From the “This is only news to neurotypicals” department
I’ve put in 60 or 70 hours of work this week. Productive. I’m a software engineer. In my normal 40 hour week there’s at least one day where I do nothing and then the other days have 2-3 productive hours.
Why? Because the project is falling behind and this one is being led by our CEO. We have like 20 employees. I save his ass, I’ll probably get a raise out of it.
Yeah. I’m like Animal Mother. A piece of shit until stuff goes really wrong then I am a great motivated problem solver.
Its crazy too becauae I am almost never stressed until SUDDENLY I AM, GOD FUCK I AM SO STRESSED WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HOW DID I LET THIS GO UNNOTICED FUCK
This is what Prozac and Atarax are for, at least until I can somehow finagle an early retirement
Amazing about the comments is that while a majority seems to “deliver” when the pressure is on, they split 50/50 on whether they feel great during it or suffer greatly, no middle ground.
I’m definitely in the 2nd group. I can get it done if the alternative has horrifying consequences, but it’s not a good feeling.
Maybe two things are mixed up, though. One is like a thing where not doing it is horrible, such as vet appointment for the pet, crucial last deadline at work, kid’s birthday party. The other is like working in a high stress environment, like a project where everything is on fire and under pressure, it’s not about our condition, or an emergency situation like a sinking ship.
I, personally, suffer greatly in the former, but less than the average person in the latter.
Yeah, I think both can be true for one person. It very much depends on the context if I’ll feel great or if I suffer during times of stress. Working in a café with many different orders to fulfill and things to do: nice!! Finishing assignments for university last minute and not doing a good job because you started much too late: feeling like a failure.
Pressurized work makes me feel alive and useful when I succeed.
AuDHD here. I got put on Buspar for anxiety once. It worked amazingly well at getting rid of anxiety. Unfortunately, I learned that anxiety was the only way I accomplished anything meaningful. I would have to be anxious that I would disappoint someone or something would result in terrible outcomes if I didn’t do it. When the Buspar got rid of anxiety, I lost my drive to accomplish anything. I remember telling the doc, “I don’t feel like doing anything. I just sit there.” So, I was taken off of it.
My personal psychological intervention for ADHD was military training instilling discipline and increasing anxiety to illicit the military discipline to avoid doom. In other words, I accomplished everything meaningful by pretending I was in war. Accomplishments weren’t accomplishments to celebrate. They were avoidance of harm to feel relieved by. A life full of fear rather than pleasure and pride.
omg I can’t believe I just figured that out rn lol 😆
We are fighting a war. Try not doing the things that stress you out. Straight to living in a van down by a river.
But man, what a carefree couple months it gets you. Like mana from the sky, a blissful oasis in a sea of hurt, never to return.
meanwhile I’m over here breaking down over the possibility that what I say might be misinterpeted as meaning something assholey
edit: and when I get stressed about something that is actually actionable I just get demotivated
NT “journalist” : Breaking news: CPTSD & ADHD are closer relatives than previously thought.
NDs : …
couldn’t be me
I used to be good at this, but I have lost my self-confidence and ability to think on my feet.
Super interesting. I’ve actually found i thrive best with 3-4 simultaneous contract jobs instead of just one, because I otherwise have too much time to wander or get distracted, versus just staying heads down and working.
Thought it was just me, but seems like it isn’t, which is nice.
I feel like my adhd is the reason for my extreme stress? I’m inattentive as fuck, which is very fucking stupid because the ptsd symptom I can’t turn off is hyperawareness. I’m always noticing everything, but trying to keep track of it long enough to put into context is a struggle. Life those two symptoms are at odds and making each other worse?
Even trying to explain it like this feels stupid.
I’m here with you, friend.
I’ve let non-verbal pets (my snake, for one) die because I knew I needed to feed them, but my task paralysis prevented me from doing so when I thought of it and my lack of time management meant they could always go one more day.
Man, 2020 sucked major ass. I’m sorry Juno! You deserved better than me.
It is exhausting to live like this. Now, I just have passive SI and am waiting to find out what cancer or terminal disease I have that will claim my life while I slowly eat and sit myself to an early grave.
It works for me in so far as giving me a deadline is better than saying “get to it when you get to it.” Because I will never get to it.
My ADHD must be broken then. Or it’s the OCD and GAD talking
This worked until I developed GAD. Now it’s hard to get motivated and hard to wind down, lol.
If you figure out the motivation thing, give me buzz. For winding down, I found that doing mindless sorting tasks is good for relaxing. For instance, I build LEGO things, my son plays with them and takes them apart eventually, and I sort them back out. One time, I went through my son’s old clothes and made a list of what was in each box. I felt so relaxed after the clothes logging! It was a nice little Saturday!
We are wired differently. “Winding down” doesn’t look the same for us. It’s just hard to find the right task to let our brains relax.
What’s GAD?
Probably Generalized Anxiety Disorder
Ah that makes sense.
(Also the last few years of my downward spiral till I hit bottom ) Meds have changed my life the last six months.
Yeah, meds have helped, in my case. At least benzos, but I try not to use them since they were explicitly prescribed as a last resort. I gotta book an appointment at a second doctor one of these days… It wasn’t really working out with my previous doctor.
What are “benzos”? At first I thought that was Bezos.
Benzodiazepines. Class of drugs used for sleep, anxiety and even anesthesia. Wikipedia: benzodiazepine
Yup.
