It can be low effort, passive-aggressive, insulting or derogatory towards your convictions.

  • BlackRing
    link
    fedilink
    437 months ago

    I had an aunt and uncle who, when I was a kid maybe 12, were not well off. They got my brother and I each this toyset that was like make pretend welding. It had a hand tool that, if I remember, let you weld with this soft plastic to make things with the parts in the kit.

    It also had a chamber near the nozzle that spun and contained something that made a bunch of sparks.

    Well… The thing kept zapping and burning me. Kinda hurt. So, being 12, I complained about it.

    And of course, I was an ingrate for not liking the toy they could afford instead of a Lego set or something. The worst of it was I got what my parents meant, my aunt and uncle were kind of ashamed. But it burned me.

    Hell I thought it was really cool, and even said so, but I couldn’t keep playing with it due to, you know, my hand being red and kinda cut up.

    Just bad times all around.

    And no, no one suggested put a glove on, and it did not come with one.

  • Ben Hur Horse Race
    link
    fedilink
    377 months ago

    My mother-in-law gave me a booked called The Etiquette Edge which essentially explained how to be polite

    • @Arality@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      107 months ago

      This is so funny to me! My wife recently got mad at me for comments I made on our anniversary. When I explained what I meant, she was totally fine. Communication is hard sometimes.

      • @tetris11@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        27 months ago

        “No honey, I was referring to that female dog… and was saying that you can’t not you’re a c-

      • Ben Hur Horse Race
        link
        fedilink
        137 months ago

        Yeah I’d agree with that, but this is different. She was trying to help with what she saw as my ignorance about how much more positively people respond when you follow certain social rules.

        She’s a northern German woman who used to run a car dealership. I listen to punk rock. We get along but the things we value in life are pretty disparate.

    • Cousin Mose
      link
      fedilink
      257 months ago

      I’m vegan and the number of people who can’t figure out “no animal products” is astounding. I’m so tired of “no eggs? No dairy?” like yes bitch, I don’t fuck with animals.

      People act like it’s rocket science.

      • Snot Flickerman
        link
        fedilink
        English
        97 months ago

        To be fair, the person you’re responded to said “vegetarian” not “vegan.” But yes, otherwise, it isn’t rocket science. My vegan boys are big fans of seitan.

      • @SoulWager@lemmy.ml
        link
        fedilink
        13
        edit-2
        7 months ago

        People act like it’s rocket science.

        There’s always going to be a question as to where you draw the line. For example, is it okay to eat figs, even though they’re pollinated by wasps that end up in them? Is it okay to eat plants grown using animal products as fertilizer? Is it okay to eat cultured meat that is many generations removed from a living animal, such that none of the material present now was part of the living animal? How about things in the animal kingdom, but outside the chordates? The ones you’d need a microscope to see? Is honey okay to eat?

        There’s also the issue that other people that call themselves vegan will disagree with you on what all counts.

        • Cousin Mose
          link
          fedilink
          7
          edit-2
          7 months ago

          It’s usually not that complex. If someone has a plate of chilaquiles with egg on it and I say I’m vegan I don’t think it’s hard to discern that I’m probably not going to eat it.

          • @SoulWager@lemmy.ml
            link
            fedilink
            77 months ago

            Egg is obvious if you know what the difference is between vegetarian and vegan in the first place, but I don’t think you can expect most people to be able to cook vegan food, even if they’re trying, and know the basic definition. I know enough non-obvious uses of animal products(like shellac on fruit), that I’d have no confidence in being able to avoid them all unless I grew everything myself.

        • Cousin Mose
          link
          fedilink
          13
          edit-2
          7 months ago

          How could I forget? It always blows people’s minds that I don’t eat fish, but before I was vegan I never liked fish anyway but no one had a problem with it then.

    • Snot Flickerman
      link
      fedilink
      English
      287 months ago

      Are you full vegan or just vegetarian?

      If it’s for Ouback Steakhouse, you could always have a Bloomin Onion if you’re okay with eggs and milk.

      But otherwise, yeah, not much else on the menu for ya.

      • @Addv4@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        217 months ago

        Don’t forget salad. Outback is largely one of the worst if you’re vegetarian unfortunately. Most steakhouses at least have a few vegetable sides and can make a meal out of them.

    • spicy pancake
      link
      fedilink
      English
      67 months ago

      I used to receive a lot of Starbucks gift cards and can only drink so much coffee, so I would sell the codes using an online gift card trade site. I forget which specific one I used, but there are several sites when you search up “sell gift cards.” I used to get like $0.70 per dollar or so, which isn’t terrible when you’re a broke college kid. Can’t pay rent in gift cards lol

  • @Noel_Skum@sh.itjust.works
    link
    fedilink
    497 months ago

    My mate’s little sister was sad and bemused one Christmas when their parents bought her a (single) Pom-pom. Why would you not buy a pair?

