For some reason I remembered Notch. He tried to settle all disputes in Quake. And it even worked.
You know that movie with Bruce Willis named Surrogates? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surrogates The Scene where they visit the Military.
This is how WW3 will happen, i figure. Warfare from the comfort of your home, ready to jump into o a new robot Body once downed. War being nothing more than a Battle of attrition and technical Ressources.
Hmmm, piloting a robot body against other robot bodies in war actually sounds kinda cool. Live-fire paintball without the risk of actual injury
The robots probably wouldn’t stop with the other robots. For example, if Israel had remote piloted robot warriors do you think they would only attack and kill other robots? They would just send them into Palestine, slaughter the “hostiles” and wouldn’t bat an eye.
As Randall Munroe observes, the first billionaire to create an AI-controlled swarm of killer robots will try to take over the world. So it may be Robot Wars on a grand scale.
Wait I have to stop touching myself in order to successed in the fitness test?
Absolutely not, just only do it while at the gym.
Yeah pass.
How does that guy do pullups without using his hands?
sweats in Cloud9
“The enemy cannot push a button, if you disable his hand!”
- Sergeant Zim
If they make a bigger button and then the enemy can push a button with their wrist nubbin.
If you die in the game, you die in real life
I swear there’s twenty manwha with the same concept
So hot right now
The body cannot live without the mind
There was a star trek episode like that.
Simpsons did it!
I did my part by being born with a sensory disability. Mind you I’m also too mentally ill to enlist…
I WILL get myself addicted if a draft gets instated. My family has a predisposition towards addiction, and my life would be ruined either way.
I don’t know the statistics but survival chances for addicts might be actually better than for soldiers in active combat
WW3 is gonna be a 5v5 on de_dust2
Heeeeey. There might be a role for me after all.
I want it in Source at 800x600 on my end. CRT please.
I know we just met but I feel very confident leaving the fate of the free world in your hands. Just cool it with the warcrimes okay, all that teabagging is going land you in the Hague.
Nah, on de_Vertigo.
de_rats
It’s Denmark’s war to lose then
The Astralis esports team basically turns into Delta Force in this scenario.
I’d be willing to watch that live and in client.
TF2 and they all pootis, POW!! Each other till everyone’s dead
How exactly does masturbating prevent you from military service?
They are too exhausted from masturbating to pass the fitness test.
When the mortar tube is clogged with cum…
And that’s how you learned the company Fleshlight has a hole in the back.
This is just a poor translation. It’s a colloquialism to say you’re jacking off when you’re lazy and doing nothing. In fact, it’s the same colloquialism in English. We literally say the exactly same thing when we call someone useless. What’s really interesting in my opinion is you already know this. Yet because it’s from a translation and you know that, your brain didn’t think about the colloquialisms. It’s kind of crazy how our brains work.
That’s boring tho lets go with the masturbation jokes
I’m aware of the colloquialism but I also thought that this is something Chinese party officials might plausibly say. You know, something something Western decadence.
I thought the same. Isn’t the party kind of anti porn?
Decadence isn’t exactly the word I’d use to describe masturbation.
Sex shouldn’t be for fun. It is work for procreation of the superior culture. That time jacking off could have been spent contributing to the GDP.
+100 social credit
If it weren’t fun there would be no humans
Perhaps we should be paid to fap so it does contribute to the GDP
Are you a CPC official?
Leave a man idle enough time and he’ll end up masturbating that’s where the relationship goes to the colloquialism for everyone. I cna tell you in Spanish we use the same colloquialism.
When they won’t get their dicks out of their hands in formation, it’s very distracting for others.
Something something male essence
I don’t avoid women Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence
Post-nut clarity makes you realize what a bad idea joining the military would be.
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After a good fap I realised that this is the most plausible explanation.
Hold on, I’m almost there.
It makes you go blind.
It makes your hand pregnant
How is babby formed?
Perrganent? Preganté?
Gregnant
Oh, and your rifle gets all slippery!
And your hands get all hairy
Can I do it till I need glasses? lol
They’ll just give you government issue glasses
Yup, gotta keep at it until you can’t see the screen anymore. AFAIK, the military doesn’t do braille.
Someday war will be… in a cup!
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Rules 5 and 6
I don’t care about how much you dislike capitalism, that doesn’t belong in here. Also this is NCD, we love war.
Why. The fuck. Would anyone, Millennial or younger join the US military these days? To fight for oil overseas, while the world is burning? To be the arm of our corrupt politicians? To defend all the houses we will never afford? To protect a populace that yearns for fascism?
It’s too credible so I’ll whisper it (poverty)
Shootin guns and driving around in big trucks with the boys sounds mad as.
You know most enlisted aren’t in combat roles right? My brother did ten years behind a desk, ended up with an awesome career and got to travel the world for free.
Huh? I didn’t mention a single thing about combat roles or personal danger. If you join the military, you’re supporting their agenda…
You’re fun, but this is NCD, it’s all military defense jokey jokes. The only civilian defense we take seriously is Mr. Park and the Roof Koreans. You’re not really here, with these filthy rave babies, to persuade them not to join the military? It’s far too late for many commenters here, they already have bad knees and a discharge in their rearview mirrors. Try to get some perspective on your audience before you start your Ted Talk.
If you work for just about any corporation in the US, you are supporting an equally repugnant agenda.
Welcome to Capitalism.
Hard to find a way to make a living without supporting an unethical agenda, unfortunately.
That is very true.
Yup. The company I work for is a bit less unethical than many others. Nobody’s perfect though, and we have a yearly remembrance for people we’ve killed over the years.
I didn’t mention a single thing about combat roles or personal danger
To fight
To be the arm
To defend
To protect
Do you not know what any of those terms mean
Name five companies you can work for that don’t have an unethical agenda.
If you live in Europe: to protect your freedom. (may apply to other regions as well)
Good news, in the US, you don’t have to join the military to get a gun.
😎 Yeeaahhhh
Sorry, I meant in the US. (Freedom offer no longer applicable, must be 18 years or older)
Based!
Woah woah who tf downvoted this? You’re in NCD. This is in fact based.
The nearly free housing, healthcare, and potential for a pension are all decent incentives. Basically everything people want for normal us citizens are provided to the military.
Barring, of course, active duty members who have to deal with deployment and location assignments.
There’s also the chance to kill people, so there’s that.
Sign me up.
Tax free liquor and tobacco? 3 meals a day? It was a good enough reason for granpappy to leave the still down in the holler.
Free college. Depending on where you live; better parking(purple heart), no property tax, unlimited handshakes, and the ability to stare into the middle distance and white-knuckle any moment you are left with your thoughts.
Better parking you say? 🤔
The prospects of room, board, health insurance, and a pension are more than enough to entice someone with no better options.
They take it just to sell it back to you.
lmao, who believes you’ll get any of that and not the post nam treatment
I’ve met so many disabled vets suffering and the va/benefits keep getting worse
Based on all the Arma footage already in the news I thought this was always the plan…
TIL wanking habits fit into recruitment parameters.
Wars are won and lost on a nations ability to not get physics yeeted into the air
