- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
- cross-posted to:
- [email protected]
Why YSK: These email tips are helpful for people who struggle with boundaries and want to communicate more assertively.
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Yeah, I can tell why this is from adhddd.com, it’s all about assertiveness. People with ADHD in general (including myself, to an extent) have trouble with being assertive, so most of the phrases in this chart try to change a meek or mild-mannered response to a more assertive one. I think part of the struggle of life is finding balance because while some of these are generally improvements, others are generally worse, and the difference will depend on the tone you’re going for and the person that you’re sending the email.
Bingo!
All of these are really good examples of writing a good email, except the bottom left one.
The “wrong” example is perfectly fine, and the “correct” example is pretty rude unless you’re a project manager addressing your team. Even if you were a project manager, it’s still pretty rude.
Also it depends on if the person holding you up is the client or some other employee at your company.
Often it is the client the holding you up. In which case the best thing to do is send them an email about a week before the actual target date just to remind them, especially if they’ve done this before.
I totally agree, bottom left one screams of project manager that scheduled too much in your sprint and they’re pressuring you to finish everything asap
Improving my work emails is 99% of what I use ChatGPT for.
Some of those “wrong” ones would be fine for instant messages like Slack or Teams.
Totally agree. I think for me these are more about increasing confidence and assertiveness in communication rather than just better wording.
deleted by creator
My personal ones for corporate use:
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Never use I when you can use we.
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Even if you’re the only one working on a project, never refer to it as yours. Always refer to it as ours.
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Don’t apologize, present solutions.
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Don’t say “read my fucking email again you goddamn illiterate moron”, say “As previously noted in our communications…”
The last one is particularly important if you like to eat.
So that’s where I’ve been going wrong at previous jobs. Definitely taking note.
“Per my last email…”
good ‘ol corporate clap back
Our company “russian anthem starts playing”
I will also attach old emails rather than repeat myself.
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I have very mixed feelings about this. I feel personally attacked, but also might reference this moving forward
I’m absolutely using this moving forward…
Always happy to help!
I think it definitely depends on your relationship with the recipient. While I do think most of those are better options, I wouldn’t say they’re necessarily what you should write.
Agreed, it is not always prudent to be overly assertive.
For example, I may be working with someone else on a project that is not time sensitive, but for my own planning I like to stay up to date on progress. I absolutely would reach out to someone with a “Just checking in, how are things going with X” because, well, that’s honestly all I’m doing. Checking in.
Meanwhile, saying “When can I expect an update?” is almost like saying “I don’t think you’re going fast enough and I’m getting impatient,” which sends the wrong type of message, makes me seem like a hardass, and might impact the quality of work if the other person suddenly feels rushed.
I greatly prefer some of the “wrong” ones. Not everyone needs to talk like a corporate robot.
First rule of email: don’t use comic sans font.
Saying It’d be easier to discuss in person comes off as “I can’t legally put this in writing because it’s against your contract” and not “this is hard to word/explain.” Lol. This is straight PR shit.
This was created by a comic creator with ADHD. A lot of these are helpful for people with loose time boundaries.
I hate people doing that. It means that they can’t be bothered to think about their problem and what it actually is that they want from me.
If you can’t put it in words, you can’t put it in words. Changing the medium from mail to sound won’t help. Thinking will.
that’s not necessarily what it means. some things legitimately are easier to explain in person. ever try working out a complicated mathematical argument in an email? one can do it, but it’s not pretty. in person you can write on paper, draw figures, etc., synchronously with your compatriot observing and even participating. it’s not merely a change of medium from text to sound.
Sounds like you need a better maths plugin, not a personal meeting.
In a personal meeting you instantly get feedback on what the other understands and what needs in-depth explanation, and they can ask questions. It’s nothing like an email conversation.
Depends on who says it and whether they document it after. I do meet up to discuss when I have a lot of questions that will likely lead to questions, but I summarize it in a reply to the email so it is in writing.
A past jerk of a boss used the same phrase to mean what you said, but since he didn’t put anything in writing none of the rants he called discussions mattered as he couldn’t use them against me.
Some of these are good, some are just needlessly assertive nonsense. Especially the two where it’s actively refusing to acknowledge fault or apologize for it, which is standard PR crap. Refusing to apologize and instead saying “thanks for your patience” is what I expect to hear from my ISP when they miss their scheduled install, not from a coworker.
There’s nothing wrong with being a normal human being that is capable of admitting their own shortcomings. If never saying sorry means “being a boss” then that explains why there’s so many sociopaths as CEOs.
“Hope that make sense?” Vs “Let me know if you have any questions.”
The latter is saying “here’s the explanation, figure it out, bother me again if you can’t”. The fromer, while poorly worded, is being helpful, actively attempting to make sure the person understands before leaving them to it. It’s both a kindness and doing your due diligence.
Agreed! It’s like…. You know we’re emailing other people too right? Not everyone is a delicate fucking flower that needs to be coddled. Yes there are better ways to word stuff, but typing as a medium often just leaves too much up to interpretation. A difficult conversation should be discussed on a call.
I’m so happy to see a sane comment at the top here. So many of these are just stupid and border on alpha male don’t take not shit or admit fault crap.
I think it goes the other way too. For people that tend to apologize too much, even when it’s not their fault, mixing in a “thanks for your patience” is a good way to balance it out a bit.
I’m torn. I feel like admitting guilt and owning up to your failures is a virtue, but I’m not sure the rest of the world agrees with me
Neurotypical enough to read body language, neurodivergent enough to never understand why
I’m with you. Just being honest about a failure is fine. Doesn’t have to be a dramatic apology, just an acknowledgment with a bit of regret perhaps.
That makes sense. I think that’s a different issue than I was thinking. Ultimately if it’s a sincere comment I think that’s the most important thing.
Seriously… and oftentimes just combining both works better. “Hey sorry I’m late, I appreciate you all being patient” or “Hope that all makes sense, but please feel free to ask any questions if they come up”
“Thank you for your patience” gives me such a visceral reaction, lol
I never open email. Work is so much easier.
A man after my heart.
It’d be easier to discuss in person
Hold on, hold on, they must have put something crazy in the coffee this morning
“Ping me, ping me!”
“Remember Roger? I took him offline so hard he left the industry.”
Some of these are good, because getting into the habit of thanking people for helping (“thanks for catching that!”) fosters good working relationships or providing specifics that, presumably, work for you, too (“can you do [x] times?”) is a better starting point than being truly open ended.
But I well and truly despise the “thanks for your patience/when can I expect” because we ALL know what you mean and I respect someone far more if they acknowledge, explain, and move on from their errors than just…reword shit.
I like how this post started a lot of good discussions on what people like and dislike in email communication. Really lively in here.
I imagine a LOT of us have many, teeth-clenching opinions on what constitutes a good email. XD
Problem’s already been solved, however: it’s mine. My way’s the best.
Haha, this is exactly it. The comments here make it obvious people have OPINIONS. I’m here to enjoy it.
Um, I think someone may have hit you upside the head because it’s obvious and clear that my way is the best.
I think this is also a big cultural thing. Some countries really value directness, others see that as rude.
