The first and only good babylonbee article

  • @[email protected]
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    278 months ago

    From the article:

    “It’s my responsibility to make sure this tyrannical despot assumes power,” Harris told the crowd of supporters after officially conceding the race. “Though he will end freedom itself in this country, imprison anyone who disagrees with him, systematically murder all women, and go door to door kicking everyone’s dogs, I promise to make sure there is a peaceful transition of power.”

    The media hailed Harris’s brilliance and the leadership she displayed while conceding to a man who is literally Hitler.

    • Bakkoda
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      28 months ago

      It was required to be created before the election. So it’s pretty obvious they don’t care.

      • LustyArgonian
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        18 months ago

        I assume everything Trump does at this point forward will be to benefit Russia and to start a civil war within the US.

    • @[email protected]
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      28 months ago

      I think the last few years have pretty much proven he doesn’t ‘need’ to do anything.

      • LustyArgonian
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        28 months ago

        Sure, because he is a foreign asset meant to transfer wealth to Russia from the US and destroy the US from within. It only benefits him to harm our country.

        But yes a competent leader would want things like info from those agencies and intelligence briefings etc so they are prepared on Jan 20.

      • @[email protected]
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        78 months ago

        If you believe trump intends to end democracy, then democracy is already over regardless of if you peacefully transfer power or not.

        The truth is liberals have always been the path to fascism. After the death of the US no liberal nor fascist should ever be allowed near power again.

  • @[email protected]
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    208 months ago

    Biden is the one responsible for transferring power. Even right wing satire is full of ignorance. Not that there was ever any doubt.

  • @[email protected]
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    48 months ago

    Ah, so when the other side wins lemmy is suddenly against peaceful transfer of power. Interesting.

    • @[email protected]
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      118 months ago

      I think it’s more a criticism of the Dems. They spent four years saying Trump is the death of America and now they’re just going to hand it to him. There’s two implications of that:

      1. Trump isn’t the enemy they made him out to be.

      2. Or, they just don’t care about American democracy.

      A long criticism of Dems has been their refusal to treat Trump as the threat he is. He tried to perform a coup and what has happened? Some guy was accused of using fake money and was extra-judicially executed in the street, but perform a coup and life goes on.

  • @[email protected]
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    38 months ago

    Make sure Joe pardons the fuck out everybody on your way out. Also he should resign if only to fuck with their merch.

      • @[email protected]
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        18 months ago

        The genocide is only going to get worse. Though genocide don doesn’t have as much of a ring to it. Donny and Benny are best buds

  • shoulderoforion
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    2028 months ago

    At first I was surprised this was coming from the Fascist friendly Bee, but then I read it and realized they’re trying to sound sarcastic, but making the correct point perfectly. This is fucking meta.

    • Sabata
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      218 months ago

      Reality got so bad that satire can only state fact.

      • @[email protected]
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        8 months ago

        There was a political realignment after the civil war where the democrat and the republican parties switched roles as liberals and conservatives.

        Now there’s a factual realignment, where reality and satire switch which one is absurd and which one is correct when taken at face value

        • @[email protected]
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          28 months ago

          Fuck.

          People using “literally” to mean “figuratively” really was only the beginning?

          90s me would be sadly satisfied with how shit’s going right now. Like, everyone prefers to be right, but sometimes the Schadenfreude isn’t worth the squeeze.

    • magic_lobster_party
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      818 months ago

      It’s like some kind of reverse Poe’s law, when the sarcasm of the outrageous minded is indistinguishable from a sane opinion.

      Also Godwin’s law.

      • @[email protected]
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        348 months ago

        This whole thing is cracking me up. I can imagine them writing all sorts of articles like “Democrats want ALL people to have access to basic needs like food, shelter, education, and health care.” Then MAGAts reading that just laughing their heads off while the rest of us are just stuck wondering where the joke is.

  • @[email protected]
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    148 months ago

    First and only and it looks like Babylon staff didn’t even come up with the idea - at the bottom it suggests this was a reader submission.

  • @[email protected]
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    278 months ago

    I wish this was the right community to post this. Unfortunately, it more properly belongs in nottheonion

  • @[email protected]
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    348 months ago

    So… they are criticizing her for not trying to overthrow democracy? Like trying to pull a coup would have been the only rational, non-hypocritical response here? What a worrying attitude

    • @[email protected]
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      278 months ago

      Why is that a worrying attitude?

      They’re criticizing her for saying “he’s facist hitler” through the campaign as the sole message, and then when they lose, shrugging and treating it like any other loss. “Oh well, better luck next time!”

