I once quit on the first day of a job.

I had previously worked with industrial robots and automation. Fixing them, calibrating them, making hardware and software adjustments as needed.

I was between jobs and found a small business that seemed like it was looking to do some automation expansion. The interview was a little weird because they were kind of vague with specifics. That’s not entirely abnormal with companies that have proprietary processes or automation, though I felt they were being a little bit overly cagey.

They wouldn’t take me into the clean room, which again isn’t unheard of, if in my opinion a little overly protective.

My previous job had been partially titled “Maintenance” (as in I maintained the robots) and the small company asked quite a lot about my versatility in maintaining things. I think that makes sense for a small company to want one person do all things for a robot.

I get a call that I’m hired. On paper the job looks good. Pay is a little low but this was an in-between job.

I show up for the first day of work and one of the first things I have to sign is a 15 page front and back Non Disclosure Agreement. That’s an insane length. My previous job with a huge, established tech company was a two page NDA and they actually had a lot of different processes.

So, I sign their crazy NDA and I’m taken into the airquotes “clean room”. First thing I notice is that I’m not suiting up or even putting on a white room style jacket. I see a cup of coffee on a “clean room” work bench. This is not a clean room.

I’m walked through and out of the “clean room” and to the outside back of the building and shown some air conditioner units. Told I need to work on those to fix them, and then later in the week I’ll be cutting the grass.

Lol.

No.

I left at lunch.

We hired a person who lived hours away from our office. To save on hotel, he had the bright idea to spend his first work-week nights at a non-stop bar (open 24h/7). He showed up still drunk on his second day. We let him go on day 2.

First morning at the job he comes in wanting to impress, so he copies some company data to his personal laptop to do extra work at home. He got fired at noon. The official reason was that he had copied that stuff without authorization, but a more likely reason was that someone had accidentally written an extra zero on the offer they made him, because it was several times above average in the area.

No one got fired but my favorite story similar to this is from back when I worked in fast food (McDonald’s).

We had someone on their first day scoff when asked to roll breakfast burritos.

Toward the end of their shift she was asked to wash dishes and at that point she took off her apron, threw it on the floor and walked out saying things like “I can’t believe they have me doing stuff like this.”

Really? You can’t imagine preparing food and washing dishes in a fast food restaurant?

The forst job i had was advertised as a customer service role. My thinking was itd be taking calls in the customer service department. With it being my first ever job/interview I missed all the red flags, sales were mentioned berifly but i figured it wasnt the main part of the job so itd be fine, and they even asked me about being on a phone.

Cut to my forst day and im brought into a room with roughly a dozen other new people, we are split into teams, assigned a team leader and told tp follow that person to the train staion. Turns put it was a door to door sales job. I quit before we got to the train station.

i was once fired on my last day of work. imagine that

I got fired before my first day. Well kind of.

So I was in college at this time and I had applied for and got hired at McDonald’s. I had previous experience working at McDonald’s in a different town. Not sure exactly what position it was anymore but something something lead I think. Anywho at the end of the ‘your hired’ talk the manager that did the hiring told me that the Christmas party was like that weekend and I should really show up to meet everybody. So despite not working a single day I show up for the Christmas party.

Well, her boss (the boss of the person who hired me) saw me and determined my hair was too long for a guy and fired me. He basically said that boys were to have essentially a 1950s men’s haircuts if they were going to work for him… At McDonald’s. I don’t remember the specific words but I remember getting the vibe that he was very homophobic and that he thought long hair was somehow gay. So I was given the ultimatum of getting a proper men’s haircut or I could be done. And despite not being gay myself I didn’t want to work for some dude who just oozed homophobia, so I peaced out and told everyone I could at the manager of that McDonald’s was a homophobic piece of shit.

For those wondering how long was my hair… It just barely touched the collar of my shirt, if it even touched. You know the ‘broke college student who can’t afford or remember when the last haircut was’ look.

