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Accept that good actions will not give an immediate or always measurable result for you to observe.
You are a social being. What matters most is often not what increases you in status, but what increases others in wellbeing or allows you to appreciate the beauty in lifem
On your death bed you will not wish to have worked more, but probably to have spent more time with people dear to you or that you had spent more time for actions that nudge society a tiny bit more towards your values.
Capitalism especially todays consumerism is built around manipulating you to identify yourself with superficial status. Breaking free of that will open yourself to value your time and actions as meaningful as they become meaningful, even if there is no number or title attachable to it.
I made a vow to myself long ago, because this world’s warped ideals tend to creep up on you when you’re not looking.
I often recite that vow any time someone dear to me apologizes for something like “taking up [my] time.”
I tell them that I vowed to myself that I woud never, ever, regret time spent in good company. Even if it might have been a little inconvenient for whatever reason. We were put here to love thy neighbor, not to hustle and hoard.
Simple as that. It’s kept me from losing the picture so far.
Capitalism also exploits the inherent nature of humans to please and feel validated by others through work. However, the system initially stems from the idea that individuality is sovereign and the cornerstone of successful being and society as a whole. However, no one notices or questions this paradox. Capitalism promotes individualism, and yet if you are not immersed in the grind, hustle and productivity culture, you are deemed lazy and unproductive by society. In other words, even in a system that touts individuality, the worth of someone is still tied to impressing society at large. At the end of the day, you’re not pleasing yourself or your colleagues, you are pleasing those at the top who are earning more than you ever will.
For work-life balance on the basis of the comic, by refusing to do any kind of overtime on a regular basis, and making sure any time it happens I’m compensated for it. I’m also fortunate enough to earn enough that I was able to reduce my working hours to have Fridays free. Having half of the year free gives me the opportunity to actually do some living.
Now for the more general question, I mostly try to not think about it, because it tends to throw me into a FOMO driven frenzy where I do things to cross them from a checklist and end up not really enjoying anything. For the most part, I found I’m much happier trying to live in the moment even if I’m not very good at it.
Let go and let life slip through your hand like sand
Like sand through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives.
All we are is dust in the wind.
I don’t like sand. It’s coarse, and rough, and irritating, and it gets everywhere.
Ani, have you always been such a whiny bitch?
just like life
skill issue. i would simply refrain from aging. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q2bo_u_YmW8
This quote really struck a chord with me:
Over the years as we all worked our way into time as if it were a field of sawgrass, cutting our ankles, a slog into middle age for me and a slow sunken decline towards death for the generation before me and my siblings. There were break-ups, fuck-ups, children and my own struggles with misty sorrow that has seemed to follow me like a sick-feral cat. A walking disappointment was what I felt like much of the time, even though I had enough confidence in myself to live the kind of life I desired. […] In my mind I see the universe swirling like a giant whirlpool swallowing up everything all at once, and in this grand whirlpool people are smaller than a droplet of water rushing over Niagara Falls and then become mist. And when I die, my memories die with me and perhaps for one or two generations I will be remembered for a few things in my life but not for the mundane or what my daily interactions were like, not the cuddling of my dog nor the pride in my children or the laughter I was a part of, so much laughter that it caused people’s head’s to turn.
These days, mostly panicking about getting everything on the bucket list set up. I’ve let too much just fly by already.
bro i hate this type of shit, when you are a kid you are not doing school work all of the time, and when you are an adult you are not working all of the time - yes you will always have responsibilities but that is a part of your life
I honestly stopped caring about time as we use it (I’d need to think for a minute if someone asked me what day it is) since the Pandemic. Never had much use for time other than scheduling, but the Pandemic seems to have completely cut me off from it.
Now, I just exist. Que sera, sera.
That’s fantastic for you but most of us don’t have the privilege.
Granted, not something which works for everyone. But I don’t think such a shift in mentality is a privilege necessarily.
I mean, the whole point of my perspective now is that it really doesn’t matter what day, or month, or year it is, all that matters is what happens. Why count the time which passes and try to guess the time that’s left, when in spite of having the perfect organism in terms of physiological functions and immunity, one could still get smeared by a bus like paint on a canvas tomorrow.
I will concede that the fact that I do not fear death whatsoever also helps immensely. Literally no pressure, just flinging my best guess at it and dealing with whatever happens as a result.
Oh I get it, I’m also a hedonistic nihilist. I used to live the way you described, in a squat. I’m happier now in the house I rent with my wife and our cats. We have running water and the electricity doesn’t come from an extension cord to the neighbor’s!
But it came at the huge price of working and traveling for work all the fucking time. I’m still right there with you though. I don’t care if I’m struck down minutes after posting this. Hope it’s quick.
First off, I am genuinely happy to hear that you’ve managed to find some stability and that you have loving souls around you! I wish you and everyone you love nothing but the best! 🤗
Second, as related to my hedonistic nihilism… well… not quite:))
I have started to accept a bit of hedonism in my life for mental health reasons in the past years (I’ve been raised as a tool, not as a human being), but I’m not nihilistic. I don’t stress out about how long I have and the magnitude of my actions anymore, sure, but I am passionate about what there is. I love life (maybe even too much at times), I love my passions and interests, I love the wonders of existence, and I believe it’s ultimately awesome that we’re here to see the unfolding of the Universe. I also hate how bad we’ve made things for ourselves and the amount of injustice and inequality makes me sadder and angrier than I’ve ever been. And I will keep trying until I die to contribute whatever I can to shifting humanity
backon a reasonable and empathetic trajectory.I’ve been doing the 9-to-5 ever since I got out of Uni and managed to build a liveable career out of failing upward (I take full advantage of my intuition). I managed to squeeze into the housing market before prices started exploding here as well and own my own hole in the ground (we’re about 20 years behind America in terms of socio-economic trajectory, but we’re starting to speedrun the degradation, it seems), haven’t taken a proper vacation since 2011 (more than a week and actually going somewhere other than my living room), etc., etc.