      Babylon Bee’s point is that the rhetoric doesn’t match the actions. If he was Hitler, then why are you handing him the reigns like this is just any other election? Their implication is that the campaign dramatized his impact and demonized him. They’re right about the criticism but wrong about the reason.

      He DOES represent the evils they’ve been espousing, and they are laying down and doing fuck all about it except paving him a clear path. Babylon Bee has managed to accidentally write their most non-partisan headline ever by accident, and a scathing indictment of spineless liberalism.

      • @[email protected]
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        108 months ago

        Why is that a worrying attitude?

        Because it seems to be pointed in the direction of a civil war and an end to the US republic

        He DOES represent the evils they’ve been espousing, and they are laying down and doing fuck all about it except paving him a clear path.

        What do you think should be done instead?

        • @[email protected]
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          78 months ago

          Be as petty as he was and do everything in their power to sabotage what they can and leave him a mess?

          • @[email protected]
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            98 months ago

            Isn’t it funny that a mere 4 years later, democrats forgot how to cheat and steal an election? /s

            God I want to punch everyone who voted for this moron. I really do.

    • Rozaŭtuno
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      138 months ago

      If you were alive in 1930s Europe, would you have said the same thing about Hitler and Mussolini?

      Time really is a fucking circle.

      • @[email protected]
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        58 months ago

        I often wondered how I would have felt if I was alive in the 1920s to 1940s and seen the rise of this shit. I now am confident that I would never have been a fascist, because I sure as hell fucking hate these people right now.

        • @[email protected]
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          38 months ago

          The question future resistance members must ask themselves is whether they start organizing now, or wait until prospective members won’t fuck things up by not taking opsec seriously.

    • @[email protected]OP
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      308 months ago

      Like trying to pull a coup would have been the only rational, non-hypocritical response here

      Yes. What kind of party hands over power to people they know is fascist?

      A liberal one, yes. Which is the problem, and why liberalism eventually gives way to fascism when a capitalist state is in decline.

      • @[email protected]
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        58 months ago

        The real answer is the kind of party that a majority of voters chose a rapist felon over. I don’t even want to help them, anymore, I started learning German again just in case I feel like leaving.

      • @[email protected]
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        28 months ago

        Since when did we start believing trump ?

        Isn’t he commonly understood to be a pathological liar ?

  • @[email protected]
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    8 months ago

    I hate Babylon Bee, but a broken clock & all that.

    Either this situation isn’t as bad as they said it would be during the campaign (which is what Babylon Bee is implying) or it IS as bad as they said it is, and they’re letting it happen anyways.

    Either way, they’re spineless fucking liars.

    • @[email protected]
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      98 months ago

      Theres two main reasons not to stop it from happening:

      1. It would make the DNC as bad as the GOP

      2. The people don’t really deserve more help, tbh.

            • @[email protected]
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              08 months ago

              I’m not calling for the extermination of the USA. I’m calling for them to fix their own shit after rejecting the help they needed. The entire Biden admin don’t owe the people a single fucking thing.

      • Pelicanen
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        168 months ago

        For point 2: What about people who voted for Harris and who will definitely be persecuted under republican domestic policy? What about people in other countries who will suffer and die from republican foreign policy? What about everyone on the planet who will suffer even more from climate change due to republican environmental policy?

        • @[email protected]
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          58 months ago

          THE PEOPLE. All of them. THE MAJORITY OF EVERYONE. They chose as a country, as one whole. Imagine if that was you up there and they chose that old piece of dogshit over you, would you be in a generous mood to lay down your life for them?

          • Pelicanen
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            58 months ago

            Of the 261 million adults in the US, about 73.5 million of them voted for Trump. That’s about 28%. When factoring in non-adults, that number goes to just under 22%. That’s not anywhere close to a majority.

            • @[email protected]
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              58 months ago

              Not voting when you are able to was as bad as voting for Trump. The sample size of 73.5 Million, not even including abstainers, is enough to draw conclusions about the mentality of the larger population of the USA.

  • @[email protected]
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    168 months ago

    It’s called leading through example, because the MAGA cult is so good at following the examples given to them.

  • @[email protected]
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    688 months ago

    Actually that was a JD Vance quote. Harris kept it more classy.

    Either way, he’s more of a Mussolini type. Less vision, more opportunism.

      • @[email protected]
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        8 months ago

        You joke, but vibes where and are an important part of how fascists took control. They understand that Aristotle was wrong, emotion and symbolism is simply a better form of rhetoric than logic.

          • @[email protected]
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            8 months ago

            Rhetoric is just Greek for the means of persuasion.

            A more effective means of persuasion is better rhetoric by definition, because determining truth is not the goal, getting them to do what you want is.

            But, yes, ideally rhetoric and epistemology would go hand in hand.