• exu
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    06 months ago

    God created both men and women in his image, so he must have biological gender traits from both.

  • @[email protected]
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    6 months ago

    It’s not more heretical to claim that jesus wasn’t entirely human, quite the opposite in fact. It’s a very old theological debate of homoousianism vs heteroousianism vs homoiousianism (same substance, different substance, similar substance). This debate was settled in the 4th century and Arianism (heteroousianism) was rejected

    Homoousianism - god the father is of the same substance as Christ, is the most prevalent vision nowadays, which means that christ is purely divine and not human

  • EleventhHour
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    26 months ago

    I would love to see the prompt that generated this ChatGPT response.

  • @[email protected]
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    46 months ago

    This is excellent:

    If God has no cock, then being male doesn’t need a cock to be real.

    If he has a cock, then does he only use it to pee? Or does he use it to both pee and fuck? Does that mean he had sexual relations with a minor who was also married already?

    Does the Trinity have a cock? Or is it only the father or is it only the son? You can clearly see that the son had a cock. But did he keep it as a ghost cock? Do they have 3 different cocks? Or do they share a cock?

    Since they supposedly are virgin, do they have to jack off? Do they jack off at the same time? Or does one have to hide somewhere to jack off? Or are they okay just jacking off in front of the others?

    What do they pee? If you take a shower in god pee, do you smell good? Or bad?

    And why all these questions about pee anyway…how about poo? Is God poo good or bad? If it’s bad, doesn’t that mean that God has bad things inside of him? Does that mean they gotta eat something? What do they eat? Can we eat it too? How come God let’s people die of hunger if he has a source of God food?

    • @[email protected]
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      26 months ago

      Pretty sure the official position in most sects, including Catholicism, is that God is not “male”, but singular male pronouns are nevertheless the only “correct” pronouns for “Him”.

  • Live Your Lives
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    116 months ago

    Technically, you can’t say that He/Him are God’s preferred pronouns because the capitalization doesn’t appear in the oldest texts. They are more a matter of tradition than of reality. However, you could say that’s even worse because Christians have embraced these neopronouns on God’s behalf.

  • @[email protected]
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    296 months ago

    You should know how much time Christian monks spent reasoning about the foreskin of Christ.

    It’s a lot.

    Long enough to postulate that once the Jesus ascended, his foreskin ascended as well and become. The. Rings. Of. Saturn.

    Sky will never be the same, won’t it?

      • @[email protected]
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        16 months ago

        Yeah but with significantly less blackjack and hookers and significantly more foreskins. Cause you didn’t think there was only one foreskin on display for all those pilgrims, did you?

  • @[email protected]
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    86 months ago

    You see, god stoked his divine dick and then, there came a big bang and billions of galaxy came out of the ejaculated foam.

  • @[email protected]
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    36 months ago

    I would assume since gods are omnipotent, their dicks are always the perfect size for the situation. Or perhaps they are inconceivably huge. Since they seem to like swinging them around so much.

    Pronouns? God don’t need no stinking pronouns. God got dick.

    • @[email protected]
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      16 months ago

      We assume omnipotence from Gods but it’s not wholly true. Most gods out in the world of myth are limited in their reach and ability. If they are in a pantheon then often that implies that they have no direct power over each other and thus they are not all powerful.

      Interestingly omnicence or omnipresence is not something claimed even by the monotheistic religions. No God is actually all seeing. Plenty of times in script things have been hidden from God or something has to be told to God to bring it to his attention.

      This has nothing to do with his dick persay… Just the assumption of omnipotence. If the Christian God exists he coulda just be lying about what he’s capable of and what human is gunna be able to check the math? Guy seems like the kind of dick who would pull that shit.

      • @[email protected]
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        16 months ago

        The gods were omnipotent to humans, not always so much to other gods perhaps. In polytheistic religions the pantheon was often comprised of siblings of some sort. But the top god, like Zeus or Odin, where all seeing and all knowing if they wanted to be. But they often did didn’t really care that much as long as they were fat and happy.

        • @[email protected]
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          6 months ago

          Neither Zeus nor Odin is canonically all seeing or all knowing. Zeus was tricked by Prometheus by accepting bones wrapped in fat as his sacrifice leaving what he really wanted, the nice juicy meat, as the human’s share. He had to get word of Persephone’s last known location from Apollo and has routinely been tricked by other clever Gods and mortals in his myth.

          Odin was not able to discover the plot behind the murder of Baldur until the confession of Loki nor did he know the location of Thor’s hammer when it was stolen (they had to ask Heimdal). He may have sacrificed his eye to trade one form of perception for another… But we aren’t really let on to what that perception actually is. In Norse myth only Mimir is functionally all seeing and Odin takes his council from his severed head, he has to ask for information he doesn’t implicitly know himself.

          There is a difference between simply very knowledgeable or powerful and actual omniscience or omnipotence it is not a matter of scale based on perspective, it’s a boolean function - one is either all powerful/all knowing or they are not. If ever a god or other character needs to ask someone for information, is tricked by something obscured or fails to know something they are automatically proven to not be omniscient… In storytelling omniscience tends to make for very boring characters because it means that most conflicts are automatically resolved and the cleverness or stupidity of a God is undercut when they simply know everything. Odin’s stories are ones where he goes and scouts, learns, adapts, formulates a plan and then gets away with murder because we are supposed to admire the process.

  • @[email protected]
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    56 months ago

    Considering how consistently the world gets fucked, yeah, I’d say there’s a divine Dick out there doing all the fucking.