I’m tempted to say “no” to the first half, then “Yes, plenty” to the second half, on the basis that I’m good at faking it.

I travel a lot for a living, so there are a lot of idle hours in hotel bars and airplanes, ripe for idle chitchat with random strangers, so I decided to start practicing my social skills, because they sure as hell need some exercise. What do I care, I’m never gonna meet them again anyway.

Well, it turns out that
a) Most people I encounter are just as bored as I
b) Idle chitchat is easy after a few tries. I don’t think I’m fak8ng it anymore.
c) Sometimes you do run into the same peo0le again on the other side of the of the world, and they’re happy to see you

Very well. The other night was at a fall festival and they had some carnys pushing carts filled with toys and balloons, you know, plastic swords, plastic guns, snaps, stink bombs, and blow up guitars, etc., and they all had a bunch of flags for sale, including, at the very top, a bunch of made in China trump shit.

I saw one carney, who was black, and he did not have trump shit. So when it was time to let the kiddo pick a toy or something, I said he could buy from that carney. And I struck up a convo by offering that it was his lack of Trump shit that got him this sale; an important thing, I think, to tell retailers of this sort. We dapped it up for a second and he was looked at me like, “come the fuck on, obviously there’s no trump shit on my cart.” He said one of the other Carneys told him how much more money he could make, and how he asked the other guy back, “man, are you fucking stupid?” Nice guy.

I’ve always been highly introverted. And I struggled with talking to strangers. So, I set myself a goal of getting better at it and started forcing myself to talk with people more. I sucked at it and probably left a lot of people thinking I was some creepy weirdo. But, I got better the more I practiced. I’m still not fantastic at it, but I can generally initiate and maintain a conversation with a random stranger, without coming off too terribly. Like most skills in life, it takes practice and a lot of failure before you can rise to the level of not sucking at it.

Every single day. I am someone who people just really open up to. I don’t know what it is but I have the craziest conversations.

54m here who is neurodivergent.

Yes, I can have a conversation with a stranger, but that was not always the case. It took years of practice to get to the point where I could be in a group or one on one and actually contribute.

The issue is, it takes SO much out of me. Where the people I’m interacting with have nice processing centers in their brains doing the bulk of the work for them in carrying the conversation. The processing centers that deal with social interaction are inactive in my brain and I have to actually think about everything going on. Which is a lot of energy to spend on conversations that really have no actual merit, other than just being social.

Think of it this way, do you remember how much energy you had to expend thinking on the last difficult test you took at school? That’s how I feel after social interactions. Because I have to do virtually the same amount of thinking in that setting, that most people use on a Physics exam.

Even with my wife and kids, I have to take breaks from them. While the years have given me habits and known behaviors that I don’t have to think about with them and keep our relationships healthy. I still have to do a lot of active processing to interact with them.

It sucks, but it is the way I am and always will be.

yeah, no problem.

i’m a social butterfly when i’m drunk and somehow managed to transfer this skill into my sober life over the years.

i’m even pretty good at phonecalls now. those terrified me my whole life. now i often prefer them over emails/texting.

Sure! I do it all the time when I’m either shopping or at the salon 😃 I love making people laugh or cheering them up!

To OP - as others have said, you’re doing it now! Not everyone may be comfortable with initiating conversations with strangers but it can be something you can gradually learn to become more comfortable with!

Yeah. I haven’t always been very comfortable with it, I made active effort to learn ways to make it easier.

I also lived in the Midwest for a while where asking someone “How are you doing” is an actual invitation to conversation and not just a response of “fine”. I learned some people are very open to chitchat with strangers, some people aren’t, and it gets pretty easy with practice to tell which is which noting body language and those first few words they respond to you with.

Also, you’re doing it now, OP. Way to go. Forum conversations like this totally count. Maybe next level up for you is some IM chatting with someone from a hobby group you’re interested in.

I could have a conversation with a stranger, but I would prefer not to. I don’t find silence uncomfortable and I’m perfectly happy to wait quietly.

I don’t like it when people try to chat when I’m having my hair cut, or waiting for something. Small talk is a drag and I really don’t care about any of it.

I love talking to strangers even though I’m pretty introverted. Having a little convo with someone I’ll never meet again is fun. It makes some people’s day to get an interaction and I like to make people happy.

I can have conversations with strangers without much difficulty. I have no choice and people are uncomfortable if I am silent in a lot of scenarios. I identify common ground with the person typically based on where we are meeting and if I don’t intend to connect to the person I keep conversation general and don’t ask names unless it seems like I may run into this person again. I then forget that name probably but it’s nice to ask.

Sure! I mean, we’re doing it right now, right? ;)

Or do you mean exclusively in person?

I’ll be honest with you, I don’t get out much (health issues) but when I do, I don’t LIKE talking to people, but I do, because it takes so little effort to make someone feel better about their day.

It also helps that pretty much everyone here has a tattoo and that’s a good icebreaker.

“Wow, nice ink! How long have you had it?”

I used to chat up Uber drivers before the pan. I did it mainly to be friendly and because sometimes there’d be a cool story to learn. Now I’m back to ignoring them and being on my phone.

If I absolutely have to, yes. If I don’t need to, I avoid it and prefer to mind my own business. For example, I sometimes attend some happy hour events for people in my field of work. Obviously you have to have some small talk, but I usually only engage if someone strikes a conversation. If not, then I’m happy just eating and drinking while watching whatever is on the bar tv. If I’m attending a show, concert, or game, I don’t strike a conversation with strangers at all.

Ive heard this kind of stuff happens in my city more than other big cities. Line at the grocery store or such. It is less than it was when I was a kid and young adult though.