I used to worry about everything, I used to carry the pressure of being a good little worker ant, of being the best specimen possible, keeping my mouth shut and working my ass off. And all I got for it is high blood pressure, profound loneliness, Meniere’s disease and teeth which I’ve chewed half to shit, and I’m barely in my mid 30s. Had my first (and only, so far) heart attack at 26.
The lockdowns gave me the context I needed to snap out of it. Had the privilege of working from home (QA guy) and spent the entire lockdown pretty much alone in my apartment. And I kept thinking about things, and realised the pain I caused myself for basically no damned reason, just because we’re forced to play this stupid little game of Capitalism since the moment we’re squeezed out into the world. I actually sort of died back then. At least a part of me did, the part which held any and all concern for trying to fit into the system. Then I could finally see my core values again, the things which were important to me. And keeping track of time really wasn’t on that list, to the point where I stopped celebrating or even caring about my birthday, or New Year’s.
Now I just try to live by my principles. I’ll give it my best shot at being myself and following my values, but I won’t have a psychotic break at the end if I don’t manage to be the uber-me, nor do I care that life will kill me sooner or later. Nearly did that myself through trying to live it by the terms set by society. It’s impossible to unsee the Absurd once it smacks you in the face.
Edit: some corrections.
Im Glad im not the only one that fell into the void outside of time.
Life really does feel a lot different once you stop counting minutes. I’m honestly very grateful for this paradigm shift!
That’s a pretty big question, with a couple of different interpretations. If you are asking how I handle thinking about the passage of time, the easiest answer is to make it tomorrow’s problem. This is probably not the healthiest answer; but it doesn’t pay to stress over inevitabilities, so I just do my best to put them out of my mind.
If you are asking the best way to utilize your time, my recommendation is to start focusing on yourself immediately. It’s very easy to prioritize work by staying late or overworking yourself to make your bosses happy, but no amount of overwork will ever satiate your company; it will only serve to drain the life from your body. It’s very important to set firm boundaries with your job. I, personally, will not even look at my work phone or computer the minute I leave the office (on Mon-WFH days) and have a hard stop every day at 5PM unless agreed upon well in advance. You lose so much time and energy to your job that just standing firm on your boundaries can be a huge QoL boost.
Please also do your best to cultivate a creative outlet as a hobby. A lot of people don’t think they are/can be creative, but anyone can be creative if they find the right outlet. It could be art, sewing, crochet, music, writing, or even creative programming. The important thing is to find a way to explore your feelings and do something productive with them. In my experience, I am often the most vivacious are when I am making art in one form or another; I highly recommend it.
Thank you for this. This comment is just a little push but now I see – I’ve already forgotten how long I’d gone without writing a note onto a staff. How long I’ve spent on just “things that will pay me or pay off.”
I will do this immediately.
I wholeheartedly agree with all your points! You are not your job (even if you love your job)! Set clear boundaries, have hobbies, friends, take walks in nature, do some sports/pottery/gardening/whatever, try different things, til you find some you enjoy.
Stop existing to work. Instead create the memories now. Go have fun now. In the US the retirement age is going up to 70. One of the reasons is specifically because people are getting more good years, so of course the bar had to be moved. Enjoying retirement is a con.
Fun requires being alive, requires money, requires work, demands time. Getting fun can get complicated. There isn’t a true answer to this conundrum as far as I know—not an inspiring one, at least. Makes me think about what human life is supposed to look like.
Makes me think about what human life is supposed to look like.
I also spent most of my energy working, but I do get some time to occasionally do things I like but those also take some energy. If I imagine my perfect life I probably wouldn’t have the energy to live it. But still, I can’t help thinking I should do much more and I feel bad…
Go have fun now.
That doesn’t look like anything to me.
is the increases to fra still due to reagan’s changes to the system in the early 80s?
I honestly don’t know where the blame lies for the financial situation but the age increase legislation was much more recent, like Obama years.
That’s great advice in a society where most people don’t need several jobs to survive.
I know of some people who have radically redefined survive. From Van Life to learning a language and going to developing countries where it’s easier to earn money and have fun. I’m not saying that’s a good fit for you or that we should all be doing it but at some point putting 90 hours in just to keep the apartment and child care paid for is going to break. So something needs to happen to relieve that first or else you’re just going to die young and stressed.
going to developing countries where it’s easier to earn money and have fun.
Curious, what countries exactly are you thinking of?
I’ve heard of people who are really into surfing going to Mexico. Most countries South of Central America fill the same function for people who just like doing outdoors stuff. We’re not talking about France or something.
People need to face the reality that currently for a lot of people it’s just not possible to escape the reality of living in financial distress and on the edge of homelessness their whole lives. Just because you know of some lucky people who were able to escape it doesn’t mean that it’s possible for everyone. It’s really demeaning to tell people to ‘work harder’ or ‘change it up’ ‘you’ll get there!’. Because you’re implying that it’s their fault if it doesn’t get better.
The only way to change this reality is to change the system we live in, and to stop letting rich people rule our economies and thus our lives.
At the root of it yes. I’m not trying to blame people who keep their nose to grind wheel for whatever reason, and there are legitimate reasons to do so. I’m just saying that when the system is this broken we should be throwing the box away. We don’t owe the elites shit. I legitimately looked into the price of living in camp grounds at one point before we were able to bring in more money. It’s a 2 week limit in each spot but the “rent” is far lower.
It’s part of the reason I’m a transhumanist.
Where do I get a career I can retire from to complain about?
Capitalism is the hidden antagonist here.
