Driving a red sedan
I can’t even follow the logic behind this one.
Come on its obvious! Sedan - see Dan. Staring at a man called Dan.
Also ‘red’ has 3 letters, just like ‘gay’.
Y’all better not be driving any green (gayer) or yellow (gayest) vehicles either!
Isn’t there a whole meme for this. Fellas, is it gay to __?
Have a straw in a restaurant.
How am I suppose to not smudge my manly lipstick then?
How am I also supposed to not show how I can move my lips and head up and down the straw and lick up any leaks? /s
Love Jesus
… Like, the holy Bible Jesus?
Suck dick
Did you say “no homo” before doing it? If you did, that’s just a brojob between alphas.
I love telling this story, but I’ll warn beforehand it’s explicit.
! so, one time I was getting a blow job from this dude who was sort of newly out as bi curious. So, he asked if he could suck me off because he’d never done it before. Anyway, when I came, he didn’t pull off and decided he was going to swallow, and since he was still really new and nervous, I thought it would be hilarious if I said “no homo” when I came.
Unfortunately, he also thought that was hilarious, and laughed while swallowing. Ever seen milk come out of a kids nose in the cafeteria? That. But with spunk !<
I got the hunch that I’ve read something like that before. Maybe from you, maybe it’s a common occurrence. We need a scientific study on that topic.
I’ve mentioned it on here before, I think. It’s one of my favorite stories. The look on his face was absolutely horrific and hilarious. I asked him several times afterwards how his pregnant sinuses were. He did not find it as funny as I did.
Of course not i don’t talk with my mouth full. I was raised right
Use a Mac.
Oh god so so so many. I’m going to stick with music though for today.
You like ${artist}? That’s gay.
Even more fun, “You like ${Track} from artist? That’s the gayest track.”
Guys are real quick to make sure everyone else knows how much manlier they are by what music they listen to.
Those guys are all sadly afflicted by a case of the Notgays.
Sounds like your music is pretty gay. Add some masculinity with It’s Raining Men or just jamming to some Village People.
Just wanna point out that at least in the 90s and early 2000s people would call everything they disagreed with gay, and it didn’t have anything to do with sexual preference.
My brother’s gay and still calls stuff he disagrees with gay. Used to do it myself all the time but stopped quite a long time ago.
In the same vein, my friend frequently tells his fiancé to quit being a f*ggot when he doesn’t want to eat something unusual or complains about mild annoyances. Which always draws hilariously confused looks from nearby straights who don’t know them very well.
Let a man do squats over my face until my nose touched his shorts bulge. Wait. I’m gay.
To be fair, that is a fairly gay thing to do if he isn’t spotting your bench presses.
Were you on the floor? Those are some pretty deep squats. That can be hard on your knees …unless the bulge is…nevermind
😳
One story my husband shared with me was when he and my dad stopped into a local bar after working hard on home renovations all day. They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day’s work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too “gay” for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like “I don’t know what you think you’re doing in there” and “I just need to make sure you’re not doing anything funny”. So they ended up just leaving while the guy yelled at them saying they had to buy something.
A slightly different version of this concept also happened to my husband. At one point, 2 of our lady friends were talking about fashion and my husband, who is MUCH more fashionable than I am, chimed in. They proceeded to tell him that he’s “not allowed to have an opinion because he’s a man” which is the most double standard bullshit I’ve ever heard come out of any of my friends mouths. It’s stuck with me for a long time now because I think it keeps me honest with myself about standards and reminds me to think about how opinions change when you flip genders.
Fellas, is it gay to not eat dirt
Both of these broke my brain.
They planned to get some dinner and have some beer after a hard day’s work but needed to wash their very dirty hands first. So they went back into the bathroom and washed their hands. Well apparently that was too “gay” for the owner of the bar and they went over to the bathroom and started saying things like “I don’t know what you think you’re doing in there” and “I just need to make sure you’re not doing anything funny”.
Fellas, is it gay to practice basic personal hygiene?
Washing your hands implies you touched your penis and touching penises is gay.
Only straight way to use a urinal is helicoptering, got it
I usually just wet my pants to avoid touching my own penis so I don’t get perceived as gay. Shit, I just used the word perceived. Gay af.
Wait… you’re not washing your asshole are you?
You can’t be having fingers near your butt, same with wiping
I think the bar owner thought they might be going into the bathroom to do gay stuff, not that washing their hands is gay.
Two men walking in the bar and going straight to the bathroom together. Man jumped to conclusions.
The conclusion id jump to is that they were going in there to do some drugs.
Well it is called “homophobia” and a “phobia” is an irrational fear.
He lives his life in fear of two consenting men. Lol
I had the realization recently that homophobes think of gay sex as often as I do; but they have to jump through mental gymnastics to get it while I simply open up app and I’m back to normal an hour or so later.
I can’t image how hard it is to be happy and hold such a defining part of your life with such contempt at the same time and that was the first time I’ve ever felt sorry for a homophobe; it was for Aaron shock.
They went in straight. All good then.
I don’t live in a shithole, so nothing.
I do, but also nothing
I wish you continued good luck in this regard.
unisex clothing == male clothing
so still cant buy anything with colors or style or anything even mildly feminine without the gay thing being thrown around
Wait, does that ever actually happen as anything but a joke?
I saw it from this post and wanted to see what Lemmy has experienced…
What app did you use to create this?
E: I just realised that 1.) it’s a reddit post, not lemmy post and 2.) that it’s not even your creation. xd
That bit about wiping your ass is pretty funny ngl
Real men let it crust 😤
Nah man gotta keep that shit swampy
“Why clean the house unless you’re expecting visitors?”
SO YOU HAVE A CLEAN HOUSE BITCH WHAT THE FUCK?!
It didn’t make sense to me either until I realized that cleaning your house is probably also gay if you’re not expecting visitors.
Well fuck, I own more work boots than that, not to mention shoes for jogging, shoes for work, and shoes for going out. My work and fashion footwear game is strong.
Fellas, is it gay to have women compliment you because you care about your appearance?
Stand in awe at a replica of Michaelangelo’s David.
Admittedly staring at a statue of a naked guy, but come on
Yeah, you don’t have to be gay just to be able to admire art.
Though it doesn’t appear to hurt!
Heh come on.
Pull through parking. You know, where there are two spaces so you drive through one into the next so you can pull out of the one you park in without having to back up? I got told that was for “girls and gays”.
Real men know that there is a greater tactical advantage to backing out of a parking spot instead of pulling out.
That really clashes with the reality of how truck bros actually park. Or does it…?
Truck bros park in the dead center of 4 spots.
Yeah, sorry, that was me today. Weird day. I’d back up 4 times and still not be able to see the lines.
Get a smaller truck, jfc. What if the lines were children?
Lying on the ground in a parking lot? That would be weird, but maybe they could have called out directions to help me get into a parking space.
It’s the same car regardless of location. If you can’t see the parking lines then extrapolate, idiot.
If pulling forward into an empty parking space in front of your car is gay, then I guess you’d better start calling me Elton John. What the actual fuck?
Rocket man
Not sure if related, but my wife once told me it was hot watching me put my arm behind her passenger seat, look back and reverse out of a car space.
Now I need to know… are reverse cameras also for girls and gays?
Along those same lines, aren’t backup cameras becoming standard in vehicles?
They’ve been mandatory on all new vehicles since 2018
They’re puttin’ cameras in the cars to turn the friggin’ trucks gay! (/s for those who don’t know the reference)
Surprised no one has posted “use a straw” yet. That’s definitely one of the more common ones . Weird as shit.
Hilarious…
