A DM once gave me a necklace that could only be worn by neutral or worse alignments, and with a thought it would cause a torrential downpour of blood. The blood required a constitution check to prevent characters from puking. That was a pretty neat item.
An idol that periodically tells the current time of the day in a loud and clear voice. But only at night (or when the party likes to sneak).
I gotta say, that’s a pretty good useless item
Boots of blinding speed.
Reference, in case you’re not an old.
One of my players really enjoys his Cloak of Billowing
There is really no accounting for style.
Plus it’s so much fun to appreciate the finer details and minutiae in D&D!
Glasses of Magic Sight While looking through the glasses, a faint aura appears in the presence of magic within 30 feet, akin to the Detect Magic spell (no action required). You also have disadvantage on Perseption checks and Investigation checks while looking through the glasses as the magical aura of the Glasses of Magic Sight obscure your vision.
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The vibrator of slicing.
This is a knife with two saw-like blades that move back and forth, allowing enhanced slicing of cooked or raw meats.
It gives advantage on all intimidate checks, with a +2 if wearing fishnets and/or high heels
@subtext What degree and kind of silliness are you looking for? Merely not useful to adventurers, embarrassing in some way, implausible that they’d even exist…?
I like things that players would have fun with, but aren’t “useful” in the sense that it becomes a utility item they’re using every game. Something that can be a joke!
Not against items that have use either
@subtext
Rod of Tattoos: As an attack, you can point this rod at someone within 30’ and imagine a still image on an exposed patch of that person’s skin. This will cause the desired image to appear on the person’s skin for 1 minute.If you maintain concentration on the effect for the full minute, without the rod leaving your grasp and without you or the subject leaving range of each other, the image becomes permanent, unless removed by Remove Curse.
The rod functions up to three times per day.
Ring of invisibility. Doesn’t grant the wearer invisibility, it’s just invisible. If encountered in a shop the shopkeeper will be unable to find where they left it.
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Love this. Realistically would crop up about once per year?
The dragon is barely a threat! Can’t be bigger than a hatchling!
@subtext Something I’ve used in a handful of campaigns. is the “Deck of Many Answers”.
It appears as a deck of blank faced tarot sized cards. If discarded, the card vanishes and returns to the deck.
If a player asks a question before drawing a card, the card contains a hand drawn sketch attempting to illustrate the answer to the inquiry, but never with text or numbers. However, the deck is not omniscient and it’s answers getting increasingly symbolic and open to interpretation the more abstract or game breaking; the players inquire.
Usually found by players, with no instructions.
Figuring out the shtick usually provides a lot fun, and they end up being MILDLY useful should players get the hang of them.
Oh this sounds like fun! Plus my drawing is bad enough that it’s bound to be cryptic… and maybe tending toward the not super useful which fits the OP perfectly lol
Earrings of No’Kyah: allows wearers to communicate by touching the earring while talking across any distance. Are also indestructible.
Boots of Courage: Provide +3 to initiative rolls, but have a 15% chance of tripping the wearer and leaving them probe each round they are retreating.
Bagawogs.
Squirrel sized, slimy creatures that infest pocket dimensions like bags of holding. They eat rations stored in them and occasionally weird you out by leaving a mucusey trail across your hand as you’re digging around.
Ring of attunement: allows one additional item to be attuned for the player (requires attunement)
This is actually really strong for a max level artificer as they get a +1 to all saves for each attunement
I wouldn’t say “really strong”, but +1 on saves due to a lil’ trick is neat!
Depends on how many rings of attunement you’re wearing. 5e doesn’t limit how many rings you can equip beyond physically getting them on your body and attuning to them, so how about a +10 (+20 if you include toe rings)?
This is so mean, I can just imagine a card being written for this that is extremely long and only in the last sentence does it say “requires attunement”
I always try to have 2 Immovable Rods with my character so I basically have an infinite ladder. You can lock and unlock each rod and use them like rungs to climb things, cross gaps, etc. And they’re not really rare or expensive.
Maybe add the opposite of those; rods that never stop moving. Unstoppable Rods.
Ring of Luck.
Note this is not Ring of Good Luck.
Implement it as you wish. I currently flip a coin at the start of each day, and depending of that, it’s good or back luck for the day. Never communicate which, let the player using the ring find out.