  • @EllE@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    517 months ago

    I once got a picture of a really cool present from my dad, which he said was in the mail. Never got the present.

    • @tamal3@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      12
      edit-2
      7 months ago

      Maybe it got “porch pirated”. I thought I was immune from that until my things started disappearing.

  • @DJDarren@thelemmy.club
    link
    fedilink
    English
    347 months ago

    My gran once gave me a toilet brush. The base had penguins floating in blue liquid, but it was ultimately just a cheap toilet brush.

    I gave her a beautiful marble maze.

    I didn’t bother after that.

  • Snot Flickerman
    link
    fedilink
    English
    29
    edit-2
    7 months ago

    My sister wanted me to be the Godfather to her children. She considered it a “gift.”

    I’m an atheist. I told her explicitly “Hey, you remember I’m an atheist, right?” Part of this whole Godfather business is making a promise to raise them religiously if their parent dies. I thought I was being considerate and kind by being honest that I did not want to be a Godfather because I could not in good conscience make such a promise.

    Nope, I’m the bad guy, not the person who knew I was atheist and decided to not respect that at all anyway by asking me to be a Godfather to begin with.

    • @phoneymouse@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      42
      edit-2
      7 months ago

      God parents are supposed to care for the children, if the parents die. I think you shouldn’t overthink it. If you’re willing to fill that role, then raise the kids however you think is best. Accept the role gracefully as it is an honor and your sister is showing she loves and trusts you. Leave it at that.

      As atheists, we have to acknowledge that most of the world isn’t yet on our level of thinking, but also that we don’t really have similar “concepts” for religious traditions that serve certain societal needs. God parents do serve a societal function. As an atheist, I can acknowledge that, accept that role, and play the part for those I love.

    • @faltryka@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      317 months ago

      Was that their expectation of you, or just a common religious interpretation?

      I know plenty of people who use the term and have no care for the religious history of it.

  • @ImplyingImplications@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    827 months ago

    I received a framed picture of my parents, from my parents. They said it was because I didn’t have a picture of them hung up in my house.

  • @Hellnikko@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    527 months ago

    I was given 30 quarters that had letters and numbers on each one in a black velvet pouch. If you put them in a certain order, it had a message. The quarters went in year order. The message was a Bible passage according to Matthew. It was when Judas was given 30 silver for betraying Jesus.

    The context, I told one of our friends that the gifter was trying to get with his wife while he was deployed. He denied and then made me feel like shit to insinuate such a thing. Turns out, it was true.

    I still have the quarters so I could give them back some day.

    • @blackbrook@mander.xyz
      link
      fedilink
      67 months ago

      Wasn’t Judas the one who did the denying? So by referencing this isn’t the gifter calling himself Judas and not you?

      • propter_hog [any, any]
        link
        fedilink
        English
        87 months ago

        Not a Christian, but it was Peter who denied Christ, and Judas betrayed him to the authorities. So in a way, OP is kind of like Judas, if Jesus was a dudebro who liked sleeping with deployed soldiers’ wives and felt crucified if you told on him.

      • M. Orange
        link
        fedilink
        97 months ago

        No, it was Peter who denied Jesus three times. Judas gave Jesus up to the Roman government by kissing him to show them who Jesus was.

  • u/lukmly013 💾 (lemmy.sdf.org)
    link
    fedilink
    English
    267 months ago

    Not the gift itself, but the response.

    First of all, even before Christmas I said I’d prefer NO GIFTS at all. Regardless, my dad got me some inkjet HP printer. I thanked him for it, but asked him that we’d return it. I tried to be respectful, but regardless, he got mad at me and didn’t talk with me for like 2 days.

    Later he sent me the money for it and asked me to buy something for it and show him what it was. I do not know why I couldn’t just keep it as extra money, but oh well, it had to be spent on something.
    I got a refurbished ThinkPad for that. Pretty good device, by far beating value of HP inkjet. I even got it with a 2 year warranty (without extended) like with a new device, while only 1 year is required.

    • @bobs_monkey@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      247 months ago

      My mom knows I’m always buying tools for work (electrician) and computer-related parts/devices. She still has trouble wrapping around the idea that I don’t want (as much as I sincerely do appreciate the gesture) anything in those arenas due to specificity of requirement, that and most things of that nature tend to be expensive. She still buys little random things from Home Depot, like last year she bought this wrist cuff thing with magnets on it. Great idea on paper, but not in the field. At this point she’s getting older so I kinda just humor her.

  • Corroded
    link
    fedilink
    English
    137 months ago

    XXL pajamas. I’m a medium bordering on small so I was swimming in them.

    I think I also got a video game for a console I didn’t have but the gesture was nice.