I have a couple from the a warehouse job I worked at when I was 16. That place was wild lmao

• Fired from unplugging security cameras to charge his phone
• 30yo man harassing a 17yo girl
• That man’s wife fighting the 17yo girl for “flirting” with her husband even though she wasn’t
• Got on top of some shelves and took a nap. These shelves are really tall and you need a lift to get on top of them

These weren’t on their first day, but I thought they are worth mentioning

• Racing during lunch in the parking lot
• 10+ person brawl in the parking lot over a guy stealing another guy’s girlfriend
• A guy left his keys in his car so another guy just broke the window. He said he thought it was funny and that he got the bit from a movie, tv, or comedian or something
• A couple people got caught taking lunch on top of the shelves in a corner because the lunchroom was too loud. They also had a bed up there made up bubble wrap and yoga mats
• Going full speed into a door with a forklift while the forks were fully lifted
• Doing BMX tricks off the truck dock. I think people were riding skateboards off it too but I can’t remember 100%

That’s all the entertaining ones I can think of right now lol

I was a contacted technician at a retail store. They hired a new salesperson, immediately gave me weird vibes. On his lunch break, he came over to show me what I thought was going to be a meme on his phone - it was porn.

He was asked not to return for a second shift.

It was 30 minutes into day 2.

I was accused of cheating on their personality quiz (honestly why?) and then was told I wasn’t to have labeled the boxes I was expressly told to label the day before…

She then had me tear out the 2 pages of notes in front of the office before she marched me out.

This was for an accounting position at a small HOA. So I feel like that was enough of an explanation. Everyone else was terrified of that woman.

These are great stories, but my only experience has been people mysteriously not showing up for day 2 or 3…

When I was in highschool me and a couple of my friends got hired as waiters. We were required to attend these training sessions before we could start. It was your typical fake upbeat corp BS and we were a bunch of edgy teens, so you can imagine how it went. About halfway through the first session they tell my buddy he can change his attitude or leave, so he left.

I worked at a pet shop for two glorious days not knowing that I was the backup in case the boss’ nephew was accepted into his preferred college program. He was not accepted so I got the boot to make room for him on the team.

The manager doubled my first/ only paycheque because she felt bad. I’m still bitter 17 years later

Worked security at a factory that made kitchen appliances. It wasn’t his first day, but it was his first shift by himself.

There’s a gate at the front that you lock when you go on rounds.

Dude chooses to go on a round 5 minutes before shift change for the factory workers. He gets a call on company cell that folks are at the gate. Instead of coming back, he tells them to wait 20 minutes so he can finish his round.

20 minutes where they won’t be getting paid.

Second in command big boss of the factory is out there checking IDs and directing traffic when dude gets back from his round. Now this dude is nice. Genuinely one of the nicest people you’ll ever meet. Old union rep, shirt off his back type. Tells guard not to worry about it, all’s good. Just time his rounds better next time.

Guard starts screaming at him about how he had no right to undo the lock, to get out of here, he’ll handle them, and if he wants to make them wait that’s his right. Boss man tells him to chill out, he won’t get in trouble, just go do his log and then he can take over checking IDs.

Guard pulls out, in one hand, a mag light flashlight he was told not to have, and in the other chemical spray that’s illegal for a guard to carry without certs (which he didn’t have), and this is an unarmed site. Threatens to ““arrest”” him. When boss pulls out his cell to call the guard company, the guard sprayed him and knocked his cell onto the ground, and kicked it across the parking lot, breaking it.

Needless to say, he was fired. Boss didn’t press assault charges, but we nearly lost the contract.

I hired a woman once to work in the retail store I was managing at the time. After lunch, I noticed one of my long time employees crying in the break room. She had lost her wallet and whoever took it had wiped out her bank account at the Walmart next door. I called the manager over there and he pulled up the video and low and behold it was the new lady over there buying up gift cards. We called the police and after verifying what happened, they asked me if I wanted them to handle it quietly or to make a scene. I chose make a scene and they went into the backroom handcuffed her, told her why she was being arrested in front of everyone and marched her out. Needless to say HR agreed it should be an immediate termination.