      • FiveMacs
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        27 months ago

        Why you assume your have to be rude? They are all underpaid by the hour…you think the cashier gives a damn about answering dumb questions when they themselves ask for personal info that IS NOT REQUIRED.

        Waste their time…cashiers don’t give a shit

        • @[email protected]
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          17 months ago

          I didn’t say to be rude to the cashier. They make hourly wage, doesn’t matter how many people they check out.

          Make the company pay. Cause less product to be sold per hour. Cause more cashiers to be required. Make it more expensive to have the data collection program than to not have it. Be the change you want to see in the world.

          Or just let them get away with it. Your call.

  • @[email protected]
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    7 months ago

    I think your misinterpreting your own social anxieties as being made to feel like an “outcast”.

    The fact of the matter is it’s just not normal to question why a store wants your phone number and I’m sure the cashier was taken aback by the whole situation.

    Convenience, not privacy, is the norm. There is going to be tons and tons of awkward social interactions when you go against social norms. Accept it and be proud your advocating for your privacy.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      37 months ago

      Yeah the title is a bit of an exaggeration of my feelings and as you mentioned, I was a bit anxious too since I have been abroad for quite a long time (and encountered something I did not expect in what I thought was an environment that could not surprise me).

      Agreed, it could very well be that I was the first customer to question since the cashier started working there.

      Thanks for the uplifting comment!

  • beefbot
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    347 months ago

    Stores will never respect your privacy or data, so you have no obligation to respect a corporation’s expectation of truth.

    Just have memorized fake data ready for bullshit like this, say it when asked. Then the retail person who cares even less than you about it (but is forced to pretend they do, in order to survive) can get to their break faster. Win win

    • Robust Mirror
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      47 months ago

      Yeah in Australia I just use my home phone landline number converted to a mobile number, first 2 numbers are state code so like 02 1234 5678, mobile numbers are the same but 04 at the start. No idea if it is someone else’s number but I haven’t clashed yet.

      • @[email protected]
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        37 months ago

        I use 0400 000 000. I’ve had a couple of looks, but just smile and nod. I also have a spam that’s called <name>'[email protected]. I should make a spam account without my name though. I never log in. It might be dead by now.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      77 months ago

      Very good point, it seems to be the most popular advice in this thread and will try this next time!

  • @[email protected]
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    247 months ago

    I was looking at ISPs yesterday as my current contract ran out so they’re taking the opportunity to wring me for all my money. One place I looked at has a regular price and “members price” for every plan. I go to see what a membership entails and it points me to download an app. No clue if the membership is free or not because I don’t want or need an app for every utility and purchase I make. People like you and I are not the norm but from my viewpoint you’re being reasonable and the world has lost all sense of normalcy and reason.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      107 months ago

      That is just it. An app for everything, when it could just be a website you login to if you absolutely must have an account for something.

      I’m glad I’m getting some peer support here and glad to hear similar stories.

  • @[email protected]
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    857 months ago

    (Your Area Code) 867-5309. None of the younger store clerks know the song reference when I give them this number. But I get chuckles from older folks in line behind me

    • FiveMacs
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      67 months ago

      I just search online for the stores number and use that. They can bear the burden of their own bullshit spam

    • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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      327 months ago

      There’s usually already an account with that number, so just try it out. You probably don’t even need to actually open an account. BTW, if you do open an account, don’t expect that a fake phone number is going to keep you anonymous. Everything is linked these days. All of the big data brokers are buying and selling information to each other. The second you swipe a card, it’s going to match that card to real information from some random online purchase 95 years ago, and they’ll have all of your real information, including political preferences, address, phone number, all of your email addresses, ethnicity, height, weight, sexual preferences, everything. They have it all, and it’s all linked to every credit card you have ever used.

      • @[email protected]
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        77 months ago

        Pay cash when available, keep cards for when it’s not or it’d be a hassle (your discretion).

      • The Doctor
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        27 months ago

        Grocery stores. Picking up prescriptions at the pharmacy (there have been a couple of months where I couldn’t have afforded the cost if there weren’t discount points on 510-867-5309). Stuff at the hardware store. Target, occasionally.

        • Zedd
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          37 months ago

          I’d use that number all the time and not take the rewards. Glad my stupid tech job was actually used for something good.

          • The Doctor
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            37 months ago

            I usually don’t take the rewards - I like to pay it forward for the few times I really needed them.

  • @[email protected]
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    317 months ago

    Every time this happens to me, the clerk/cashier just shrugs and is like, “okay”. They get it, but are obligated to try anyway. The best you can do is be polite.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      127 months ago

      100% would never want to make their day tougher than it already probably is.

