I’m always the one trying to put stuff together and nothing ever ends up happening. It’s clear I matter a lot less to everyone than they matter to me and that hurts. I really really wish that giving up on having people in my life would stop me from craving social interaction.
Mentioned feeling suicidal to the wrong friend and he freaked out and gave me the classically unhelpful/actively harmful pep talk and advice without ever trying to fucking understand and it makes me feel so fucking invisible. Like, people only care about me when I impact them by upsetting them at the thought of me harming myself. They don’t actually care, they just want to make themselves feel better, so I get the “be better, I don’t want to hear about you being suicidal anymore” talk so they can put my mental illness in the “done” pile and go back to not thinking about me. I do have a couple friends who will actually listen and empathize and understand, but there’s only so much you can lay on someone before it drives them away.
I’m going to delete or abandon this account soon. Trying to be social on Lemmy kind of is worse than having no social interaction at all, the internet in general but more specifically this corner of it is just filled with arguments and negativity and I end up dreading seeing inbox notifications. So, if I stop posting, I’m probably still around, not that anyone’s checking
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For me, a great way to keep in touch without too muck awkward moments is to invite people to music shows, exhibition, etc. It allows to spend a bit of time with people, but I can also isolate myself if I need too by just watching the show. It also give a subject to discuss after. As for negativity on social media, I force myself to visit more positive communities and spend less time in political ones. Easier said then done, but it helps. Good luck, things will get better.
Mentioned feeling suicidal to the wrong friend and he freaked out and gave me the classically unhelpful/actively harmful pep talk and advice without ever trying to fucking understand and it makes me feel so fucking invisible. Like, people only care about me when I impact them by upsetting them at the thought of me harming myself. They don’t actually care, they just want to make themselves feel better, so I get the “be better, I don’t want to hear about you being suicidal anymore” talk so they can put my mental illness in the “done” pile and go back to not thinking about me. I do have a couple friends who will actually listen and empathize and understand, but there’s only so much you can lay on someone before it drives them away.
So, at first, this won’t feel good. At first; this is going to hurt but eventually you will realize (I hope) that this is totally normal.
It’s not that your friend doesn’t care about you - they stuck around and gave you the bullshit spiel, and that doesn’t happen if they don’t give a fuck. I understand that it feels dismissive, but they wouldn’t have given you that “bullshit pep talk” if they didn’t care. They’re not professionals, and they’re not trained - they will NEVER get it right, and they shouldn’t have to. They’re your friends, not your therapists.
yeah, they might not be therapists, but to start pontificating at someone you’re supposed to care about instead of listening to them and having a conversation? that’s just being a bad friend. it doesn’t just feel dismissive, it is dismissive. op’s friend was not engaging with how they feel and what they’re going through, they’re telling op how they want them to be. and you can absolutely “get it right.” you can listen, engage and commiserate. show sympathy and empathy.
I’ve been on the receiving end of several of those talks and let me tell you most of those people never gave a shit to begin with. the rest are just bad at communicating. just because it’s normal doesn’t mean it’s good.
we can all do better, be better.
They’re not professionals, and they’re not trained - they will NEVER get it right, and they shouldn’t have to. They’re your friends, not your therapists.
I knew this, but seeing it spelled out…
It is so hard to hear from a friend I am trying to help that any support I give isn’t good enough. It is exhausting that my best I give is just thrown back at me and used as proof that life isn’t worth living. Honestly just made me not want to talk to anyone for a long time because of it.
Depression sucks, and I know it is not easy but try to get professional help. It can get better.
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Are you sure that your medications are actually working as intended? It’s entirely possible that the medication you’re getting could be making you more depressed. Also, only about a third of people get a depression medication that actually works for them the first time, so you might have to try quite a few different medications before you find one that works for you.
Sometimes life feels like a dark night, with no stars, no light.
No joy, no hope.
All you see around you is darkness.
Sometimes, this is how I feel.
But the stars shine, promising a bright day after the night.
The night will end.
But the other way around is also true: the bright day will end, and another dark night will begin.
To tell the truth I’m personally not sure when the night will end for me, or whether it will at all.
But, seeing the bright stars, I can hope.
Perhaps you can too.