      This hermit politely declined, paid, thanked, and left. The anger I felt was towards the retail company and the clerk doesn’t need to witness that.

  • @[email protected]
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    137 months ago

    I stood ready to pay and then the cashier said “now I just need your phone number and you can pay”. Hold up. What. I did not expect that, I honestly had a burst of anger inside me (never gonna take it on a cashier, they are just doing their job). I asked nicely why do I need to give my phone number and I was told that to register me as a member so I can get the discount.

    “Sure thing, It’s +XX 111 222 3333” Just give them garbage.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      57 months ago

      That’s probably exactly what I’ll be doing from now on. Was hoping for the simple “would you like to join?” but guess that’s out of style.

      • @[email protected]
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        37 months ago

        I think the cashier was under the assumption that you wanted the discount, and asked at the end instead of immediately after you said you weren’t already a member. It doesn’t feel rude or invasive, from my perspective, maybe just phrased as an underpaid employee.

        What I do recommend is a VOIP phone number and attached separate email for all marketing purposes. They can track and sell that as much as they’d like without impacting your personal details or necessary accounts.

        • @[email protected]OP
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          37 months ago

          Haven’t looked into VOIP phone numbers before, thanks for the tip!

          Could have been that too. I was polite and didn’t fuss about it thankfully!

  • @[email protected]
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    287 months ago

    “Would you like to donate money to us that we pretty pretty promise will go to some vague charity while we reap the tax benefits? No? Are you sure? Fine, we’ll just ask you next time (regardless of your answer this time).”

    • @[email protected]
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      137 months ago

      What tax benefits? Sure they can deduct the donation, but that just cancels out the income from you giving them the money to donate. It’s net zero for the company.

      • @[email protected]
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        97 months ago

        I hear the charity tax myth all the time and I don’t understand why everyone just believes it.

        • Rhonda Sandtits
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          127 months ago

          Obviously, it’s not possible for a store to claim a tax deduction for a customer’s charity donation. But, the store can claim tax deductions for the cost of collecting the donated money on the charities behalf.

          Costs would include: a percentage of the staff members salary for asking the customer to donate, equipment costs to modify the registers to process donations, a percentage of the credit card transaction fees, a percentage of the shop lease costs, etc etc.

          Initially, it sounds ridiculous as the real costs of what I listed above would realistically land somewhere between zero and shit-all. But we can be sure that the businesses that ask their customers for charity donations have all the numbers geared heavily in their favor.

          • @[email protected]
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            87 months ago

            Except all of those things you listed would be business expenses which aren’t taxable as they would be deducted from gross profits as part of the calculation for determining net profit (which is the taxable part of profit) and if they’re also using that as a charitable contribution then they are deducting it twice which the IRS tends to frown upon. Or at least they would if they had any kind of worthwhile enforcement mechanism for dealing with corporations.

            I would assume the tax agencies of countries outside the US similarly frown upon such double deductions, possibly even with effective enforcement.

  • @[email protected]
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    137 months ago

    Another way they get your phone number is mandatory SMS 2FA login. The Dunkin Donuts app does this shitty behavior.

  • @[email protected]
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    367 months ago

    Maybe just an awkward sales agent, or they thought you were mad at them for in their mind trying to help. I decline phone number and zip code all the time. Also been using someone else’s phone number at grocery stores for years – started by mistake. I don’t care about accumulated points or whatever but discounts at grocery store are pretty significant for me.

    But I understand your frustration in general. Keep up the good fight :)

    • @[email protected]OP
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      77 months ago

      I can relate, and agree that maybe the cashier found it just as awkward. Tried to be as nice as possible because I know its a tough job!

      Thank you and you too, fellow privacy enjoyer!

    • @[email protected]
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      57 months ago

      Yeah, I think this was just a hard sell, and it works. My friend and I were apartment shopping and had already checked out a few places. Then we arrived to look at another complex and after meeting with them, we said we’d let them know if we’d like to move forward. They were very friendly, but pushy, saying “no, you don’t have to do that”, “you’re moving in here!”, that kind of stuff. Being naive and lazy, we just said okay and took the path of least resistance. Oh well, gotta live somewhere!

    • AwkwardLookMonkeyPuppet
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      137 months ago

      What’s frustrating is that they’re not real discounts. The Club Price is the regular price, and you have to agree to tracking in order to not pay above retail.

    • @[email protected]
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      157 months ago

      Any time a store asks for a phone number, I use the local area code followed by 867-5309, and 9/10 times it works